


There is a light (that never goes out)

by Minnie0503



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Battle of Hogwarts, Character Death, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, First Time, Friendship, Hurt, Love Triangles, Mild Gore, Parent Death, Pining, Post-Hogwarts, Romance, Second War with Voldemort, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 81,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29939961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minnie0503/pseuds/Minnie0503
Summary: Alicia Spinnet is fresh out of Hogwarts and ready to do her part in the upcoming Wizarding War. When she's not pining after a certain Weasley, she's learning all she can at St Mungo's to help the Order of the Phoenix in their fight against Voldemort. But one night of being in the wrong place at the wrong time changes everything and suddenly it's a lot more difficult for Alicia to see everything as black and white as she used to.
Relationships: Alicia Spinnet/Adrian Pucey, Alicia Spinnet/Charlie Weasley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

Her calves are on fire. Sweat is running into her eyes and she can hardly see where she is going. Her breath comes in quick sharp bursts and her heart is beating way too fast. When the hex hits her in the back she’s almost relieved. Alicia goes down.

“You’re dead, Spinnet.” Tonks gently stubs her arm with the tip of her shoe. “If you’re going to run, you can’t just run in a straight line. And you definitely can’t stick to the path.”

Alicia’s breath starts to somewhat stabilise. “You can’t step on the grass.” She weakly raises her arm and points it at a small sign almost hidden by the lush grass. “It says so right there.” 

Tonks laughs. “You idiot. You’re such a stickler for rules. Not very Gryffindor of you.” The older witch puts her hand out for Alicia to grab on to. “Come on then. Molly’s making breakfast.” 

They apparate to the gates of the Burrow. Alicia is glad for Tonks taking her side-along, she is starting to feel dizzy from exhaustion. After finishing her overnight shift at St Mungo’s just an hour ago Alicia apparated straight to St James’ park for her training with Tonks who had taken it upon herself to whip the newest additions to the Order into shape. Usually they work out in the evenings and Oliver, Angelina and Lee are there too but Alicia is on nights this week. Tonks doesn’t mind having to work out twice, which Alicia finds irritatingly impressive and also very Hufflepuff of her.

“Died again?” Fred asks almost gleefully when Alicia trots into the kitchen just after the Tonks. Instead of a reply she flips him off. 

“Alicia!” Mrs Weasley scolds from her left and Alicia flinches. She’s so exhausted she didn’t even see her. 

“Sorry, Mrs Weasley.” 

Mrs Weasley tuts but doesn’t say anything else. Fred grins at her and once Alicia has made sure that his mum has her back turned she flips him off again. 

“Can I use your shower please?” As good as Mrs Weasley’s cooking smells, Alicia does not want to sit down at the table in her grubby running shorts and t-shirt drenched in sweat. She thinks she can also still smell puke in her hair from where a toddler has thrown up on her shoulder and down her scrubs. And getting most of it into her hair when her little arms had been flailing wildly trying to get back to her mum. 

“Of course, my dear. Ginny can lend you a change of clothes if you want. She’s still asleep.” Mrs Weasley calls from the stove and Alicia makes her way upstairs, leaving Tonks and Fred behind at the table. 

The Burrow feels like a second home to Alicia. She’s visited the twins together with Angelina, Lee and Oliver when they were all still at Hogwarts and now that she’s joined the Order after graduating just under a month ago she spends most of her mealtimes there. Alicia loves the Burrow. She’s grown up an only child and raised by her muggleborn mum who does most things the muggle way. So the magic of the Burrow is just as exciting to her as the bustle of having so many people around. And she loves Mrs Weasley and the way she just accepts everyone into her home, cooking for them and treating them like her own children. Alicia has started her healer training a week after graduating and it has been exhausting from the day one. Having a place to go to for a warm meal and an even warmer hug is just heaven. 

Alicia doesn’t bother to knock but quietly eases the door to Ginny’s room open. She isn’t surprised to see Hermione Granger sleeping on a mattress on the floor and graciously steps over the young witch to grab a pair of jeans and a light jumper from Ginny’s wardrobe. Alicia is out of the room before either of the girls even stir. She runs into George on her way up to the bathroom who just yawns and walks past her downstairs, following the enticing smells of breakfast. The bathroom is locked when Alicia tries to open it. She sighs and waits. The downside to having a full house is having to wait to use the bathroom. Alicia can hear the shower being turned off and she knocks. Patience is not her virtue.

“Hang on, George.” A deep voice calls and after some rustling Charlie opens the door. “You’re not George.” He says, a towel loosely hanging around his waist.

“Not quite.”

They look at each other awkwardly until Charlie smiles. “Let me just grab my clothes.”

Charlie turns around to pick them up and because Alicia thinks it’s a smart thing to do, she goes into the bathroom after him and shuts the door behind her. She drops Ginny’s clothes and, ignoring Charlie’s confused expression, wraps her arms around his neck to pull him close. He smells faintly of coconut and Alicia dreads to think what she must smell like. 

“Mhmm, sweat and puke. Lovely.” Charlie says and Alicia cringes. He sighs. “What are you doing, Spinnet?”

“I don’t know yet.” Alicia leans away from him a little, feeling self-conscious of how badly she smells. “I had a pukey shift. A nursery out in Shoreditch had a stomach bug outbreak and we’ve had a continuous stream toddlers coming in all throughout the night.” 

“Sounds fun.” Alicia can feel him exhaling against her head and she hopes there aren’t any bits of puke stuck in her hair. “This is a bad idea.”

Alicia wishes he wouldn’t say things like that but then not step away from her. “I’m not doing anything.” She drops her hands down her side. 

“You know I’ve got to be the responsible adult about this, right?” Charlie says not unkindly, because nothing Charlie ever says is unkind or mean or hurtful. 

“Sure.” Alicia is not like Charlie so it comes out sharp and prissy. 

He gently pats her shoulder before leaving and it is such a familiar and gentle gesture it almost makes Alicia flinch with the loaded meaning behind it. It’s a pat that means you’re my brothers’ best friend, pretty much part of this family. And that’s it. That’s all it’ll ever be. Alicia peels the sweaty clothes off her body and turns the shower on to the coldest setting she can bare. 

~||~

Angelina and Oliver as well as Lee are sitting at the large table and already tucking into their breakfast. Alicia isn’t surprised to see them, Mrs Weasley seems to have adopted all the young adults who make up a substantial part of the Order. She can hear Ginny and Hermione laughing in the stairway on their way down to the kitchen. Alicia sits down next to Angelina and gives her a half hug, her eyes already scanning the breakfast items on offer this morning. Her gaze briefly meest Charlie’s and she pretends not to feel hurt when he looks away quickly.

“How was training?” Angelina asks, her mouth partly filled with toast and a worried look on her face that leaves no doubt that she’s witnessed Alicia’s and Charlie’s little interaction-or lack thereof- across the table. 

“Not great. But it’s taking a little longer now until Tonks manages to kill me. I haven’t been to bed yet though. Night shift.” Alicia replies but there isn’t much pity coming from her best friend.

Angelina looks exhausted herself, she’s joined the Ministry after graduating and works in the Obliviation Task Force. She’d originally planned to get a job in Magical Games and Sports but Moody had wanted someone to keep track of the Obliviation HQ so that’s what Angelina is doing. It’s been the same with Oliver who had forgone his plans of becoming a Quidditch pro to take up a position at the Department for Magical Transportation two years ago and is now in floo maintenance. They both hate it. Alicia knows that the Order is trying to catch up with all the witches and wizards the Death Eaters have already placed in key ministry positions. At least Lee seems happy to work at the Daily Prophet. Moody is quite pleased to have someone who’s able to follow just to what extend the newspaper is twisting the truth.

Alicia always wanted to get into healing and Moody was keen to have a healer on standby so he didn’t object to her going into the St Mungo’s healer programme. He isn’t too happy about her being in Magical Bugs but Alicia is getting first response training and has promised Moody that she’ll sign over to Spell Damage as soon as she’s able to. 

Angelina opens her mouth again, probably to ask Alicia about her shift but is interrupted by Moody’s bulldog patronus charging across the breakfast table. 

“Attack on Millennium bridge. Apparition point set up in the gents’ at the Globe.” Moody’s voice booms.

For a moment there is silence and then everyone seems to spur into action at once. Fred, Angelina and Lee nod at each other briefly and then go to the fireplace to floo to the Ministry. Oliver, Tonks and George run outside to apparate to Surrey. Moody is convinced that any attack could just be a diversion from either a coup on the Ministry or to get to Harry. He has spend ages drilling into them that no matter how strong their first instinct is to protect and safe the muggles or wizards and witches in danger, it is more important to follow Moody’s orders. They don’t like it but know that Moody, and Dumbledore and Shacklebolt, are looking at the bigger picture. The three of them had learned their lessons from the first wizarding war where their efforts hadn’t been coordinated enough.

“I’ve got a first aid bag, Alicia.” Mrs Weasley somehow manages to rifle through a drawer in the kitchen whilst still glowering at Ginny and Hermione, daring them to even suggest that they could help. Finally she finds a muddy brown bag and hands it over to Alicia.

“I’ll side-along you.” Charlie says and Alicia hates herself for craving his touch so much that even something as arbitrary as side-along apparition makes her feel flush. 

They leave for the garden where they can disapparate from. Panic slowly takes over at the prospect of entering an active battle for the first time. Alicia knows perfectly well that she won’t have to actually partake in the fighting but waiting on the sidelines to treat her friends’ injuries seems just as daunting.

“It’ll be okay.” Charlie, clearly aware of her rising panic, grabs her hand and squeezes it gently. “You can do it.” 

Alicia feels disgusted with herself to even consider using the upcoming battle as an excuse to lean into him, knowing that he’ll hug her. She does it anyway.

~||~

Alicia’s first instinct when they get to the Millennium bridge is to run. Charlie and her have exited the Globe theatre at a quick run. Alicia’s calves are still burning but adrenaline is now slowly but surely taking over and every step pushes her exhaustion further to the back of her mind. Charlie is still holding her hand and if it weren’t for that she might’ve actually just disapparated. 

There are screaming muggles everywhere and the cracking sound of Death Eaters and aurors apparating cuts through the chaos like thunder. The aurors are trying to fight the Death Eaters whilst simultaneously rescuing muggles from drowning in the river. They also have to be careful for their spells not to hit any bystanders which automatically puts them at a disadvantage as the Death Eaters obviously have no such qualms. Alicia ignores the pit in her stomach when she sees how few aurors there are compared to the much larger number of Death Eaters, clad in their dark robes and black and golden masks. The Millennium bridge itself is swaying precariously and Alicia doesn’t think it will hold for much longer.

“We’ve set up a first aid station just outside the Tate.” Shacklebolt shouts whilst running towards them. He looks frantic, trying to coordinate the efforts of the aurors and Order members on the scene. “Charlie, I need you on muggle rescue.” Charlie nods and with one last glance at Alicia he runs towards the fray, his wand already out.

“Any other healers?” Alicia’s eyes automatically follow Charlie so now she has to rush to catch up with Shacklebolt who’s almost halfway towards the museum already. 

Shacklebolt shakes his head in frustration. “They’re blocking communication. We’ve only managed to get hold of some aurors via patronus. There’s more coming but it takes time. And St Mungo’s is yet to react, no idea how they managed to cut the hospital off.”

“Right.” Alicia manages to get out, hit by the sudden responsibility. She isn’t even a proper healer yet. 

The two of them get to what Shacklebolt generously has called the first aid station. Alicia can only make out a shoddily and quickly drawn up ward of protection and then rows of muggles in varying states of consciousness. Wizards and witches apparate in and out, dropping off muggles at random intervals. Alicia blanches. Some muggles they drop off aren’t moving and just sink to the ground limply. 

Shacklebolt stops just outside the circle and turns to Alicia. He gives her a level look. “Preserve your energy.” 

Alicia holds onto her bag and wand more tightly. ‘Preserve your energy’ is healer speak for saving only those who can be saved. It means not spending more than three minutes per patient. It means no resuscitation, no easing of passing on. 

Shacklebolt nods to her gravely and then turns to return to the battle at hand. Alicia enters the warded circle and forces herself not to pay any attention to the cries. She does not let the panic take over, does not let herself feel overwhelmed. Alicia takes a deep breath. There is a reason why Oliver always had her shooting penalties when they were still at Hogwarts. Alicia is great at compartmentalising. So Alicia picks a corner and starts. 

She quickly assesses whether the muggles need healing or can just be ignored for now. With a trained hand she uses her wand to conjure a blob of either orange or green colour onto some part of their clothing. Healers will start showing up at some point and then they’ll know who needs their attention more urgently and who can be ignored for now and obliviated later. Anyone Alicia would normally colour red she deals with straight away. It slows her down and possibly means someone dying who she hasn’t seen to yet but Alicia can not move on and leave someone dying behind her. Not if she knows they will without her immediate care. 

She doesn’t know what to do with the dead bodies splattered amongst the muggles. Some look like they are sleeping but Alicia knows they’ve been mercifully hit by an avada. Some are deadly pale and almost blue, they must have drowned and the aurors have fished them out of the river maybe not realising they were already too late. Or maybe just doing the decent thing even if it wastes time. The muggles are so distraught that they don’t even seem to notice the dead bodies scattered amongst them.

Alicia has made it through about a third when Angelina apparates just next to where Alicia is healing a nasty head wound on a maybe ten year old boy. He is staring into nothing and Alicia is certain he’s concussed and severely traumatised. She gives quick instructions to the girl sitting next to him to not let the boy fall asleep before she acknowledges her friend. 

“The Ministry is fine. They’ve send more aurors and healers are on their way.” Angelina looks calm but she’s subconsciously clenching and unclenching her fist. “I can deal with the green ones.” 

Alicia nods and continues working down the line. She has no idea of how much time is passing. Eventually she sees the lime green of healer robes in the corner of her vision when she is closing the eyes of a middle-aged man. There’s a distinctly Diffindo shaped cut on his chest. Alicia knows that she would have been able to save him if she’d seen to him sooner. She pushes the thought to the back of her mind.

Alicia keeps on going through the muggles. The next time she looks up there are more healers around than muggles. Alicia allows herself to relax just the tiniest bit when she sees Winnifred Stratford. The chief healer of the Spell Damage Ward is overseeing the Obliviation of the last few muggles as well as coordinating the clearing of the bodies. 

“Trainee Spinnet!” Stratford calls out and Alicia walks over to the tall, dark-skinned witch. Alicia knows that Stratford is, if not an active member, a supporter of the Order so she’s not worried about having to explain her presence in casual clothes and after her shift has ended hours ago. “Good work. But we’re taking over now. You’ve done enough.” 

Alicia nods but doesn’t leave the warded circle. There are some wounded aurors and members of the Order coming in now and maybe she can help still. Alicia sees Remus Lupin supporting a limping Emmeline Vance towards them. Moody is talking with some aurors Alicia doesn’t know and Oliver is just behind them, holding his hand over what looks to be a broken nose. Alicia meets him halfway, relieved to see another one of her friends.

“Feels like I’ve been mending your broken noses since fifth year.” Alicia says softly and pulls Oliver’s hand away so she can see to it. “Episkey.” The nose rights itself with a satisfying crack. Oliver groans. “Is everyone okay?”

“Yeah. There was no magical activity at Harry’s.” Oliver pulls a face. “Moody’s already told us off and he’s send Tonks and George back again. Apparently we were meant to wait for his say-so before leaving.”

“Who would’ve thought.” Alicia rummages through Mrs Weasley’s first aid bag and extracts some gauze. She wets it with a non-verbal Aguamenti and sets to cleaning Oliver’s face. He flinches at her touch but lets her wipe off the blood. “Have you seen any of the others?”

“They’re fine as far as I know.” Oliver takes the gauze out of her hand. “I can get cleaned up later. Shouldn’t you be seeing to the more urgent cases?”

Alicia looks down. “The healers have taken over. I’d only be needed now for clearing bodies.” 

“Shit. Sorry, Al.” 

“It’s fine. They’ll manage without me. And I’ve not been up for apparating all day and even less now. I’d only get myself splinched.” Alicia does not want to think about her exhaustion too much lest it’ll take over completely. “Is Charlie okay?” She asks before she can bite her tongue. 

Oliver gives her an empathetic smile. “He’s good. Drenched though I can imagine. He’s been dipping in and out of the Thames.” 

“Right.”

Oliver bumps her shoulder with his. “Come on then, Spinnet. Let’s find the others.” 

They have to stop a couple of times because Alicia insists on healing minor injuries that some of the more junior aurors are certain don’t need to be looked at but they eventually find Lee and Charlie who is suffering an enthusiastic drying charm at the hands of his brother Fred. 

“Alright you two?” He calls at them and waves away Fred’s wand. “Thanks for that.” 

Fred shrugs, he is uncharacteristically quiet until Oliver tells him that George is fine but has been send back to Surrey with Tonks. Oliver looks at Alicia sympathetically and then pulls Fred and Lee further away. Alicia feels pathetic. 

“Are you alright?” Charlie asks again, pretending he hasn’t noticed the others giving them space. 

Alicia nods. “Are you?”

“Yeah.” He looks over his shoulder and seeing that Oliver, Fred and Lee have walked off towards the Tate, steps a little closer. “Do you want me to get you out of here?”

Alicia knows that they should really sign off with Moody but their friends can do that for them. “Yes, please.” 

~||~

They appear in Alicia’s flat just a moment later, Alicia clinging on to Charlie’s arm just a little longer than strictly necessary. Charlie doesn’t comment. 

The air in the flat smells a little stuffy and stale. Although Alicia usually enjoys having her own space, she’s spend the last few nights in the flat Angelina shares with Lee on Diagon Alley. 

Alicia inherited the flat from her muggle grandmother. It is tiny and old and still needs a lot of work done to it but it’s hers and she loves it. She’s only moved in a month and a half ago. It is in a block of flats in Hammersmith and Alicia enjoys living in a muggle area. Shacklebolt has told her time and time again to set up anti-apparition wards but Alicia doesn’t want to give up the convenience of apparating straight back home after a night shift and there is no fireplace to get set up on the floo network. The flat is still in her grandmother’s name so that’d have to do by ways of protection. 

“You need to get some rest.” Charlie says softly. 

Alicia nods and lets go of his arm. “Will you stay?” She undoes the button of Ginny’s jeans and starts pulling them down, ignoring how pathetic she is behaving. As if seeing her undress will make him stay. 

“Alright.” Charlie doesn’t take his eyes of hers, graciously ignoring her pitiful attempt of seducing him. “I can read for a bit.” 

~||~

Alicia wakes to the sound of Charlie swearing softly. She yawns and sits up. The sun is high in the sky and after a quick glance at her alarm clock Alicia is surprised that it’s only just gone midday. She isn’t quite sure when they’ve come back from the bridge, but she can’t have slept for more than a couple of hours. Reluctantly Alicia gets out of bed and makes her way to the kitchen where Charlie is trying to make tea under the watchful eyes of Alicia’s cat. 

“Did you put water in?” 

“Of course I have. I’ve seen you do it a hundred times.” Charlie mumbles, his eyes trained on the electric kettle.

Alicia’s flat is one hundred percent muggle and moments like these are why she refuses to change it. Seeing Charlie and her other pureblood friends struggle with simple tasks like turning on an electric kettle never fails to make her smile. 

“Are you going to help me or just stand there?” Charlie turns around and wriggles his eyebrows at her. His gaze briefly flickers down to her bare legs. Alicia forces herself not to read anything into it. 

“Move over then, Weasley.” Alicia gently pushes him out of the way and plugs the electric cord into the outlet. 

Charlie huffs. “Forgot about the electricky.”

“Electricity.” Alicia smiles at him. “You’re lucky you’re cute.” She bites her lip. 

“I suppose you’ll want one as well?” He graciously ignores her blip and opens one of the cupboards to extract two mugs. 

There is a certainty and ease in his movements that Alicia can’t take her eyes off. So she returns to her bedroom to get changed into her own clothes.

Charlie hands her a mug of tea when she gets back. “I’m starving.” 

Alicia gently blows at her tea. “Same.” It’s looks a little too strong and probably won’t be sweet enough, but it’ll take the exhaustion out of her bones.

Charlie is already sipping on his. Alicia is pretty sure that working with dragons has made him resistant to any type of heat. “We should get back to the Burrow.” 

Alicia pulls a face. She isn’t sure whether she is ready to face the aftermath of leaving with Charlie yet. There is only so many sympathetic smiles and gentle pats on the shoulder she can cope with. 

“Yeah.” 

Charlie drains his cup of tea and places it in the sink. He leans back against the small dining table and after trying to pet the cat, who ducks away from under his hand and runs off towards the bedroom, crosses his arms. “Why does he hate me so much?”

Alicia smiled. Charlie just can’t bear an animal not liking him and Alicia’s cat ignoring him is an endless source of frustration for him. “Archibald hates everyone.”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Only because I feed him.” Alicia empties her cup and lets it join Charlie’s in the sink. “Can we side-along?”

Charlie is too nice to say no.

~||~

When she and Charlie walk into the kitchen at the Burrow the atmosphere is dense. Many senior members of the Order are present and Alicia knows that shit has hit the fan when she sees Dumbledore sitting at the head of the table, an untouched cup of tea in front of him. Alicia and Charlie join the twins who are leaning against the kitchen counter. 

“Harry?” Alicia whispers quietly but George shakes his head. 

The kitchen door opens and Moody and, to Alicia’s surprise, her dad’s cousin Amelia Bones, walks in. Moody takes a seat between Mr Weasley and Professor Lupin. Amelia Bones sits down on the empty seat on Dumbledore’s right. She isn’t a member of the Order but their strongest support at the Ministry. 

Dumbledore clears his throat. “Now that we’re all here, we might as well start.” 

“I didn’t know we were meant to have a meeting.” Alicia mumbles.

“They told us after the attack.” George mumbles back, worry in his eyes. “You and Charlie had already left.” 

Alicia blushes, feeling embarrassed. “You could have send a patronus.”

“No offence, but Fred told me you looked like shit. I thought you could use the rest.” 

Dumbledore clears his throat again and Alicia turns her focus back on her former headmaster. 

“Garrick Ollivander and Florean Fortescue have been taken.” Grave silence follows his announcement. “Amelia, if you will.”

Amelia Bones nods. “We assume that they were kidnapped while the aurors were out in force to deal with the attack on the Millennium bridge.”

“Out in force after taking their sweet time.” Hestia Jones huffs from her seat between Emmeline Vance and Bill Weasley. 

“The Death Eaters somehow managed to cut of communications. No owls, patronuses or any other means of alerting the auror department were able to get through. The Unspeakables are looking into it. The same happened at St Mungo’s.” Shacklebolt explains in his deep, calm voice. 

Amelia Bones nods at him gratefully. “We returned to several emergency messages. By the time we got to Diagon Alley, Ollivander’s as well as the ice cream parlour were half-destroyed. Aurors are still there trying to work out what happened.”

After an hour of heated discussion of what their next steps will be, Mrs Weasley starts  
passing around plates of food and everyone spreads out to find a place to eat. Alicia ends up sitting on a bench in the garden with Angelina next to her and Oliver on a turned over bucket across from them.

“I get why they might want Ollivander, but Fortescue?” Angelina says between two bites of Mrs Weasley’s excellent sheperd’s pie. 

“If we didn’t know that they were truly evil before we do now. I mean, you must be if you hate ice cream.” Oliver tries a half-hearted smile.

“Today was awful.” Alicia can’t help but say and instantly kill Oliver’s attempt to lighten the mood. “All these wounded muggles. And the bodies. And still, the worst thing was that I didn’t even have time to worry about you guys.”

“Oh, Al.” Angelina puts her plate down at her feet and embraces her friend. “It truly was awful. But I’m afraid that’s what it’s going to be like for a long while now.”

Oliver sighs heavily. “Can we talk about something else? I know it’s a shit coping mechanism, but can’t we bottle it up for now? I’ve got to go to work in half an hour and really don’t want to turn up crying. Again.”

“I’m sorry.” Alicia eats another piece of her food although she’s not really hungry anymore. “Let’s change the topic.”

Angelina lets go of her. “Alright. I think we should talk about you and a certain Weasley.”

“I don’t think we should.” Alicia puts her plate down and avoids looking at either of her friends. 

“No, Angelina is right.” Oliver angles for Alicia’s plate to finish off her leftovers. “It’s our duty as your best friends to tell you to stop putting yourself through that.”

“Especially since Charlie is too nice to reject you outright. Which isn’t fair, really.” Angelina pulls her legs up and wraps her arms around her knees. 

Alicia sighs. “I’m just pathetic, aren’t I.” She doesn’t let it get to her that neither of her friends disagree instantly.

Alicia curses the day she decided to travel down to the Burrow with Angelina, Lee and some more of their friends after their last N.E.W.T. exam. Despite not graduating themselves, the twins had thrown a party at the Burrow to celebrate. McGonagall had let them all go for the weekend after she’d made them promise not to bring any of the twins’ merchandise back with them. Alicia is certain that McGonagall knew that they’d have to make use of every opportunity to be able to celebrate before the war would start in earnest.

All the Weasleys, apart from Percy, had been there as well as Oliver and some other younger members of the Order like Tonks. Alicia has always had a bit of a crush on Charlie and after one too many firewhiskeys she told him just that. Charlie had been embarrassed at first but also flattered and by the end of the night they were snogging against Mr Weasley’s newly acquired Ford Escort in the shed. 

Then she didn’t see Charlie again until her first order meeting halfway through June. When she moved into the flat in Hammersmith, Charlie showed up with the twins to help her get her stuff set up. He wouldn’t meet her eyes but took advantage of the twins fascination with the telly to explain to Alicia how drunk he’d been and that it hadn’t been a good idea. Alicia had cried the whole night after. 

“You’re not that pathetic.” Oliver claims half-heartedly, which Alicia takes to mean that she is still a little pathetic. “Charlie is a great guy but he’s also out of the country a lot. And older.”

“And embarrassed that we kissed.” Alicia adds primly. “He feels like he needs to be especially nice to me now to make up for it. And I can’t stop myself from taking advantage of it.”

“Oh, Al.” Angelina pulls her close. 

“Ugh, this is stupid. We’ve literally just fought against Death Eaters and now I’m whinging about a boy as if that were more important.”

“Is our brother making you cry again?” Fred asks from behind the bench. Both Angelina and Alicia flinch. He circles them and sits down on the ground next to Oliver. “I wish it were Perce, he’s easier to talk shit about.”

“I don’t think I could stay friends with you, Al, if you’d kissed Percy.” George says and the two young witches flinch again. “Also, you’re so easy to sneak up on.”

“Fuck off, George.” Alicia huffs but scoots over so George can sit down next to her. 

“Sorry, Al. Do you want me to go punch Charlie?”

“Can we talk about something else, please?” Alicia really does not want to have a group discussion about her unrequited feelings.

Oliver takes it upon himself to save his former chaser and starts a tirade about the newest addition to Puddlemere United (“That could have been me, screw you, Moody!”) and soon they are engaged in some enthusiastic Moody bashing that goes on for quite a while. Oliver is the first one to leave as he has work and Angelina follows soon after. Fred goes to get some cake and so it’s just George and Alicia left on the small garden bench.

“Alicia?” George says softly and turns towards her.

“Mmh?” Alicia has her face up against the sun, desperate to get some sunshine before she’ll have to leave for work too.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

Alicia scrunches up her face. “Thank you.”

“It’ll get better, you know.” He bumps his shoulder against Alicia’s. “I know I’m a boy and obviously don’t get feelings and all that, but your feelings are valid. Unfortunately so are Charlie’s and you’re not making it easy for him either.”

“I know.” Alicia sighs. “I just wish he’d say outright that he doesn’t want me.”

George regards her for a moment and Alicia thinks he’s contemplating which words will hurt her the least. “Give it time.”

Alicia never quite finds out whether he means time for Charlie to reject her or something else altogether as Fred returns with several slices of chocolate cake. They tuck in and Alicia feels somewhat comforted by the chocolate.


	2. Chapter 2

Alicia doesn’t like not sleeping in her own bed. Even if this bed is much grander and deeply reminiscent of her bed at Hogwarts. She’s also eaten too much dessert and the sickly sweet treacle tart is laying heavily in her stomach. Alicia sighs and grabs her wand to cast a quick tempus charm. It has just gone two. She’s been tossing and turning for the last two hours. Alicia contemplates going downstairs but she’s worried about being too noisy and somehow waking up Amelia. 

It is all Moody’s fault really. As per usual. He’s keen for the Department of Law Enforcement to release an official warning to the Daily Prophet for all the half-truths and lies they’ve been publishing lately. As he isn’t getting anywhere with persuading Amelia Bones himself, he’s send Alicia to use her family connection to try and get her father’s cousin to agree. There was no use trying to explain to him that Alicia hasn’t really been in touch with her father’s side of the family since his passing when she was still a toddler.   
Despite that, Amelia has been very welcoming all evening but wouldn’t budge on the matter. She is worried that threatening the media will cause an outcry amongst the wizarding community and take away the focus on what was really important: Catching Death Eaters and stopping You-Know-Who. Nevertheless, Amelia has fed her and then even offered for Alicia to stay when it got fairly late. And as Alicia didn’t fancy the multiple apparitions it’d take to get from Somerset all the way back to London she’d agreed. 

Alicia sighs once more. There is no use. She’ll have to sneak down and grab a glass of water. Hopefully stretching her legs a little and getting a drink will help her fall asleep. She throws the blanket back and gets to her feet. Alicia grabs her wand and casts a quiet Lumos. 

Amelia’s house is huge but Alicia has a pretty good sense of direction so she quickly makes it to the kitchen. It is eerily quiet and again, Alicia wonders how the older witch can live by herself in such a big house. Alicia fills a glass with water and then makes her way back upstairs. She doesn’t notice that there is someone else in the room until a gloved hand covers her mouth. Alicia drops the glass, the cool water splashing against her bare feet. The glass doesn’t break but just bounces off the plush carpet. Alicia forgets how to breathe. 

“Shhh.” The figure behind her says. Alicia can feel the soft fabric of robes against her bare shoulders. When she is relieved of her wand, Alicia knows that she might die tonight.

There is a commotion somewhere in the house and the wizard (Alicia is sure it must be, his hand is large and his voice sounds deep) flinches. He moves them out of the light of the open door. 

“Do not make a sound.” The wizard says and lets go of her when Alicia nods. Against all odds she hopes that it’ll be an auror or someone from the Order who’s come to safe her from whatever is happening but of course she turns around to face a Death Eater. He is tall but his robes don’t give anything else about his body away. His mask is a deep black with golden strands running down his face like lightning. It’d be beautiful, really, if it weren’t for the fact that seeing a Death Eater mask this close usually is the last thing you see. The Death Eater is holding his wand loosely in his right hand, not even bothering to train it on her. But there is something in his stance that stops Alicia from taking advantage of him underestimating her. And she can’t see where he’s put her wand. She needs to play for time. It’s her only chance. 

“Who are you?” Alicia obviously can’t make out the Death Eater’s facial expression but by his demeanour he’s clearly exasperated by the question.

“Really?” He snarls and there is something familiar in his tone. “Be quiet.”

Alicia isn’t quite sure why he doesn’t just kill her or drag her downstairs where there are probably more Death Eaters. But whatever his reasons are, Alicia isn’t under any illusions that she might not survive the night. There is a bang going off somewhere in the house followed by a blood curdling scream. The Death Eater turns his face towards the door and Alicia takes her chance. She leaps at him to grapple his wand but before she can get her hands on it, he’s moved to the side. Rather than stunning her, he wraps one arm around Alicia and pulls her close. 

“What the fuck do you think you are doing? Do you know who is in the house with you? Stay the fuck put. They do not know you are here.” 

Alicia freezes. There is a slight hint of panic in his voice. She doesn’t need to guess who exactly is in the house with her. Of course he’d come himself to kill someone as skilled and high ranking as Amelia Bones. Alicia does her best not to hyperventilate. You-Know-Who is downstairs. 

There are heavy footsteps outside the door. “Hey, where are you?” 

The Death Eater freezes. “Hide.” He hisses and pushes Alicia away. 

Alicia just stares until he gives her another push and then she stumbles towards the build-in wardrobe and buries herself behind the row of heavy long robes. She only realises that she has her wand back when she wraps her arms around herself and it’s poking against her shoulder. 

Alicia hears the door opening and shutting again. Her brain is in overdrive. How is she still alive? Why has the Death Eater spared her? Before she can contemplate it further there is another scream. And another and another and another. The screaming goes on for what seems like hours. But the silence after the last scream is almost worse. Alicia sits in the wardrobe for a long time before she cautiously opens the door, her hand shaking like leaves in the wind. 

She is pretty sure that the Death Eaters and You-Know-Who are gone but Alicia does not want to go downstairs. She does not want to find out what’s happened to Amelia Bones. She does not want to see her corpse. Somehow she manages to procure her patronus, a swallow, and sends a message to Moody. Alicia leans against the doors of the wardrobe and is still in the same position when Tonks scoops her up and disapparates with her. 

~||~

The Burrow is eerily quiet but when Tonks opens the garden gate a light goes on upstairs. Moments later the kitchen light comes on and Mrs Weasley, wearing a frilly dressing gown, tumbles out into the garden.

“I just got your patronus.” Mrs Weasley cries out at Tonks and then Alicia is enclosed in her arms. “Oh, my sweet dear.” 

“I’ve got to go back, Molly.” Tonks anxiously bounces on the balls of her feet. “They’ve cast the dark mark. We need to get rid off any evidence that Alicia was there before the aurors arrive.”

Mrs Weasley nods and with a faint plop Tonks is gone. Alicia is numb in Mrs Weasley’s arms. 

“Let’s get you inside.” 

Mrs Weasley half carries, half drags her inside the Burrow and then plonks Alicia down on the living room sofa. Alicia just collapses into herself. 

“Mum?” Charlie’s sleepy voice sounds from the living room door and when he sees Alicia he seems to snap fully awake instantly. “What is going on?”

“Amelia Bones has been murdered. Alicia was there.” Mrs Weasley says quietly and embraces her more tightly. 

“Shit…” He mumbles. 

“I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t do anything. He was there.” She whimpers against Mrs Weasley’s shoulder. “You-Know-Who was there.” 

“Dumbledore needs to know.” Mrs Weasley conjures her patronus and sets it off to get the news to the headmaster. “Alicia, you will stay here tonight. Charlie, can you stay in the twins’ room and give Alicia yours?

Charlie nods and Alicia follows him upstairs, her legs still shaking. She still can’t quite get her head around the fact that she’s been in the same house as You-Know-Who and is still alive. They get to Percy’s old room where Charlie has set himself up. 

“I don’t want to be by myself.” It is true, Alicia doesn’t think she’ll sleep a wink. She’s too scared to be alone again and with Amelia’s screams on repeat inside her head.

“Alicia…” Charlie looks defeated. 

“I can stay in the twins’ room.” Alicia doesn’t think she could sleep with Charlie next to her either. She doesn’t wait for Charlie’s reply but makes her way up to the top floor of the Burrow. For a moment she considers staying in Ginny’s room instead but it is already crammed with Hermione there. 

George is just getting out of the bottom half of the bunk bed he shares with Fred. 

“What’s going on?” He asks sleepily and Alicia quietly tells him. He visibly pales at the mention of You-Know-Who but doesn’t force Alicia to elaborate more than needed. 

“Fuck.” He mumbles when she’s finished. 

“I just don’t want to be alone.” Alicia wraps her arms around herself. 

“Of course. I’ll go squeeze in with Fred.” George gives her a brief embrace and then climbs up to his brother’s bed. 

Alicia climbs into the now vacated bed and takes comfort in the warmth and George’s familiar smell. Eventually exhaustion takes over and she falls asleep.

~||~

Alicia knows that things are dire when Mrs Weasley doesn’t say a word about her sleeping in the twins’ room. She just wakes her up gently to tell her that Moody is waiting downstairs, keen to find out more about what happened last night. Alicia makes a detour to Ginny’s room to grab some clothes. She does not want to sit through a Moody interrogation in her pyjamas. A pair of jeans and a t-shirt later, Alicia sits down across from Moody at the kitchen table. Mrs Weasley is stress-baking and Alicia ignores Charlie looming against the door frame to the living room. 

“Talk me through last night. I want to hear everything, every little detail, no matter how insignificant it might seem to you.” Moody is all business now and horrendously intimidating. 

Alicia starts with her arriving at Amelia Bones’ house just after eight in the evening and finishes with Tonks scooping her up and taking her back to the Burrow. Mrs Weasley drops a mixing bowl when Alicia describes Amelia’s blood curdling screams. 

“You said the Death Eater’s voice sounded familiar?” Moody doesn’t flinch at anything. 

“Yeah. I’m almost positive I’ve heard it before. He sounded young too, so probably someone I went to Hogwarts with.” Alicia is conflicted. She almost feels like she’s ratting him out when he saved her life. Or spared her anyway.

“You’d recognise it if you’d hear it again?” 

“I think so. What about the mask? Can’t we tell who it was by that?” Every time Alicia shuts her eyes she can see the mask in front of her just as Amelia Bones’ screams are a constant ringing in her ears.

“Only that it was a fairly new recruit. Unmarked, I reckon.” Moody taps the table briskly. Once, twice. Then he gets up. “Losing Bones is a big blow.” 

Alicia, who didn’t really know her dad’s cousin at all, feels a bit nauseous at Moody’s words. He’s not sad about losing her as a person, he’s annoyed at losing her as an asset. She can’t help but think about what Moody might have said if Alicia had died last night. Alicia doubts her death would have been a big blow. She’s not an asset. She’s just a first aid kit with a wand. 

~||~

Oliver and Angelina join Alicia and the twins much later that day. They’ve hidden themselves away to the end of the garden and Fred has procured a spliff from somewhere. They’re passing it around, Alicia’s not due back at work until tomorrow night so she’s indulging. And she’s also bloody well deserved it.

“What an absolute shit show of a week.” Oliver pronounces and then lies down next to Alicia, his head resting on her thigh. “First Millennium Bridge and now this.” 

Angelina briefly pats Alicia’s head and then sits down between Fred and George. “The Ministry is on high alert. Everyone thinks they’ll be next.” She graciously accepts the spliff from George. 

“Well, they kind of are. We all are.” Alicia says gloomily. Moody didn’t mention any of this when he recruited her, Angelina and Lee to the Order. Obviously she knew that the situation was serious, but it’s been just so intense. So much has happened in the few weeks since she’s joined. Alicia absentmindedly plays with Oliver’s hair. 

“Do you know who it was?” Oliver mutters up at her and everyone looks at Alicia expectantly.

Alicia shakes her head. “I’ve been thinking about it all day. I’m fairly sure it’s someone who was in my year or just above though.” She lets herself fall back onto her elbows. “I think that whoever it was didn’t quite feel comfortable with offing somebody they know.”

“You don’t have to feel like you’ve got to defend them, Al. Nobody’s forcing them to join literal evil. They’ve made their choice.” Angelina says icily. 

“Right. This is depressing.” Fred claps his hands. “Fuck this. We need a change of scenery.”

“What do you suggest?” George stubs out the spliff, ignoring Oliver’s wince at not having had a drag yet. He vanishes it with a flick of his wand. 

“I suggest copious amounts of alcohol.” Fred gets to his feet, dragging up Angelina with him. “Let’s go to a club.” He grins at Alicia. “A muggle club.” 

~||~

An hour later Alicia has approved all their outfits, making sure that they won’t stand out amongst muggles. They’re in Alicia’s flat, Archibald the cat hiding under the table and hissing at them.

“Your cat is a dick.” Lee, who’s finally gotten off work, hisses back at Archibald.

“Leave him be.” Alicia shakes her head and adds the twins’ wands to her small bag. It’s got an undetectable extension charm on it. They know they can’t risk going to a club, even if it’s muggle, unarmed so Alicia’s looking after her and the twins’ wands and Angelina has got Oliver’s and Lee’s. It’s not ideal should there be an attack but muggle clothes don’t offer a lot of space for wand storage.

“Ready?” Fred, keen to go out, asks. They nod and apparate to a quiet alley just down the road from a bar in Shoreditch. They’ve been there before and it’s as good a starting point for a night out as any. 

Alicia and Lee are the only non-purebloods so they deal with the muggle money and get the first round of drinks. It’s only just gone nine so the bar is still quiet. They get a mixture of shots, cocktails and beers. Two rounds in Alicia stops seeing the Death Eater’s mask every time she closes her eyes. After another round she can’t hear Amelia screams anymore. It’s gone midnight when they get to the club and Alicia lets herself get lost in the bodies grinding on the dance floor. 

“I can’t believe it.” Oliver breathes against her ear at some point during the night. “Look.” He gently turns her face towards the bar. 

Alicia is plastered but she would recognise those three wizards anywhere. Marcus Flint, Adrian Pucey and Miles Bletchley are ordering drinks. In a muggle bar. Wearing muggle clothes. 

“Do you think they’re planning something?” She shouts and as the words leave her mouth it hits her. It is very likely that one of them was the Death Eater from last night. Flint and Bletchley hadn’t been in her year but Pucey had been. Regardless, they all know her from the Quidditch pitch. Not that they had been very bothered about her well-being then. Quite the opposite really. 

“Don’t think so.” Oliver is close again. “I mean, they’re probably Death Eaters in all but the mark, but even without expecting anyone to recognise them, they wouldn’t show up in muggle clothes to blow up a club.” Oliver hiccups. He’s wasted. “I hope. Let’s find the others.”

Angelina is dancing closely with Fred. George and Lee have found a booth at the back of the club. Oliver and Alicia fill them in on their discovery once everyone is seated and they spend a good half hour drunkenly speculating about the Slytherins frequenting a muggle club.

“Just go over and ask them.” Fred suggests. 

“Yeah and admit that I was there whilst I’m doing it. Moody’d have my head.” Alicia feels a little more sober now. She’s also back to Amelia screaming in her head.

“Are we sure they’re Death Eaters?” Lee starts stacking the empty glasses some other people have left behind. “I mean, we went to school with them. They were bad but not like pure evil bad.”

Angelina flicks one of her long braids. “Pretty sure Flint’s always been pure evil bad.”

Oliver snickers. “Word.”

Angelina and Lee share a brief look. “Have you been hanging out with my brother again?” Angelina asks and Oliver shrugs noncommittally. 

“Guys.” George says and they all follow his gaze. 

The three Slytherins have made their way through the muggles on the dance floor. They only need to look to their left and they’ll see them. Bletchley is the first to turn and he almost drops his drink. He elbows Flint who bumps his shoulder against Pucey’s. 

“I think we’ve been discovered.” Fred deadpans. 

The former Quidditch rivals regard each other uneasily. Then the three Slytherins turn away and find a seat at a booth closer to the dance floor. Alicia removes her hand from her bag. She’s had her hand on her wand ever since George had alerted them. 

“Shall we go over?” Oliver asks and receives an elbow to into his side from Angelina.

“I think we should go.” Alicia doesn’t wait for an answer. She gets up and fights her way back through the dance floor towards the doors. Amelia’s screams are louder than the music now. It’s one of them, she keeps thinking. It must be. They’re all of a similar height so there’s no clue there but she’s not sure she even wants to know. She just wants the screaming to stop.

~||~

It’s the first of September when Alicia gets signed over to Spell Damage. It’s a strange day. Alicia wakes up feeling like she ought to be on the Hogwarts Express but she takes the Tube instead. The trainee healers on the fourth floor wear light blue robes and Alicia’s glad to be rid off the pale yellow ones from Magical Bugs. They always reminded her of pee.

Chief Healer Stratford pairs her up with her mentor, a thirty-something witch named Maggie Chambers, who shows her around briefly. Alicia has been to the fourth floor on her induction day back in June but it looks a lot more daunting now that she knows she’ll be let loose on grave injuries soon. Maggie is part of the first response team and mainly deals with injured aurors. Alicia, who did have first response training in June, is ashamed of how much she still doesn’t know. At midday her robes are stiff after yet another quickly applied Scourgify but she can still smell the blood. Alicia supposes there’s a limit to cleaning charms after all. Lunch is interrupted by the news of an attack on muggles up in Lancashire and Alicia waits with the other healers for the patients to be apparated in. It’s never good news when muggles need to be treated at St Mungo’s and when the first muggles come through Alicia swallows heavily. It’s a group of teens, their clothes hanging from their bodies in tatters, blood and dirt everywhere. There are scratches. One boy looks like a piece of his upper arm has been bitten off. Werewolves someone mutters and a trainee healer to her left turns around to throw up in a bin. Alicia compartmentalises and follows Maggie’s orders. 

A week into Spell Damage Alicia starts missing toddlers throwing up on her. After another week Alicia can’t make out the smell of blood anymore and Maggie has to prompt her to clean her robes before she attends the next patient. At the end of September Maggie is transferred to the Curse ward and Alicia goes with her. There’s no open wounds (most of the time anyway) so Alicia doesn’t need to scourgify her robes fifty times a day anymore, a spell she can now cast non-verbally and once she even did it wandlessly. But the Curse ward is the worst place Alicia has ever seen. Every door has a Muffliato applied to it and it’s two weeks into October when Alicia can’t hear Amelia’s screams anymore. One day Madam Pomfrey arrives with Katie Bell and Alicia spends her lunch times sitting at her bedside knowing that she can’t do anything to help her cursed friend. By the third week Alicia wants Amelia’s screams back just so she doesn’t have to hear all the cries they’ve been drowned out by. 

There’s an attack on Diagon Alley on Halloween. Alicia is just about to sign out when the first response team is called to the scene and when Maggie joins them Alicia doesn’t think twice. They side-along into chaos. 

“Fuck.” Maggie swears and Alicia can only nod. Whatever Millennium bridge has been, this is a hundred times worse. Buildings are on fire and Alicia can see Death Eaters apparating in and out of the crowds, cursing people seemingly at random. 

“What do we do?” Not even Alicia can compartmentalise what is going on. She’s torn between wanting to join the fight for the first time in her life and finding the first aid station. 

“We need to find the auror in charge or the first aid station.” Maggie grabs the sleeve of Alicia’s robes and pulls her along. They don’t manage to get trough the masses so Maggie ends up apparating the both of them to just outside of Gringotts where it’s somewhat calmer. They see the warded circle of the first aid station straight away and join the other healers already at work. 

Alicia heals superficial cuts and broken noses. She sends people away who ask about friends and family. She can’t give them an answer. At some point someone hands her a box of portkeys to St Mungo’s and she sends everyone who is too gravely injured along with a prayer on her lips. There’s no time to accompany them but the St Mungo’s portkeys are always objects that can be attached to a piece of clothing or wrapped around an arm or a leg. It’s not the safest mode of transport, especially if you’re already injured, but it’s efficient. 

Alicia works steadily and calmly until an auror drops an unconscious Charlie at her feet. Alicia’s heart just stops. The auror doesn’t say anything but disapparates again straight away. There are still Death Eaters causing havoc. Alicia sinks down to the second oldest Weasley and for a second she can’t feel him breathing. But then he coughs up blood and comes to. Her heart stutters back into action.

“Charlie.” Alicia waves her wand across his face, a diagnostic spell telling her that he’s got a concussion. “Can you hear me?”

Charlie looks at her, his eyes unfocussed. “Spinnet.” He mutters and then coughs up some more blood. 

Alicia runs her hand down the back of his head and it comes back bloodied. She grabs a large piece of cotton from her first aid satchel and presses it against the wound. The diagnostic spell has moved on to the rest of Charlie’s body. He’s got a couple of cracked ribs and a broken arm. Alicia will have to portkey him to St Mungo’s, she can’t deal with any bone damage here. Cracked ribs are always a risk to heal blind, they might be dislodged to the point where they are poking into his organs. If Alicia adjusts them without having another healer run an X-ray charm she runs the risk of puncturing his lungs or even his heart. 

“You’ve got a couple of cracked ribs, Charlie. I am going to attach a portkey to you that’ll get you to St Mungo’s, okay?” She leans over him and quickly heals his head wound. It’s only a superficial gash but head wounds always bleed ferociously. Alicia knows that she’s already spend too much time on Charlie but she’s reluctant to let him go. Travelling by portkey with cracked ribs is agony. 

“Hit a wall.” Charlie mumbles, his eyes still trying to focus on Alicia. “Bloody Death Eater used a Bombarda.”

Alicia flinches. Charlie is lucky to be alive. She represses the urge to pull him close and never let him go so nobody can hurt him again. “I’m going to send you off now, alright Charlie? It’ll hurt like a bitch but there are healers waiting for you.”

Charlie nods weakly and Alicia attaches a tatty looking ribbon to his wrist. The portkey is set to go off thirty seconds after activation. Alicia taps it once with her wand. 

“You’re the best, yeah?” Charlie mumbles. “Bloody brilliant.” 

Something in Alicia’s chest clenches. She leans forward and places a brief kiss on Charlie’s lips. He tastes of blood and ash. When she moves back again Charlie opens his mouth but any words are cut off by the portkey whizzing him away. Alicia gets to her feet and looks up. There’s a Death Eater standing just outside the warded circle. He’s leaning against whatever’s left of the shopfront of Colin’s cauldrons and potion supplies. The lightning like strands of gold down his mask glimmer in the light of the burning buildings. Alicia starts walking towards him, her wand raised. She gets all the way to the edge of the first aid circle before the Death Eater disapparates with a sharp crack. Alicia swears. Somebody calls her name and Alicia gets back to work.

~||~

Two weeks after the Halloween attack on Diagon Alley Alicia visits the Burrow. She’s not been back for a while and is under no illusions that it’s not because she wants to avoid Charlie. Alicia hopes that he was too out of it to remember the kiss. It was a foolish thing to do as well as highly unprofessional. 

Fred is setting the table when Alicia gets to the kitchen. There’s no sign of Mrs Weasley but there are various pots and pans happily cooking away on the stove top so she’s probably just stepped into the garden to get some herbs or vegetables.

“Hey, Al. Can you do the cutlery?” Fred sets down a row of porcelain plates. 

“Sure. How many do we need?” Alicia walks towards the kitchen drawer that holds the Weasley’s silverware. 

“Well, you’re making it five but mum’s said to set the table for ten. There’s bound to be some more people showing up.” 

Alicia extracts ten knifes, forks and spoons. Although they’re all silver, they’ve clearly come from different sets and Alicia smiles when she spots the Hogwarts crest on one of the spoons. She wonders which of the Weasleys nicked it from the castle. 

“How’s the shop?” She asks whilst setting down the cutlery next to where Fred’s already placed the plates.

“Brilliant, actually. We initially thought it’d quieten down with all the students gone up to Hogwarts but there’s actually a surprising amount of grown ups interested in our products.” He grins and waves his wand for a row of glasses to float over to the table. “Our skiving boxes are very popular. I suppose not everyone loves their job as much as we do.”

Alicia places down the last fork in her hand. “That’s good. Have you finished redecorating the flat yet?” 

Fred shakes his head. “We had a pixie infestation so it’s all been pushed back a couple of weeks. I reckon we’ll be in before Christmas though. If mum ever lets us move out…”

“As if you’d ever be able to leave the convenient all inclusive set up you’ve got going on here.” Charlie’s voice rings from the kitchen door as he comes inside followed by his mum. 

“Whatever. Aren’t you meant to be back in Romania already?” Fred rolls his eyes and grabs a handful of napkins to fold. Alicia sits down next to him, studiously ignoring Charlie after she’s given a quick wave to Mrs Weasley.

“I’m leaving later on tonight.” Charlie drops off a basket of apples and then takes a seat across from them. “Alright, Spinnet?”

“Hey.” Alicia focuses on the napkin in her hand. She folds and unfolds it a couple of times. 

“I never got a chance to thank you. For Halloween.” 

Alicia can feel Fred’s thigh sympathetically press against hers and she looks up at Charlie. “No worries. It’s my job.”

“Of course.” He picks up a spoon and idly pats it against the palm of his left hand. “You’re brilliant at it, you know.” 

Alicia worries her lip. “Thank you.” 

“I didn’t particularly enjoy the portkey to St Mungo’s but I suppose that’s what you get for letting yourself get hit by a Bombarda.” He’s still tapping the spoon against his hand as if it’s a morse code he wants Alicia to decipher. But Alicia barley notices. The only thing she’s deciphered is that he was lucid enough to remember the portkey. So he was lucid enough to remember the kiss.

“It’s not ideal.” Alicia clears her throat, the napkin coming apart in her hands. “I’m going to…” She shrugs and gets up to help Mrs Weasley in the kitchen. Fred and Charlie exchange some hushed words but Alicia’s already too far away to make them out.

Mrs Weasley wordlessly passes her a bowl of apples and Alicia starts peeling them. They’re red and soft and Alicia has to handle them delicately so she won’t squash them. 

“Bill and Charlie grew up during the first war.” Mrs Weasley says apropos of nothing. “I tried my best to shelter them from what was going on but not always very successfully.” She takes one of the apples Alicia has finished peeling and cuts it into thin slices. “They’d attended more funerals than birthday parties by the time they finished nursery.” Mrs Weasley waves her wand and the apple slices neatly layer themselves over some pastry in a tattered looking baking tray. “I can’t even count the amounts of time they watched me waiting at the door for Arthur to come home, praying he’d be okay. Charlie was by my side when Moody came to tell me that my brothers had been killed.” Mrs Weasley hovers her knife over the apple she’s been cutting and takes a breath. Alicia’s stopped peeling. She’s never heard Mrs Weasley talk about her brothers before. “Both of them spend a large chunk of their childhood watching people lose family members, friends, partners… Sometimes I can’t help but think it made them shut themselves off somewhat. The twins, Ron, Ginny… They’re all softer. They’re quick to strike up friendships, to let others in.”

Mrs Weasley reaches up to wipe away a single tear. Alicia grabs another apple to peel, she’s not sure how to act. 

“Anyway. They’re good boys.” She tuts at herself. “Men. They’re good men.”

“They are. You can be really proud.” Alicia feels silly saying it, but Mrs Weasley smiles at her warmly.

“I’m proud of you too, Alicia. I remember when you showed up with Oliver and Angelina in the summer after the twins’ first year at Hogwarts. You and Angelina were so tough, not taking any stick from the boys. I’ve loved watching the two of you grow into strong women.” She squeezes Alicia’s arm gently. “Whatever happens, you’ll always be like a daughter to me.” 

~||~

Dinner is a quiet affair, only Tonks and Remus Lupin show up to join them. Tonks looks sullen and Lupin does not say a single word apart from ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. Afterwards the twins rope him into a game of exploding snap but Alicia manages to get away and joins Tonks in the garden. It’s chilly out but nothing a quick warming charm can’t fix. 

“Wotcher, Alicia.” Tonks is sitting on the ground, drawing lines and circles in the sandy earth with her finger. “Didn’t fancy a game of snap?”

Alicia shakes her head and sits down across from her. “Thought I’d join you being mopey instead.” The ground is cold against her butt.

“I’m not mopey.” Tonks gives her a crooked smile. “Apparently I’m irresponsible and selfish.”

“Sounds about right.” Alicia draws a squiggly line. “I’m pathetic and a bad idea.”

Tonks snorts but stops herself when she sees the expression on Alicia’s face. “He did not say that.”

Alicia shrugs her shoulders. “Not in as many words.”

“Idiots the both of them.” Tonks huffs. “I thought we’d gotten somewhere but then Emmeline was killed during that attack on the muggle prime minister. She was a school friend of his, you know. And now I’m stupid to think it’d be worth pursuing something when we’re all going to die anyway.” She flicks an errand pebble towards one of Mrs Weasley’s vegetable beds. “If we’re all going to die then wouldn’t it be better to make the most out of the time we have left?”

Alicia doesn’t really know what to say. She hasn’t been aware that Tonks is in love with Lupin but a lot of the interaction between the two of them makes a lot more sense now. “I suppose.”

“Exactly. I know that I’ll never be like Sirius for him but there’s comfort in companionship.” Tonks’ voice catches a little when she says her dead cousin’s name. “I’m not a fool for trying, am I?”

“You’re not.” Alicia wipes her dusty fingers on her jeans. “We deserve at least a chance.”

Tonks smiles at her. “I like you, Spinnet.” 

Alicia returns her smile. “I like you too. Especially like this, when you’re not throwing stinging hexes at my back.”

The older witch laughs sharply. “It worked though. You ran onto the grass the other day. Even though there was a sign telling you not to.” Tonks looks past Alicia and smiles. “Knew you could be brave.” She stands up and Alicia turns her head to follows Tonks’ gaze. Charlie is walking towards them. “Stay brave, yeah?”

Alicia watches Tonks leave. She exchanges a few words with Charlie as their paths cross. Something she says makes him laugh and he throws his head back. Alicia wishes she’d be able to make him laugh like that. 

“Thought you might be out here.” Charlie takes over the spot that Tonks has vacated. 

Alicia’s back to drawing squiggly lines in the ground, keen to give her hands something to do. She knows she has to address the kiss. It’s not sitting right with her. “I’m sorry about Halloween. Me kissing you. That was wrong. For many reasons. I don’t know why I did it.” She can feel the heat collecting in her cheeks. “I mean, I know why I did it. I just shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

Charlie doesn’t say anything for a while. Alicia can feel his eyes on her but she’s determined not to look up. If she sees that same old look of sympathy in his eyes she’s going to cry. 

“You don’t have to apologise.” Alicia can feel the but coming. It doesn’t. “I’m going back to Romania tomorrow.” He stubs her knee with the tip of his foot. “Can you look at me please, Alicia? I feel kind of stupid talking to the top of your head.”

Alicia slowly lifts her head, hoping she’s not too red. “Sorry.”

“Don’t… Alright. Anyway.” He sighs. “I’m going to Romania tomorrow. I don’t know yet when I can come back again, so I don’t know when I’ll see you next. And…” He stubs her knee once more when Alicia’s head is moving downwards again. Alicia almost yanks it up and pulls a face at the shot of pain through her neck. Charlie looks at her for a long while and Alicia can tell he’s debating with himself about something. “I always remembered you as that stroppy little girl that my brothers used to play Quidditch on the field behind the barn with. The little girl who used to get into shouting matches with Fred about league tables and acceptable beater techniques.” He’s smiling now. “And then you show up at the beginning of summer all grown up and tell me that you fancy me.” 

This is not where Alicia thought the conversation was going. Surely Charlie isn’t so cruel that he would bring up the whole graduation party debacle again. Alicia wants to die. She wants the earth to open up and join the gnomes in their burrows underground. Alicia thinks she’ll be happy there. She’s sure they’ll play Quidditch with her and help her establish an underground Quidditch league. 

“And I do mean it that I shouldn’t have kissed you.” Yeah, Alicia will be perfectly happy living the gnome life. “I was drunk. You were drunk. Merlin, I was feeling you up against my dad’s car.” Charlie nervously runs his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have kissed you but that doesn’t mean that I regret it.” 

“Come on, Charlie. You do regret it.” Anger is replacing embarrassment now. “Just say it. Please stop treating me like I’m going to shatter at your rejection. It’s much worse when you’re being kind to me. When you let me get away with pulling you close and kissing you in the middle of a battle field.”

“I don’t want to reject you.” He shuffles a little closer and Alicia forgets how to breathe. “I don’t want to reject you but I’m not sure whether I can allow myself to let another person in. This…It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better and there are already so many people I worry about.” He gently takes Alicia’s hand from where she’s been drawing squiggly line after squiggly line. “But I already worry about you anyway so…”

“So?” Alicia whispers.

“So let’s talk when I get back, yeah?” Charlie gets to his feet and pulls Alicia up with him. “But now we better get back before the twins have eaten all the apple pie mum’s made.”

He doesn’t let go of her hand until they get back to the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Alicia is late to get home. The healers in charge of Katie have told her that there’s no change in her condition but they’re pretty sure that she can hear people talking to her. So Alicia sits by her bed for hours after her shift’s ended and just talks about everything that crosses her mind. She tells Katie about Oliver getting stuck in an old witch’s fireplace and her feeling him up whilst attempting to pull him free. She tells her about Angelina and Lee repainting their kitchen yellow and Fred making fun of them, saying it looks just like the Hufflepuff common room. She tells her about Charlie still not being back after leaving for Romania almost two weeks ago now. When her voice is hoarse and her throat aches Alicia bids Katie goodnight and promises that she’ll be back tomorrow evening after her shift. 

Alicia gets into a pair of Ginny’s jeans (she really ought to return them) and one of George’s old jumpers in the healers’ changing room. She debates for too long on whether to grab a quick sandwich from the café on the top floor and it makes her miss her train. Alicia swears and wishes she’d just apparated but she thought the fresh air she’d get from walking to the tube stop would do her good. It’s almost eleven by the time Alicia gets to the block of flats. She doesn’t want to think about having to get up in less than five hours for her morning shift. 

As soon as she unlocks the front door Alicia knows there’s somebody in her flat. Her heart starts beating faster and there’s cold sweat on her forehead. Alicia draws her wand and quietly closes the door behind her. Archibald, who usually ambushes her as soon as she comes through the door, is nowhere to be seen. With shaking hands she slowly opens the door to the kitchen come living room. There’s a tall, narrow-shouldered man going through her books on the shelf at the far side of the living room wall. Alicia trains her wand on the back of his head. 

“Bit silly not having wards, isn’t it?” Adrian Pucey says and turns to face her. He’s wearing muggle clothes again, a dark pair of trousers and a grey knitted pullover. Alicia can’t see his wand and he looks unperturbed by hers pointing straight at his face. 

“How did you get in here?” 

Pucey cocks his head at her. “I just told you. You don’t have wards.” He folds his arms. “I literally apparated straight into your living room.” 

“Give me your wand.” Alicia holds out her left hand. 

“Alright.” Pucey rolls up the sleeve on his right arm and draws his wand out of the holster. He holds it out, the wand tip facing away from Alicia. 

Alicia doesn’t put her wand down until she’s got her hand on Pucey’s. She opens a kitchen drawer and puts it in with her cutlery. Pucey watches her with a smirk on his face but doesn’t say anything. 

“Why do you know where I live?” Alicia shoves her own wand into the back pocket of her jeans. Moody’s warning to not do that rings in her head but she ignores it.

Pucey shrugs. “You’re not very difficult to follow.”

“You followed me?” Alicia is tempted to pull her wand back out.

“A couple of times, yeah. Once I knew you lived in this block of flats it wasn’t very difficult to work out which apartment is yours.” He gestures towards Alicia’s sofa. “Mind if I sit?”

Alicia wants to laugh, the situation is just too ridiculous. “Sure. Make yourself at home.” 

Pucey sits down on her sofa, his posture evidencing that he’s not as completely at ease as Alicia initially thought. “Nice place.” He regards her TV with interest. “Very…muggle-y.”

“That’s not a word.” He grins. Alicia turns away from him and grabs the kettle to make herself a cup of tea.

“What are you doing?” Alicia flinches. Pucey is looking over her shoulder. She didn’t even hear him get up. 

“I’m making a cuppa.” 

“Could I have one, please?” He raises his eyebrows expectantly and Alicia is reminded of all the times he glared at her on the Quidditch pitch.

“Sure. Because this is not already ridiculous enough.” She fills the kettle with water and then turns the switch on. Pucey watches intently as it starts to boil. He follows the electric cord with his index finger and Alicia smacks his hand away. “You’ll get yourself electrocuted.” The chances are slim that his magic will react with the electricity but Alicia’s not going to take the chance.

“Sorry.” Pucey steps back. He watches Alicia stand on the tips of her toes to extract two mugs from the top shelf of the cupboard. She places a tea bag into each mug.

“Sugar?” He nods and Alicia adds a spoonful and then another when Pucey asks her to. Alicia fills the mugs with water when it’s finished boiling. She lets the tea steep and gets a carton of milk out of the fridge. After depositing the tea bags in the bin under the sink she adds milk without bothering to ask Pucey how he takes his tea. It’s not like he’s a guest.

“No saucer?” He asks when she hands him one of the mugs. 

“I’m afraid not, your Highness. I’m fresh out of saucers.” Alicia walks past him and sits down on the sofa, pulling her legs up with her. She flinches and takes her wand out of her jeans pocket. She knew there was another reason not to shove your wand down your trouser pocket apart from running the risk of cursing your butt cheek off. 

Pucey sits down a little further away from her, his back ramrod straight against the back of the sofa. “Well, this is cosy.” 

Alicia snorts. “Oh do fuck off, Pucey.” 

They sit in silence for a while. Alicia can hear him faintly blowing on his tea to cool it. Alicia just stares at hers as if trying to make it cool down by sheer force of will. She flinches when Archibald meows at her feet. The cat jumps onto the sofa and bumps his head against her leg. Alicia absentmindedly pets him. Her half-hearted attempts are not up to his standard though so he bites her finger. Alicia swears and Pucey snickers softly. 

“What’s his name?” 

“Archibald.”

“My grandfather is called Archibald.” Pucey sips on his tea. “He’s not very nice.”

“Well, neither’s my cat so…” Alicia shakes her head abruptly. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

Pucey sips on his tea a bit more before answering. “Can’t really confirm that, I’m afraid.”

“Why didn’t you…” Alicia isn’t sure how to continue that sentence but Pucey understands regardless.

“It just… We went to school together.” He leans forward and places his half empty cup on a coaster. Archibald watches him with suspicion. 

“Right.” Alicia puts her mug away, she suddenly doesn’t feel like she’ll be able to stomach anything. There’s a ringing in her head that has the old familiarity of Amelia’s screams to it. “I thought I was going to die.” 

“It wasn’t a great night for anyone involved.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Alicia turns her upper body towards Pucey. “You watched someone get murdered.”

“Eventually, yeah. There was quite a bit of torture before that.” Pucey’s voice sounds almost bored and Alicia feels like throwing up. 

“What are you even doing with them?” Alicia worries her lip. “You never came across like a pureblood extremist to me. Back in school. You even played a fair game. Unlike your team mates…”

Pucey shrugs. “People change.”

“Not like that they don’t. People don’t just leave school and join a megalomanic murderer. They don’t go from Transfiguration lessons to torture.” 

“You do not even know me, Spinnet. We shared two classes and played Quidditch against each other. Spare me the psychoanalysis.” Pucey flinches when Archibald jumps onto the sofa and tentatively crawls onto his lap. “Is he going to bite me too now?”

Alicia shrugs. “No idea. He’s never tried climbing onto my lap.” 

“Great.” He awkwardly pets Archibald’s head. “There, there. Good cat.”

Alicia bites down a snicker. “Merlin, this is so strange.”

“Quite.” Pucey scratches Archibald behind his ears and the cat starts purring. Bloody traitor, Alicia thinks. “I don’t know why I came here.”

“Why did you go to that muggle club? Back in the summer?” 

“Why did you?” Pucey leans forward to get his mug back but freezes when Archibald makes a growling noise. Alicia sighs and grabs his mug for him. “Thank you.” He takes a sip. “We went to get drunk.”

“At a muggle club?”

“Why not. The drinks are cheaper and the music is better.” 

Alicia huffs. “As if any of you would need to worry about how much you pay for a pint.” 

“Just the music then.”

“Do you always wear muggle clothes?” Alicia gestures at his pullover and jeans. “Can’t imagine that’d go down well with your evil overlord.”

“I think he has got bigger things to worry about than what we wear.” He strokes down the length of Archibald’s back until he starts purring again. “That is not an admission about anything by the way.”

“Sure.” Alicia plays with the hem of her jumper. She’s still facing Pucey and he’s watching her fiddle with a thread that’s coming loose. “Thank you for saving me.”

Pucey shrugs. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“Was it you outside Colin’s cauldrons on Halloween as well?” 

“Sorry, Spinnet. No clue what you mean.” He smiles down at Archibald. “Pretty sure I was out trick and treating on Halloween.”

“You ar-“ Alicia’s cut off by a wolf patronus shooting into her living room through the window. 

“Jordan’s been cursed. Headquarters. Now.” Lupin’s voice comes out of its ghostly snout. 

Alicia swears and jumps off the sofa. Pucey gingerly removes Archibald from his lap. 

“I knew it. You’re with the Order.” He says and Alicia can hear something akin to worry in his voice. 

“Can’t confirm that, I’m afraid.” Alicia grabs her wand. “I need to go. And so do you.” She walks into the kitchen and removes his wand from the cutlery drawer. 

“Thanks for the tea.” Pucey takes his wand back from her and with a sharp crack he’s gone. 

Alicia stares at the empty spot he’s left behind. Then she spins on her foot and disapparates. 

~||~

The moment Alicia appears on the front steps of Grimauld Place the door opens and a deadly pale Charlie pulls her into the building.

“What’s happened?” Alicia almost stumbles over her own feet trying to keep up with him.

“Lee and Fred were on Knockturn Alley and a couple of Death Eaters showed up.” Charlie pulls her into one of the downstairs sitting rooms. 

Alicia can smell the blood instantly. Lee is thrashing on the floor, Lupin’s doing his best to get the blood cleared from his body to work out where he’s bleeding from. Fred is just staring at them, muttering unintelligible words under his breath.

“There’s something wrong with his leg.” Charlie says as he’s sinking to the floor to hold the younger wizard down. “Something’s moving in there.”

Lee screams and Lupin looks close to stupefying him.

“Don’t!” Alicia shouts. “We don’t know what he’s been hit with. A Stupefy might interact with it.” 

Lupin nods. “I’m not going to heal any wounds until you’ve looked at his leg then.” He continues siphoning the blood off Lee’s face and upper body. 

“Charlie, can you hold his legs down please?” Alicia asks and then kneels by Lee’s feet. She uses a careful Diffindo to cut open his trouser legs and pales when she sees the black shadow underneath Lee’s dark skin. If it weren’t for how it raises the skin where it moves, Alicia wouldn’t be able to see it at all. “What the…” The movement is only under the skin of his left calf but it’s slowly making its way upwards. 

“Have you seen anything like it before?” Lupin asks and Alicia shakes her head. 

“I need to stop it from getting to any vital organs.” She doesn’t say heart and she doesn’t need to say how she’ll stop it. She doesn’t need to. Charlie’s already unbuckling his belt and then wraps it around Lee’s left thigh. He tightens it and Lee groans. 

Fred is muttering louder now. He’s leaning over Alicia’s shoulder. “He’s going to lose his leg. Fuck. He’s going to lose his fucking leg.” 

Alicia’s breath starts to quicken. Fred’s right. She’s got no bloody clue what to do and Lee is going to lose his leg. And she’ll have to amputate it. She will have to cut off Lee’s leg.

“Alicia.” Charlie grabs her by the shoulders, letting go of Lee for a moment. Lupin stops cleaning his face and holds him down instead. “Listen to me. You can do this. Think. You know what to do.”

“He’s going to lose his fucking leg.” Fred’s still saying, his voice going shrill.

“Shut the fuck up, Fred.”Charlie snarls and his brother falls silent. “Alicia, you can do this.”

“Right.” Alicia waves her wand over his leg for a diagnostic spell. She doubts it’ll tell her anything useful but it’s something to do. “The curse… Fred, what did it look like?”

Fred’s frozen into place.

“Fred!” Charlie barks again.

“I…I didn’t really see it. A bit like Aguamenti. It hit his ankle and leg like a splash of water.” Fred is wide-eyed.

“Right.” Alicia watches Lupin who’s gone back to siphoning the blood off Lee’s face. “Right…” Her brain is going at a hundred miles an hour. “I…” 

“Alicia, he’s losing a lot of blood from his head wound. You can’t keep the tourniquet on for much longer.” Lupin says calmly.

“Don’t rush her.” Charlie glares at the former professor. “Alicia, just do what you think is right. Trust yourself.”

Alicia nods. If she doesn’t try something soon Lee will lose his leg. Lupin siphons some more blood. “Oh.” Alicia places her wand where she can feel the movement most. “Hold him tightly now.” She makes a small cut and then holds her wand against it. “Tergeo!” For a moment nothing happens but then her charm takes and whatever is in Lee’s leg is moving towards her wand. She can feel it fighting back but she doesn’t lose focus. Slowly but surely she’s siphoning the black matter into her wand. Lee thrashes wildly now, Charlie and Lupin have their hands full holding him down. Alicia uses the siphoning charm for what feels like ages but can surely only be seconds. Lee screams one more time and then goes slack. 

“I…I think I got it all.” She sinks back onto the heels of her feet. 

Lupin starts healing the various cuts and gashes on the rest of Lee’s body. Charlie transforms an ornate bowl into a glass vial. He passes it to Alicia who forces the black liquid out of her wand. She’s never seen anything like it before. Charlie puts a number of protection and sealing charms on it before he slides it into his pocket.

“You saved him.” Fred mutters and suddenly he’s clinging onto Alicia, almost suffocating her with his embrace. “You are fucking brilliant!”

“Fred.” Alicia pushes him away. “Are you hurt?” 

The twin shakes his head. “Just some scratches.”

Lupin has finished healing Lee and uses a charm to float him onto the sofa. “Did you hear the incantation of that spell, Fred?”

“No, sorry.” Fred gets to his feet and holds out a hand for Alicia. She takes it and her head spins a little when she’s upright. Fred steadies her. “It all happened so fast.”

“Why didn’t you go to St Mungo’s?” Alicia really wants to slap her friend. “He could have died. I am not a bloody healer yet.”

“But you did it.” Fred has the decency to at least look guilty.

“Only because Lupin’s siphoning spell gave me the idea.” 

Lupin shakes his head. “It’s done now. I need to speak to Moody. It looks like the Death Eaters have taken up developing new curses again.” He turns to Charlie. “Better give me that vial. Maybe Severus or Dumbledore will be able to make something of it.”

Charlie hands him the vial. “We’ll have to inform the others how Alicia managed to get rid of it.”

“There’s probably a better way.” Alicia sits down on the sofa by Lee’s feet. 

“It’s simple and effective.” Lupin puts his hand on her shoulder as he walks past. “Well done, Alicia.”

“It was a liquid that hit him?” Alicia asks and Fred nods. “If it’s a liquid spell then maybe an Impervius will protect you from it entering your body in the first place.”

Lupin considers that for a moment. “Might work. I’ll confer with Severus and Dumbledore.” He nods towards Lee. “You should get him to the Burrow.”

Fred takes Lee side-along after Lupin’s left. Alicia’s still sitting on the sofa, too tired to move. Charlie’s clearing the blood off the carpet. 

“I can’t believe how panicked Fred was. Luckily Remus and I were here to sort out a boggart in the attic.” He mutters. 

“Lee’s his best friend.” Alicia shuts her eyes for a moment. Charlie doesn’t say anything but she can feel the couch sink in a little when he sits down next to her. “But maybe he needs to learn how to compartmentalise.”

“You were brilliant. Again.” His voice sounds really close. “You’re an amazing healer.” 

“Not a healer yet.” Alicia doesn’t want to open her eyes. Charlie’s shoulder comes to rest against hers. “You helped me stay focussed.” 

“You could have done it without me.” Charlie’s moving again and then his hand is brushing the side of her face. He’s cradling her cheek and turning her face towards him. 

Alicia opens her eyes. He’s really close. “You’re back.” It comes out as a whisper.

“I’m back.” He leans even closer. 

Alicia’s heart is suddenly in her throat and then his lips are on hers. They’re chapped and a little rough and kind of taste of blood but it doesn’t matter because this is Charlie. His tongue brushes her lower lip once but then he breaks away from her. 

“We should talk first.” Charlie says but doesn’t look like he means it. 

“Pretty sure we just did.” 

Charlie smiles. “Nice try, Spinnet.” He lets go of her cheek. “Are you working tomorrow?”

Alicia casts a quick tempus charm. It’s almost one in the morning. “I’m due at work in four hours.” She groans. 

“Right. You should definitely get into bed then.” Alicia raises an eyebrow. “Alone.” Charlie adds but there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Okay. Can you side-along me? I’m shattered.” 

Charlie clears his throat. “Only if you really can’t apparate yourself.” Alicia frowns and Charlie smirks. “I don’t trust myself to leave.”

Alicia can feel the heat rush into her face. “I should be okay.” She says although she wants Charlie to apparate them and then not leave. But she’s also exhausted and pretty sure she looks disgusting. 

They walk to the front door together. Charlie places a gentle kiss on her forehead and then they disapparate. Charlie back to the Burrow and Alicia to her empty flat. Archibald just hisses at her when she gets in. On the way to the bedroom her eyes fall on the two half empty mugs on her coffee table. She’d already forgotten about Pucey. Alicia swears softly. She strips her clothes off and crawls into bed. Alicia dreams of making endless cups of tea whilst Pucey is thrashing on her kitchen floor, bloodied and screaming for Alicia to give him a saucer already.

~||~

Alicia is knackered by the time her shift finishes at seven the following evening. Still she spends an hour talking to Katie after. There are flowers on the little table next to her bed and she’s smiling when she sees that the card has been signed by almost all of the members of the DA. Alicia wonders whether Harry is running the lessons again. Merlin knows, they’ll all need them with what’s been going on.

There’s no way Alicia is braving the tube tonight so she helps herself to a pepper-up potion and then apparates into her living room. She isn’t even that surprised that Pucey is sitting on her sofa. He’s reading one of her books and Archibald is purring on his lap.

“Enjoying yourself?” Alicia doesn’t wait for his answer and walks straight past him into her bathroom. She shrugs out of her robes and then splashes cold water on her face. She really hasn’t got the energy to deal with Pucey again tonight. It’s obvious that he’s come back to spy on her now that he’s sure she’s part of the order.

Alicia ignores him when she leaves the bathroom. He’s put the book down (some muggle romance novel) and Alicia can feel his eyes following her. She opens one of the kitchen drawers and rifles through the take-away menus until she finds the one she wants. Alicia unhooks the phone from its place on the kitchen wall and rings her favourite pizza place. 

Pucey gently removes Archibald from his lap and then comes to stand next to Alicia. He picks up the menu gingerly and frowns. 

“Hey, it’s Alicia.” Pucey’s frown deepens. “Yeah, good, you?” Alicia takes the menu out of his hands. “Really?”

“What are you doing?” Pucey looks completely flabbergasted.

“Ordering pizza.” Alicia laughs. “No, sorry Mario, I was talking with my…I was talking to someone I used to go to school with.” 

“Who is Mario?” 

“Shut up.” Alicia turns away from him. “Sorry about that. Mhmm…yeah. He’s a bit slow.” 

Pucey pokes her in the back with one of his long, slim fingers. “Don’t tell Mario that.”

Alicia faces Pucey again. “Can I get a Margherita with extra cheese, please?” She waves the glossy menu towards Pucey. “What do you want?” 

“I have no idea what is going on.”

Alicia rolls her eyes. “And a Veggie Supreme for Pucey, please.” She frowns. “I don’t know if he’s Italian.”

“I am.” Pucey’s face lights up. “Tell Mario that.”

“He is Italian.” Alicia cocks her head at Pucey. “I don’t know, Mario, I’m not really friends with him… Alright.” Alicia holds the receiver out to Pucey. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Mario? But how…?” He takes the receiver when Alicia pushes it towards him. “He..Hello?”

Alicia snickers but abruptly stops when Pucey starts talking in rapid-fire Italian. Well, at least Alicia thinks it is, she doesn’t speak it. Pucey looks completely different when he speaks what is probably his mother tongue. He’s gesturing enthusiastically and there’s a smile on his face. 

Pucey has to poke her with the receiver, Alicia is so entranced with watching him that she didn’t even realise it when he stopped. “Mario wants to talk to you again.”

She takes the phone out of Pucey’s hand. “It’s Alicia again…Alright, thanks Mario.” Alicia hangs up.

“I’ve never used one of these before.” Pucey touches the phone briefly. “A teller phone.”

“Telephone.” Alicia moves away a little. “Right. Tea.” She doesn’t even ask Pucey and just makes him a cuppa.

“So Mario is your friend then?” Pucey’s remembered where she’s keeping the milk and gets it out of the fridge. Alicia doesn’t know how she feels about him knowing that.

“Not really. He owns a pizza place down the road.”

“Right.” 

Alicia adds hot water and watches the tea steep. “What did you talk to him about?”

Pucey shrugs. “He said he got a cousin in Kent whose family name is also Pucey. Thought we might be related.”

Alicia huffs. “Wouldn’t that be something. Your lovely pure blood tainted by an unknown muggle branch of the family over in Kent.”

“I’ve got a second cousin who is a squib down that way so it’s not that far of a stretch, actually.” Pucey adds the milk once Alicia’s removed the tea bags. She can’t help but notice that he adds just the right amount of milk to her mug so it looks like the one she had last night. Alicia adds sugar to both.

“You don’t make any sense, Pucey.” Alicia takes her mug and goes to sit down on the sofa.

Pucey joins her. He’s looking a lot more relaxed tonight. “I think I make plenty of sense.”

“Whatever.” 

They sit in silence for a little while. Archibald meows in demand of Pucey’s attention and he pets the cat gingerly. 

“I thought I’d be in Azkaban by now.” Pucey says.

Alicia sips on her tea. It’s still boiling hot and she can feel her tongue go fuzzy. She puts the mug down. “What do you mean?”

“When I left yours last night I realised how stupid it was for me to come to your flat.” Pucey shrugs. “I was sure you’d tell somebody.”

“Tell them what?” Alicia knows what he means but she wants him to say it.

Pucey looks at her side-ways. “I’m not going to say it, Spinnet.”

“Alright.” She leans over to pet Archibald but then doesn’t when she realises that she’s going straight for Pucey’s crotch. “I probably should have.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“It’s my word against yours.” 

He shakes his head at that. “It’d be enough to launch an investigation.”

“Merlin. Do you want me to tell somebody?” Alicia leans forward to grab her mug to give her hands something to do. “You saved me that night.” The door bell rings. It’ll be Mario with the pizzas. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

Alicia sets her mug down and grabs her purse on the way out. Mario is halfway up the second flight of stairs already and meets her in the hallway outside her flat.

“Someone left the main door open again.” He hands her two pizza boxes and accepts the twenty pound note Alicia gives him in return. 

“Probably one of Mrs Macmillan’s boys. They never shut it properly.” She shakes her head at the change in Mario’s hand. 

“Cheers, Alicia.” He pockets it again. “So…you and Mr Pucey, ey?”

“He’s a friend from school, nothing more.” Alicia pulls a face. Mario is always way too invested in her personal life. Maybe it’s time to find a new pizza delivery place.

“Is he hot? He sounds hot.” He grins. “And very posh, too.”

“He…” Alicia furrows her brows. “I suppose he’s good-looking. And definitely posh.”

Mario looks pleased. “Knew it. Well, have fun with your hot posh friend from school.” 

Alicia rolls her eyes and turns back around towards her flat. Pucey is leaning against the door frame and watching her with a raised eyebrow. Alicia swears under her breath.  
She pushes past him into the flat.

“You’re good with no plates?” Alicia walks back to the sofa and places both cartons on the coffee table. 

“Sure.” Pucey grins. “I’m not too posh to eat pizza with my hands.”

Alicia can feel herself blush. “I didn’t…” She shakes her head. “Whatever. This one’s yours but I’m happy to swap if you don’t like it.”

“No, that’s fine. It’s a good-looking pizza.”

“You know what, Pucey, just fuck off, will you?”

Pucey laughs and helps himself to a slice of his Veggie Supreme pizza. “This is really good.” He says after taking a bite.

“Mario makes the best pizza in London.” Alicia is almost done with her first slice. She’s only had half an egg and cress sandwich at lunch as she got called to an emergency ten minutes into her lunch break. 

“Do you get a lot of food delivered?” 

If it weren’t for the genuine interest in his voice, Alicia would be annoyed at the question. “Kind of. Mainly when I’m on day shifts and too tired to cook or go to the Burrow for dinner.”

“That is where the Weasleys live, isn’t it?”

Alicia nods. “A lot of us from the…” She clears her throat and takes another slice of pizza. “From the old Gryffindor Quidditch team go there for food.”

Pucey raises an eyebrow at her. “Well that was a pretty pants attempt of not saying the Order of the Phoenix.” 

“Whatever.” 

“Which one was the one you kissed on Halloween? It was a Weasley, wasn’t it?” 

“I knew it was you that night.” Alicia wipes her greasy fingers on one of the napkins that Mario provided them with before taking a sip of her tea. 

Pucey shrugs. “It wasn’t one of the twins, was it?”

“So what if it was? What’s it to you?” Alicia’s gone defensive at the tone of Pucey’s voice.

“Nothing, obviously. I just didn’t think you’d go for someone like Fred or George.”

“What do you know about who I’d go for?” 

Pucey helps himself to a slice of Alicia’s pizza. “Nothing, obviously.”

They finish the rest of the pizza in silence. Alicia vanishes the empty pizza boxes and she realises that she never asked Pucey to hand over his wand. Moody would have a field day if he’d ever find out. Alicia thinks it’d probably be a bit weird to ask him for it now. He’s not hexed her yet and it seems unlikely he’ll do it now that she bought him food.

“Do you want another cup of tea?” She asks instead of asking for his wand.

Pucey shakes his head. “No, thank you.” He casts a quick tempus charm. “I’ve got to go actually.” 

“Got a date with evil?”

He smirks. “Something like that.” He stands up and brushes some crumbs from the pizza crust off his trousers. 

“Right.” Alicia stands up as well and they awkwardly walk to her front door together. 

Pucey turns towards her and there’s an odd expression on his face. “Spinnet, I…”

“You owe me a tenner for the pizza.” She cuts him off. Whatever he’d planned on saying was probably Death Eater related and she doesn’t really want to hear it. She feels torn enough already.

“A tenner?” He frowns. “What is that?”

“Ten pounds. As in muggle money.” 

“Right.” Pucey reaches into his pockets. “I don’t have any muggle money on me but I’ve got galleons.” He retrieves a small pouch made of moleskin. “There you go. Ten galleons.” He holds the pile of gold out to her.

“Jesus, Pucey. Ten galleons is like fifty quid.” 

“Quid?” He looks completely lost now.

“You know what, Pucey, just forget it. Dinner was on me.” Alicia pointedly opens her front door. 

Pucey walks out into the hallway. “Thank you.” He walks a few steps but then turns back around before Alicia can shut the door. “Spinnet?”

“Yeah?” 

“Who is Jesus?”


	4. Chapter 4

Alicia is cold and uncomfortable. The warming charm she’s set about half an hour ago is fading slowly but surely and Alicia can’t be bothered to refresh it. She opens her mouth to ask Tonks to cast a new one as hers are better anyway but then she remembers that Tonks is currently not speaking to her. Only because Alicia dared to complain about the uncomfortable spot Tonks has chosen for their surveillance of Borgin and Burkes. So what if Tonks has been stuck in the same spot for five hours and Alicia not even half an hour yet?

“Tonks.” Tonks shushes her which Alicia ignores. “I’m sorry for whinging.”

“You should be.” The older witch rolls her eyes but then casts a new warming charm without needing to be prompted. “Better?”

Alicia nods. “Thank you.” She leans forward a little. They are perched against the front of a dilapidated building almost completely opposite the dark artefacts shop. Moody has set up a strong disillusionment charm and Tonks’s been casting privacy charms at set intervals. Nothing’s been happening so far but ever since the attack on Lee and Fred a few nights ago, Moody wants Knockturn Alley, and especially Borgin and Burkes, watched. The members of the Order are taking turns and whilst Tonks is almost done, Alicia has another five hours of surveillance ahead of her. She’s already bored. “Anything new with you and Professor Lupin?”

Tonks shakes her head. “He’s still adamant that he’s too old and dangerous for me.” She waves her wand and Alicia can feel another privacy charm settle over them. “Molly said that maybe I should leave him be for a while. Give him time to think about it.”

“Maybe.” Alicia picks at a scab on the back of her hand. Archibald’s scratched her this morning when she had to move him to be able to get out of bed. Bloody cat. Thinking of Archibald makes her think of Pucey. Pucey and his bloody smirk. “I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.”

“I don’t know. He’s so reluctant of letting someone in again after losing everyone he’s ever cared about.” Tonks sighs heavily. “I do understand why but also I don’t?” She cocks her head at Alicia. “Do you get what I mean? I just don’t want to wait until this is all over.”

“I do get it. Carpe diem and what not.”

“Of course you get it. You’re kind of in the same situation with Charlie, aren’t you?”

Alicia bites her lip. Tonks is right. Alicia’s almost forgotten about their kiss at Grimauld Place. She huffs. Nobody can blame her really for forgetting about a kiss when you’ve got a Death Eater showing up in your flat. Even if said Death Eater has only been petting her cat and drinking her tea. 

“Alicia?”

“Uh yeah. Same situation.” She twirls her wand in her hand. Bloody Pucey. 

“Have you spoken to him yet?” 

Alicia shrugs. “Not yet, really.” She tells Tonks about healing Lee at Grimauld Place and how Charlie’d kissed her after. “I was busy with work so I’ve not seen him since.”

“But that sounds really good, Alicia.” Tonks bumps her shoulder against Alicia’s. “I knew he liked you. And you really like him too, don’t you?” 

Alicia nods. Of course she really likes Charlie. She’s had a crush on him ever since the summer after fourth year. They’d played Quidditch at the Burrow and Charlie had been back for a couple of weeks from Romania. Alicia usually has a pretty low opinion of Seekers but they’d played shirts versus skins and well, a shirtless Charlie was more than fifteen year old Alicia had been able to handle. “I do really like him.” She says, feeling the need to say it out loud to make sure that Tonks knows she really means it. Definitely not to convince herself.

“Good.” Tonks stretches. “You’ll be happy about who’s taking over from me then.”

Alicia frowns. “What do you mean taking over?”

“Taking over my post now. I’ve been here long enough already and I think I deserve to go to bed.” Tonks casts a tempus charm, it’s almost midnight. “He’ll be here in a minute.”

“Who?”

“Charlie.” She laughs quietly. “Merlin, you’re slow tonight.” 

“Oh.” Suddenly Alicia feels nervous. There’s not a lot of space under the disillusionment charm and the thought of sitting shoulder to shoulder with Charlie for the next five and a bit hours makes her blush. 

“Don’t get nervous now, Spinnet.” Tonks gets up and stretches like cat. She looks down Knockturn Alley. “Here he comes.” Tonks grins at Alicia. “Be brave.”

Alicia watches Tonks walk towards Charlie and tell him where Alicia is sitting under the disillusionment charm. 

“Alright, Spinnet?” Charlie lets himself sink down beside her. 

Alicia casts another privacy charm. She forgot to ask Tonks about the intervals but she’ll just cast them whenever she thinks about it. “Hey.”

“Everything been alright?” Charlie lets his knee settle against Alicia’s. 

“Yeah, nobody’s been in or out.” 

“Good.” Charlie links his arm under hers and entwines their hands. His hand is warm, Alicia knows hers is ice cold. “And you? Have you been alright?”

She nods. “Yeah. Work is calming down a little. Maggie says it’s always like that this time of the year before it picks up again in the run up to Christmas.”

Charlie detangles his fingers from hers and then turns Alicia’s hand around so her palm is facing upwards. He holds her around the wrist and gently draws circles across the palm of her hand with his thumb. It’s an innocent enough caress but Alicia’s mouth goes bone dry. His thumb is callused but so’s her hand from years of playing Quidditch. There’s suddenly so much heat in her body that Alicia doesn’t think she needs a warming charm anymore.

“Bill was meant to take over from Tonks but I swapped with him.” He slightly increases the pressure and Alicia feels embarrassed that she’s getting turned on by a slowly moving thumb over the palm of her hand. “I really wanted to talk to you.”

“Talk to me…” Alicia repeats dumbly, her brain not quite working. She can’t take her eyes off Charlie’s thumb moving over her hand.

“Yeah.” He chuckles softly and the vibrations of his laugh against her don’t do anything for her to feel less turned on. “Well, I really want to do other things but definitely talk first.”

Alicia clenches her thighs together but the rush of pleasure burning through her body at the feel of that makes her stop almost instantly. She is not going to get herself off whilst staking out a shop on Knockturn Alley. Charlie’s thumb be damned.

“Let’s talk then.” She somehow manages to say without sounding too breathless. 

“Alright.” Charlie shifts but doesn’t stop moving his thumb. “I like you.”

“But?”

Charlie chuckles again. “No but.” 

“If there’s no but then why did you say that kissing me at that party had been a bad idea?”

“Because it was. Just as liking you is a bad idea.”

Alicia pulls her hand away. She needs to be able to focus or Charlie will just talk circles around her and she’ll be even more confused than she already is. “Sounds like a pretty big but to me.”

“Alright, yeah. Maybe.” Charlie sighs.

“I know it’s not ideal with the war going on but…”

“It’s not the war.” Charlie cuts her off. “Well, not just the war.” He sighs again. “Have you had a boyfriend before, Alicia?”

Alicia blushes furiously. Well, this is mortifying. She wonders whether there are gnomes underneath Knockturn Alley that would take her in. “No.” She says quietly.

“That’s what I thought.” Charlie says so gently that Alicia can’t possibly be offended. And yet she is. “Being someone’s first boyfriend is never easy. And the war is obviously not making it any easier. Neither is you being one of my brothers’ best friends.” He stretches out his legs. “They’re already pissed off at me for not asking you out yet. I don’t even want to know what they’ll be like if I don’t manage to live up to your expectations of what a boyfriend should be like.”

“Right.” Alicia wants to tell him that she doesn’t have any expectations and that he won’t do anything wrong. Because it’s Charlie and Charlie even contemplating wanting to be her boyfriend is the best thing in the world. Even if he doesn’t have a clue how she likes her tea. Even if he doesn’t speak Italian. Alicia frowns. She has no idea where that thought came from.

“And then there’s the whole me living abroad thing.” 

“But you’re back a lot.” Alicia casts another privacy spell. The old one probably still holds but you never know. And it gives her something to do.

“On Order business. Do you really want a relationship where all the time we spend together is made up of staking out dodgy shops under a disillusionment charm?”

Alicia thinks of making cups of tea and eating cheesy pizza. She shakes her head to get rid of the unwanted picture in her head. “But it won’t always be like that.”

“No, it won’t. But then it’ll be me back in Romania full-time.”

“Ergo a bad idea.” 

“Exactly.” 

“So why-“ 

Charlie cups her face between his hands and Alicia forgets what she wanted to say. He presses his lips against hers and gently prods them with his tongue. Alicia opens her mouth to let him in. Blood’s rushing to her head and heat’s rushing towards her crotch. Charlie’s kissing her deeply, his hands not moving away from her face. Alicia forgets all about cups of tea and cheesy pizza. Charlie’s kiss is making her think that Romania doesn’t sound that bad of a place at all. Then he’s placing gentle kisses down the line of her jaw, along her neck and buries his head against her whilst sucking on the soft spot just underneath her ear. Alicia signs herself up for a life of shovelling dragon dung. 

~||~

Alicia is off work the day after Knockturn Alley and she’s planning on spending it watching TV and thinking about Charlie’s lips on hers. There hadn’t been any activity at Borgin and Burkes but they both knew that Moody would have their heads if they would just snog rather than watch the shop so they spend the rest of their stake out session just talking. It’d been nice to actually learn things about Charlie. It turned out that Alicia didn’t actually know that much about him apart from the fact that he works with dragons and is fit. She’s still not sure whether they’re dating now or not but whatever they’re doing, they’re moving in the right direction as far as she is concerned.

Alicia is just walking back towards her bedroom after having had a shower when Pucey apparates into her living room with a sharp crack. Alicia almost drops her towel when she’s lunging for her wand on the small dining table. 

“Jesus Christ, Pucey!” She pulls the towel more tightly around herself and lets go of her wand again. 

Pucey just stares at her, then goes bright red and turns around. “I am so sorry.” 

“Have you ever thought of using the door like a normal person?” Alicia struts past him towards her bedroom. “Jesus.” 

She quickly gets dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt. When she gets back to the kitchen Pucey is making tea.

“You can’t just show up like that.” Alicia braids her still wet hair into a loose plait. 

Pucey is facing away from her and Alicia can see that the tips of his ears are still red. “I am really sorry. I won’t do that again.”

“Good. I mean, I don’t mind you coming around.” Alicia says and finds that she means it. “But maybe send an owl first or something.”

“I will.” He adds hot water to the two mugs in front of him. “I’m sorry.”

“Alright. No need to apologise a million times.” Alicia watches the back of his head. His brown hair has specks of gold in it. Alicia’s never noticed that before. 

“I should.” Pucey takes the tea bags out of the mugs and disposes of them in the bin under the sink. Alicia wonders whether he remembers or whether he’s been in her flat when she was at work or at the Burrow. The latter should bother her but somehow it doesn’t. He saved her life and now she trusts him. Death Eater and all. “It’s almost noon I didn’t think you might not be…dressed.”

Alicia laughs. “I did have a towel.” Pucey still looks a little flustered. “I played Quidditch. I can’t even count the amount of times the twins or Oliver barged into the girls’ changing room when I wasn’t quite dressed yet. Angelina and I gave Oliver a heart attack in fifth year when he walked in on us walking back from the showers in the buff. He squealed and couldn’t look us in the eye for a whole term. It was hilarious.”

Pucey doesn’t look like he finds it hilarious. He looks mortified. Alicia supposes it’s a pureblood thing. He adds just the right amount of milk to her tea and then two spoonfuls of sugar. “That’s horrible.”

Alicia accepts the proffered cup of tea and raises an eyebrow. “Seeing me naked is horrible?”

Pucey pulls a face. He’s blushing again. Alicia is enjoying herself way too much. This is payback for him overhearing her telling Mario that she thinks he’s good-looking. “Not what I meant. Can we talk about something else now?” He perches on the very edge of her sofa. “Please?”

Alicia grins. “Alright, you prude.” She puts her cup down for a moment to dig out some biscuits from the cupboard above the fridge. There’s some McVitie’s caramel digestives. Alicia arranges them on a plate (she doesn’t think Pucey would appreciate just eating them out of the package) and takes them with her to the sofa. Pucey’s just putting her cup on a coaster when she gets back. “How often have you been in my flat when I’m not home?”

Pucey takes one of the biscuits. He sniffs at it and pulls a face. “Just a couple of times.”

“Don’t you dare put it back. Try it.” Alicia helps herself to one of the biscuits. It’s got the perfect size to put on her tea like a lid. “Put it over your tea. It’ll melt the caramel a little.” Pucey imitates her with a raised eyebrow. “What do you do when I’m not here? Go through my underwear drawer?”

“Why should I do that when, apparently, by timing it just right, I get to see you wearing nothing but a towel?” He grins, obviously he’s gotten over seeing her half-naked. 

“Very funny.” Alicia removes the biscuit from its place covering the tea. She takes a bite, the chocolate and caramel melting down her fingers. She licks her hands clean before taking a sip of her tea. When she’s looking up Pucey is watching her with a weird expression his face. Alicia blushes a little. He’s probably used to better manners. And Alicia has spend her formative years with the Weasley twins. “So what do you do?”

Pucey clears his throat. “I leave again. I’m not rude. Well, apart from the apparating into your flat. That’s fairly bad manners, really.” He regards his own biscuit but then dares a bite. Alicia can see his eyes light up. “Merlin, this is amazing. Did you make them yourself?”

Alicia laughs. “I bought them myself. Mrs Weasley tried to teach Angelina and I how to bake a couple of years ago.” She takes a sip of her tea and watches Pucey finish the biscuit and then place another one over his tea. “She said we were more useless at it than the twins.”

“Baking is for house elves anyway.” There’s some chocolate on Pucey’s chin. Alicia decides not to tell him. She likes it when he’s not looking quite so put together all the time. 

“Have you ever even been in a kitchen?” Alicia pulls her legs up. She’s still feeling stiff from the stake out session last night. 

Pucey gestures towards their cups of tea. “Today was my first time making tea. So, no.”

“It’s pretty good.” Alicia takes another sip. It’s not just pretty good, Pucey’s made a perfect cup of tea. “Just what I needed.”

“Long shift last night?” He makes short work of the second biscuit. 

Alicia shakes her head. “No, I was on Knockturn Alley.” She freezes as soon as the last word leaves her mouth. What an absolute idiot she is. Why did she say that?

“I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Pucey sips on his tea. “So it’s your day off?”

“Yeah.” Alicia has quite obviously befriended the world’s worst Death Eater. “I’d usually go to the Burrow or do things for the…” She clears her throat. What is wrong with her? She’s way too trusting. “Anyway, I’m too tired after last night so I’ve decided to just watch TV all day.”

Pucey nods, not reacting to her blabbering. “That’s the square box, isn’t it?” He points at her telly. “I wish they would set up some sort of wizarding television. It’d be great to watch Quidditch games rather than just listen to them over the wireless.”

“It really would be. I’d love to watch some foreign games. The twins and I tried to listen to an Argentinian game once.” She smiles at the memory of it. “George swore that he could speak Spanish and translate for us. Well in the end it turned out we were listening to a Mexican telenovela.”

Pucey laughs. “Was it ‘las brujas desesperadas de la ciudad de México’?”

Alicia frowns. “I have no idea what you’ve just said. And I’m not sure whether I want to know why you’d know about Mexican telenovelas.”

“Mother listens to it. Spanish is fairly similar to Italian so she can understand it pretty well.”

“So your mother is Italian?”

“Both my parents are.” He empties his cup of tea and then sits further back on the sofa. “My great-grandparents moved to England in their twenties but my family keeps going back to Italy to find someone to marry. I don’t think there’s any British blood in me at all. Is all your family British?”

“Yeah. My dad was Welsh but he moved to England after marrying my mum.” 

“Wales is nice.” 

Alicia nods. She’s glad he’s not picked up on the was. She doesn’t really want to talk about her dad now. “I’ve only been a couple of times but we kind of lost touch with that side of the family.”

“Your father’s side?”

“Yeah. I suppose I could have made more of an effort. Especially with Amelia.” Alicia worries her lip. She’s got no clue why she brought that up. It’s still difficult for her to talk about what happened to her dad’s second cousin. 

“That’s why you were there that night.” There’s a pensive expression on Pucey’s face. “You are related.”

“Were.” Alicia puts her cup down. The tea’s gone cold. “But yeah. Moody wanted me to take advantage of that to pressure the DMLE into doing something about the Daily Prophet’s questionable reporting. Amelia didn’t want to though so it was a bit of a wasted visit. Well, apart from giving me a near-death experience and some trauma.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Not your fault. I suppose I was lucky you found me first.” Alicia can feel herself tearing up and she quickly wipes at her face. She’s not going to cry. “It was only a week or so after the attack on the Millennium Bridge. I didn’t think that everything would be so intense so quickly. I mean, I’ve barely graduated and now I’m supposed to fight in a war.” Pucey doesn’t say anything. “But it’s important. Protecting the muggles. And well, protecting Harry. He’s what’s most important.” 

“You are important too.” Pucey’s voice is so quiet Alicia almost didn’t notice that he spoke. “Don’t think that you are not. I don’t want you to risk your life.”

Alicia blinks away a tear. “I’m not risking my life. I’m usually giving first aid. We’ve got protective circles around the first aid stations so it’s safe. It’s a nifty little charm. They showed us at St Mungo’s and Remus Lupin said he will show me how to set up protective wards intended for battle fields. He spent quite a lot of time researching them when he was travelling through central Europe and the Balkans. He’s got lots of experience seeing as he’s always sleeping under strong wards when he’s staying with the werewolves.” Alicia mumbles. 

“Werewolves?”

“Oh, shit.” She covers her mouth with her hand. “I don’t know why I told you that. Fuck.”

“Told me what.” He smiles and gestures at the TV. “Television. You said you wanted to watch it today.”

Alicia gets up to turn it on and takes the remote back with her. She sits back down on her sofa, ignoring that somehow she’s ended up sitting much closer to Pucey than she’s started off with. Watching TV is definitely better than running her mouth. “There’s ‘Come dine with me’ reruns.”

Almost two hours later they’re still watching the programme and Pucey’s fascinated. 

“I can’t believe she only gave him five points. She served Cornish hen with chips. You do not serve Cornish hen with chips. His food actually looked pretty good.” Not just fascinated. Pucey is invested.

“You only say that because he did pasta. You’re biased.” Alicia takes a biscuit. They’d finished the McVitie’s caramel digestives ages ago and have moved on to hobnobs. Pucey had been a little taken aback when she asked whether he wanted some hobnobs but after showing him the package (and much laughing on Alicia’s part) he’s got another type of biscuit he’ll have his house elf buy for him. 

“Maybe. But come on. Chips with a Cornish hen.” He snorts. 

“Oh, yeah, how dare she. So very common of her.” Alicia snickers. 

“Whatever, Spinnet.” 

Alicia’s pulled out the sofa for more space and their legs are stretched out in front of them. She pretends not to notice that their knees kept bumping into each other and are now resting against each other. Just like she’s ignoring his elbow pressed tightly against hers. She should really move further away but it’s nice having someone to watch trashy TV with. Alicia doesn’t want to make it into something it’s not. They are just two friends watching TV. It’s no different to all the times she’s watched TV with Oliver, Lee or the twins. 

“Do you-“ Alicia says just when Pucey turns his face towards her to presumably comment on chips or Cornish hens or something like that. Their faces are way too close together. Alicia’s mouth goes dry. This is not like watching TV with her other friends. She’s never wanted any of them to kiss her. Alicia clears her throat. “It’s getting quite late.” It’s not even three yet. 

“Sure.” Pucey backs away and then slowly gets to his feet. “I better go. I’ve got to…Things. I’ve got to do things.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Alicia watches him put his shoes back on. 

“Right.” He gets his wand out from the holster on his left forearm. Alicia can’t help but look for the dark mark. The olive skin on his arm is bare. He’s not been marked yet. She looks up and Pucey is watching her. “Thank you for the biscuits.” He disapparates without another word.

Alicia buries her head in the cushions behind her. What is she doing? She’s watching muggle TV with a Death Eater, marked or not. She takes a deep breath in. The cushions smell faintly of sandalwood and something spicy she can’t quite put her finger on. They smell like Pucey. Why didn’t she tell him to leave? Why didn’t she do that and ask Charlie to come around instead? Alicia grabs her wand and casts a Scourgify on her sofa cushions. She doesn’t want them to smell like Pucey. It’s doing something to her head and Alicia doesn’t like it. Not one bit.

~||~

November bleeds into December and, as Maggie’s warned her, work gets busier again. Alicia is so tired after her shifts that she’s started to spend lunch times at Katie’s bedside rather than sticking around after work. It definitely has nothing to do with Pucey possibly waiting for her at home. Because he doesn’t anyway. It’s been almost three weeks since they had biscuits and watched ‘Come dine with me’ and he’s not been back. Alicia doesn’t know how she feels about that. 

Work’s so busy that Alicia only manages to see Charlie a couple of times. Once at Sunday lunch at the Burrow where they manage to sneak away for a half hour snog in the garden shed and the other time pretending to be muggle tourists outside Nr. 10 when there’s another rumour of a planned attack on the muggle prime minister. Neither times left much time for talking and Alicia’s glad. It makes her feel guilty that she’s not mentioned Pucey to him. Because she probably should, right?

It’s ten days before Christmas when Alicia gets woken up by a gentle hand on her shoulder and a whisper of her name. She sleepily looks up at Pucey who’s bleeding all over her sheets from a nasty gash on his forehead.

“Jesus, Pucey.” Alicia throws the cover back and grabs her wand to heal his face. “What is going on?”

Pucey flinches when the cut closes up. “I…” He takes her hand and pulls her into the living room. Marcus Flint is on her sofa, his hand’s cupping a broken nose and there are various cuts on his face and over his upper body. His eyes are shut and he’s barely conscious.

“Jesus.” Alicia says again and then starts healing the cuts. She can hear Pucey going through the drawers in her kitchen and then come back with a shallow bowl of water and a tea towel.

“We were attacked.” Pucey says and gingerly starts clearing the blood off Flint’s face. “I think his nose is broken.”

“You were attacked?” She waits for Pucey to finish and then she sets Flint’s nose with a whispered ‘Episkey’. “Aren’t you meant to be the ones doing the attacking?”

“That’s a very subjective thing to say.” Pucey places the bowl on the coffee table behind him. Flint’s gaze is unfocused and Alicia runs a diagnostic spell to see whether he’s concussed.

“Why didn’t you take him to St Mungo’s?”

“Wasn’t really an option. Seeing as we had a little scuffle with aurors.” 

“Right.” Alicia reads the diagnostic spell. Flint’s not concussed. “Well, thanks for dragging me into this.” She’s starting to feel pissed off. She’s not told anyone about Pucey because he’s the reason she’s still alive but she’s not sure that gratefulness can be extended to Marcus Flint.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where else to go. I’m crap at healing spells.” Pucey sits down next to Flint. “He’ll be okay?”

Alicia nods. “He’s just dizzy from the blood loss.” She walks into the bathroom to check whether she’s got any blood replenish potion left. There’s some in the cupboard above the sink and she takes it back to the living room. “Give him some of that and you’ll be fine to apparate in about a quarter of an hour.”

Pucey takes the vial out of her hand and then gently pours it down Flint’s throat. Flint still looks out of it but Alicia is confident he’ll be fine. She takes the bowl and empties it in the kitchen sink before filling it up with fresh water. The tea towel goes into the washing machine and she grabs another one. 

“I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t tell anyone about Marcus.” Pucey holds still whilst Alicia cleans the blood off his face. “Please.”

Alicia uncovers a couple more cuts when the blood is gone and she heals them quickly. “You should invest in some Dittany. They shouldn’t scar but there’s only so many times skin can be knitted together without scabbing.” 

Pucey gives her a crooked smile. “Sure. Wouldn’t want to mess up my pretty face.”

“I see you’ve not lost your sense of humour.” Alicia takes the bowl back into the kitchen. She leans back against the counter and crosses her arms. “I wish you hadn’t come here.”

“I’m sorry.” Pucey takes a quick look at Flint and then walks over to join Alicia in the kitchen. “I know there’s a bit of a conflict of interest but…”

“A conflict of interest? Are you fucking insane?” Alicia cuts him off. “We are at war. This is not just a bloody conflict of interest.” And Alicia’s been watching telly with him as if the only thing they are on opposite sides on is the sofa. Of course Pucey would come here when she’s welcomed him with open arms and cups of tea. And caramel biscuits.

Pucey shrugs his shoulders. “Alright.” His eyes fall on Archibald who’s come out of the bedroom. Pucey squats down to pet the cat. “Isn’t there some sort of healer codex? Like an oath of secrecy?”

“Healers preserve patient confidentiality.” 

“There you go then.”

“But I’m not a healer yet. I’ve not sworn to anything.” Still Alicia knows that she won’t say anything. It feels wrong but betraying Pucey’s trust feels even worse.

“So you’re going to tell Moody or somebody?” Pucey gets to his feet and faces her. He looks resigned. 

“No.”

“No?” 

“No, I won’t tell anyone. But you better start learning at least some basic healing charms.” Alicia’s eyes fall on Flint. He’s started moving. She frowns. The movement looks familiar. 

“I-“ Pucey is cut off by Flint’s scream. 

Alicia swears. She rushes over to him. “Hold him down!” 

Pucey grabs his friend’s hands and pins him to the back of the sofa. Alicia cuts open his trousers with a practised Diffindo. She can’t make out any dark spots or movement under Flint’s pale skin. 

“Fuck. Take his shirt off.” 

Pucey does his best but Flint’s thrashing now so Alicia ends up cutting the shirt off his body while Pucey holds him down. There’s a dark shadow moving under the skin of Flint’s forearm. 

“What in Salazar’s name is that?” Pucey sounds horrified. 

Alicia ignores him. She carefully makes a small incision on the top of Flint’s arm and hopes it will work just as well as it did that time with Lee. “Tergeo!” The dark matter fights back and it takes all of her focus to get the spell to stick but after a few breathless moments it does. There must have been less in his system than Lee’s as it only takes a couple of seconds for Alicia to draw it all out. She uses the empty vial of the blood replenishing potion to dispose of the liquid. Alicia heals the cut on Flint’s forearm and then sinks back against the sofa.

“You’ve dealt with this before.” Pucey is wide-eyed. He wipes some sweat off his forehead.

“Mhm.” Alicia feels drained. The adrenaline is flickering out and exhaustion is setting in. “It’s a dark curse one of your buddies has invented. The Order is looking into it but Tergeo seems to be able to get rid of it just fine for now.” Alicia takes a deep breath and then casts another diagnostic charm to make sure that Flint’s alright. “You might want to cast an Impervius when you’re out.”

“Right.” Pucey takes off his jumper. He gets rid off the tatters of Flint’s shirt and then awkwardly dresses his friend. “If it’s my buddies’ invention then why are aurors using it?”

Alicia freezes. He’s got a point. If it’s a Death Eater developed curse like Lupin said then the aurors should not be able to cast it. Especially since neither Fred nor Lee heard the incantation. And Alicia knows that the Order’s only discussed her Tergeo and the Impervius idea. Not even Snape or Dumbledore were familiar with it and didn't know a better counter spell either. Which only leaves one explanation. There’s a Death Eater amongst the aurors. Moody will be furious. They all know that the ministry is littered with spies for You-Know-Who but they were hoping the aurors hadn’t been infiltrated yet. 

“Shit.” 

Pucey’s finished putting the jumper on Flint. “Quite.”

“I need to tell Moody.” 

“And how are you going to bring that up?” Pucey leans back. He looks a bit green around the edges. “I suppose it was a tad too optimistic of me to think I’d be able to get away with coming to you. Just don’t say anything about Marcus. He didn’t make the decision to come here. I did.”

“I’ll think of something.” Flint stirs and murmurs something unintelligible. “He should be alright to side-along now.”

Pucey grabs on to Flint’s arm. “I owe you, Spinnet. I really do.” 

They’re gone with a sharp crack.


	5. Chapter 5

Alicia can’t believe she thought this would be a good idea. It’s freezing in the garden of the Burrow and Snape’s beady eyes are staring a hole into her soul.

“So you are telling me that the aurors have been using that Death Eater developed spell but you can’t tell me what makes you certain that they are?”

“Yes, Professor.” Alicia does her best to look innocent. She feels a headache coming on.

“I see.” Snape raises an eyebrow and Alicia feels like she’s back in the Potions classroom. “Why are you telling me this and not Moody?”

Alicia shrugs. “He’d want to know how I know.”

“And I don’t?”

“I think you probably already have a pretty good idea how I know.” Alicia nervously twirls her wand. “But I hope you’re more susceptive of overlooking that part.”

Snape regards her intently for a moment and Alicia’s headache worsens. She feels like something’s crawling through her brain but then the pressure is gone. 

“I will speak to Shacklebolt and Moody. It won’t look odd if the information is coming from me.” Snape turns away from her. “Don’t forget which side you are on, Miss Spinnet.”

Angelina and Oliver are squabbling over something or other when Alicia joins them in the twins’ bedroom. George is prodding his wand against a muggle wind-up toy and Fred is snickering with Lee behind the pages of an old edition of the Daily Prophet. 

“Why does Snape always act like he’s the main character in some Shakespearean play?” Alicia huffs and sits down next to George on his bed. 

“More like a side character.” George prods the toy again and it shoots off some sparks.

“An overpaid extra.” Fred calls from the top of the bunk bed.

“A random audience member in the back row.” Angelina glares at Oliver. Alicia figures they’ve been arguing about Quidditch or something again.

“The guy who sells popcorn.” Lee chirps in.

Oliver frowns. “They don’t sell popcorn in a theatre.” 

“They should. Might make people actually want to go.” Alicia takes the toy out of George’s hand before he blows them all up.

“What did you have to talk to him about anyway?” George’s eyes follow the toy longingly. 

Alicia shrugs. “There was a patient at St Mungo’s who’d gotten hit by the same curse Lee did.” The lie comes out too easily.

“Ugh.” Lee shivers. “That was really nasty.”

“Let’s not talk about it.” Fred says with a worried look at his best friend. “Hey, Al. How come you’re blessing us with your presence? Shouldn’t you be shagging my brother?”

Alicia can feel herself go bright red.

“Gross, Fred.” George snickers. “Also, you gotta clarify. There’s like six of us so who exactly is she meant to be shagging?”

“I’m not shagging anyone.” Alicia huffs.

“You’re not?” Angelina raises an eyebrow at her. 

“Not for lack of trying, am I right?” Fred laughs.

“Jesus, Fred, shut up.” Alicia sends a stinging hex up through the mattress above her head.

“Ouch, that was me!” Lee winces.

They all laugh and then Lee starts talking about the newest gossip at the Daily Prophet involving none other than Rita Skeeter and the eighteen year old wizard who brings them sandwiches at lunch. Apparently they’ve been getting it on in the break room. Alicia is happy about the change of topic. So far, Charlie and her have spend a lot of time talking and some time kissing but that’s about it. Not that Alicia wants to rush things. She’s got zero experience and it makes her nervous thinking that she’s very likely going to embarrass herself in front of Charlie.

George can feel her maudlin and pulls her back towards the wall for some privacy. “You alright?”

Alicia shrugs. “Not sure you want to hear about it.”

“Worried about Charlie?”

“Not worried. I just feel so insecure about certain things.” Alicia doesn’t really want to specify it further but by the look on George’s face she doesn’t need to.

“I don’t think he’d ever want you to feel insecure with him.” George bumps his shoulder against hers. “He’s the most decent one out of all of us, you know.”

Alicia smiles. “I don’t know, George, you’re pretty decent too.”

“Meh.” He reaches over Alicia and she thinks he’s going to hug her so she leans in but he’s just after the wind-up toy. George grabs it and Alicia huffs. “I’m not going to blow it up. Anyway. You like him and he likes you, so it’s simple, isn’t it?”

“Simple, yeah.” Alicia says without any conviction. 

It’s anything but simple. She can’t shake the feeling that she’s much more invested in Charlie than he is in her. Alicia’s liked him for years after all whereas he’s only just noticed her a couple of months ago. It’s scary opening yourself up to someone like that and she now gets Charlie’s reservations about them dating. And she doesn’t even want to think about the whole Pucey situation. 

“Right. Cheer up, Spinnet.” George smiles at her encouragingly. “It’ll be alright.”

Alicia gives him a weak smile back. She hopes he’s right.

~||~

“It wasn’t my idea.” Pucey says when Alicia gets home from work two days before Christmas Eve.

He’s sitting on her sofa, Flint and Bletchley on either side of him. Archibald’s nowhere to be seen.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” Alicia says and shrugs out of her light blue healer robes. 

“She does swear a lot.” Bletchley stage-whispers to the others.

Alicia glares at him. Only then she notices that they’re all dressed up in muggle suits. Crisp white shirts and dark suit jackets. Leather shoes. No ties but Bletchley’s got a silk scarf thingy loosely wrapped around his neck. This can’t be good.

“I don’t think I even want to ask what you are doing here.” 

“Well, funny you should ask…” Bletchley says and Flint just glares. Pucey looks sheepish.

“I didn’t.” Alicia crosses her arms.

“Semantics.” Bletchley stands up and looks at her appraisingly. “So, a little birdie told me that you kind of saved my friend’s life here.” 

Flint’s still glaring. Alicia thinks he’d rather fall over dead than actually say thank you to her.

“I’m the birdie.” Pucey chips in.

“I gathered that.” Alicia still isn’t sure why the three Slytherins have ambushed her in her own flat. 

“Anyway. We are going to take you out.” 

“Take me out?” 

“Yes. For drinks. As a thank you.” Bletchley looks at her like she’s stupid. 

“This is ridiculous.” Alicia turns away and gets herself a glass of water. She definitely shouldn’t go out with them. They probably just want to get her drunk and then extract secrets about the Order from her. Well, joke’s on them. Alicia doesn’t actually know much that’s worth finding out about. 

“Quite.” Pucey walks past Bletchley and joins her by the sink. “But I told them you wouldn’t want a gift basket either so here we are.” 

“What do you know about what I want?” Alicia drains the glass and then puts it away.

“Obviously nothing.” Pucey mumbles, almost too quiet to hear.

Bletchley claps his hands. “Alright, darling. Where’s your wardrobe? Through here?” Without waiting for an answer, Bletchley walks into her bedroom. 

“Hey!” Alicia hurries after him. There’s no way she’s going to let Bletchley riffle through her underwear drawer. Although she's getting the feeling he wouldn’t be that interested in her knickers. 

“Do you have anything that’s not…how do I put this nicely…so awfully Gryffindor?” He pulls out a red wooly jumper. Bletchley drops it and goes through her trousers. They’re mostly pairs of jeans and mostly, well, Ginny’s. 

“Do I have to get changed?” Alicia looks down at her clothes. She’s wearing dark jeans (she’s pretty sure these are her own) and a light blue jumper. 

Bletchley looks at her like she’s just stepped on his favourite puffskein. “Yes.” He returns to going through her clothes. “We are going to The 801. It’s in Mayfair.” He says like that’s meant to mean something to Alicia. “Right, this is just no good. I’ll be back.” He disapparates without another word.

Alicia sighs and returns to the living room. Pucey and Flint are talking quietly and there’s a bottle of firewhiskey on her coffee table. She doesn’t own any so they must have brought it with them. The two wizards stop talking when they notice her. Pucey walks into her kitchen and gets out another glass. Seeing the ease with which he moves around her flat makes Alicia feel strange. He pours her a glass of firewhiskey.

“Miles?” Pucey asks and sits down. He holds the glass out for her.

“He wasn’t happy with whatever’s in my wardrobe so he’s disapparated to get me something I assume.” Alicia takes the glass out of his hand and sits down next to him. 

“Spinnet.” Alicia frowns. She’d almost forgotten that Flint is here. “I don’t quite share Adrian’s blind trust in you but he did do the right thing. So, well. Thank you.” 

Blind trust? Alicia takes a sip of her drink and grimaces. She hates firewhiskey. “You’re welcome.”

They all flinch when Bletchley appears in the living room with a sharp crack. “Right. Come on then, Spinnet.” He walks back to her bedroom and Alicia follows him reluctantly. 

“What’s that?” Alicia points at the slither of fabric in Bletchley’s arms. 

“A dress.” He holds it out towards her. 

Alicia puts the glass of firewhiskey down on her bedside table. The dress is soft, Alicia reckons it’s made of velvet. It’s a deep dark blue and the odd golden sparkle reminds Alicia of the night sky. 

“Put it on then.” Bletchley looks at her expectantly.

“Erm…”

“Oh, calm your tits, Spinnet.” He snorts. “Tits that I have no interest in by the way.” 

Alicia cocks her head. “Not pureblood enough for you?”

“I have no interest in tits full stop. Pureblood or not.” Bletchley rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so bloody sensitive.” 

“Oh.” So her suspicions were correct then. Although she still feels a little weird she takes off her trousers and jumper. She’s glad she’s used a shaving charm this morning. The dress feels soft against her skin and fits her pretty well actually.

“You can’t wear a bra with it.” Bletchley says with a critical eye. “You don’t really need one anyway.”

“Jesus. Very charming.” Alicia feels herself blush. She’s always felt self-conscious about her small boobs. Her only hope is that Charlie is more of a bum kind of guy. She’s better off in that department. 

“What? I’m only being honest. And big breasts wouldn’t suit the style of the dress anyway.” He watches Alicia shimmy out of her bra, zero interest in his gaze. 

“Whose dress is it?” Alicia straightens the spaghetti straps. She feels a little exposed with how low cut it is. At least it’s not too short. Well, no shorter than their school skirts used to be.

“My younger sister’s. She’s got a million dresses, she’ll never notice it missing.” Bletchley reaches into his pocket and then unshrinks a pair of shoes. He hands Alicia the strappy black heels. 

She takes them but isn’t sure she’ll be able to walk in them. Or, how long for anyway.   
“Are these your sister’s too?”

Bletchley nods. “The older one though. Lucky for you I’ve got three sisters to steal clothes from.” He reaches into his pocket again, his hand coming back with a delicate golden necklace. “That’s from my third sister. Don’t lose it or I owe her a bag of galleons.” Bletchley fastens the necklace around her neck. “Put your hair down.”

Alicia does and smoothes it with her fingers. Bletchley studies her for a moment but then he nods. “Let’s go.”

They return to the living room and Bletchley makes an embarrassing ‘tada!’ sound. Alicia rolls her eyes at him. 

“Didn’t know you were hiding legs like that.” Flint says appreciatively. 

“Whatever.” Alicia walks past him to grab her bag with the extension charm on it. 

Flint whistles. “Also didn’t know you were hiding an ar-“ 

Pucey elbows him roughly. “Shut up.” He snarls at his friend. Alicia ignores them.

Bletchley laughs. “Ready?” They nod and then Bletchley’s arm is on hers and Alicia feels the pull of side-along apparition.

The 801 is just past The Dorchester hotel down a quiet side street. There’s a bit of queue outside but Alicia follows the three Slytherins straight to the front of the queue. The bouncer clearly recognises them and waves them through. The club is more of a bar and probably the poshest place Alicia has ever been in. The lighting is low and the furniture modern but eclectic. Every single person in the bar looks like they have a trust fund. Well, apart from Alicia. Bletchley and Flint make straight for the bar but Pucey grabs her hand and pulls her towards a table further towards the back. 

“Sorry about all of this.” He says. The music isn’t obsessively loud but he still has to lean closer towards her to make himself heard. His breath is hot against Alicia’s neck.

“It’s alright.” Alicia shrugs. “A bit of a warning would have been nice.”

Pucey smiles. “Next time.”

Before Alicia can say that she doesn’t really think that there should be a next time, Bletchley and Flint return with the drinks. Flint puts a colourful cocktail in front of her.

“You look like you might enjoy something like that.” He has to almost shout to make himself heard.

Alicia decides not to take it as an insult and just smiles sweetly at him. She does actually enjoy a good cocktail and is also glad that he didn’t bring her what they’ve got which looks like more whiskey, but the muggle kind this time. 

They clink their glasses and Alicia takes a tentative sip from her drink. It’s got pineapple in it and is actually rather tasty. She can’t taste the alcohol at all and decides not to accept any more drinks from Flint. He’s definitely out to get her drunk. 

“Good?” Pucey says against her neck again and Alicia thinks he doesn’t really need to lean in quite that closely but she nods anyway. 

“Very fruity.” Pucey frowns and Alicia leans more towards him. “Very fruity.” She says again and he smiles. 

“Miles probably picked it.” He grins. “He’s very fruity himself.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh. “I’ve noticed.”

They are sitting quite close now but it beats having to shout. 

“Are you spending Christmas with the Weasleys?” Pucey asks and swirls the ice in his whiskey.

Alicia shakes her head. It makes her hair swing against Pucey’s shoulder. “I’m down to work.”

He pulls a face. “That’s annoying.”

“I don’t mind, really. I did get New Year’s off in return for working Christmas so that’s not too bad.” Alicia sips on her drink. It’s almost empty. “What are you doing for Christmas?”

Pucey tells her about his family’s plans for the holidays and when he’s done, Alicia realises that either Bletchley or Flint got her another drink that she’s now already almost finished as well. She really ought to slow down. 

“Will you be in town for all of the holidays then?” Pucey asks as Flint sets down another drink in front of her. Alicia looks up at him and he just winks at her before returning to his conversation with Bletchley. She takes a sip. This one tastes like coconut. 

“Not all of it, no. I’m going to go see my mum on Boxing Day.” 

“That sounds nice.” Pucey shifts a little and then Alicia adjusts herself so she’s facing towards him still. She blushes a little when she realises that his knee has ended up between her legs. That’s what you get for not crossing your legs like a lady. She sips on her drink to cover up her red face. 

“It’s alright. We usually just spend it in our jimjams watching EastEnders and eating Roses.” 

Pucey frowns. “Nothing you’ve just said made any sense to me, Spinnet.”

Alicia laughs. The alcohol is making her feel lightheaded. Before she can explain it to him, Bletchley’s pulling her up. 

“Let’s dance, Spinnet!” 

Alicia shrugs at Pucey and follows Bletchley towards the dance floor. The club’s filled up now and there are quite a lot of people dancing. Everything is spinning and Alicia suspects that there may have been one or two more drinks inbetween the first pineapple and the last coconut flavoured one that she may have not realised drinking. 

Bletchley’s a confident dancer and he twirls her expertly. Alicia’s definitely drunk enough to not care about how she looks and she lets Bletchley spin her around and dip her back. She laughs when he lifts her in a poor attempt of recreating the opening dance of the Yule Ball all those years ago. Bletchley grins at her and then spins her around again, right into Pucey’s arms. 

“Hello.” Alicia says breathlessly and tipsy. Okay, maybe a tad more than just tipsy.

“Hello.” Pucey smiles at her. He doesn’t attempt any fancy dancing like Bletchley but just puts his hands on her waist and pulls her a little closer. Alicia places her hands on his shoulders. He leans towards her. They sway lightly, neither of them caring that it’s not the right kind of music to slow dance. “I think Marcus has been trying to get you drunk.”

“I think he’s succeeded.” Alicia likes it when Pucey smiles. It makes his eyes light up just like that one time when he was speaking Italian with Mario over the phone. 

“Well, there is no hidden agenda. You saved his life. It’s his way of saying thank you.” 

Alicia shrugs. She doesn’t really want to talk about any of that now. It’ll only remind her that she’s currently doing exactly the opposite of what she should. “You’ve got nice skin.” She says in place of acknowledging Pucey’s words.

“Is that what makes me so good looking?” Pucey grins down at her. 

“Mhm.” Alicia removes her right hand from Pucey’s shoulder and lightly brushes over his cheek. Merlin, she’s drunk. “It’s like a good cup of tea.” 

“You’re not really making sense, Spinnet.” He’s still smiling though.

“I make perfect sense.” She rests her hand on his cheek. Pucey’s smile disappears, he looks almost worried. “A perfect cup of tea. Just the right amount of sugar. Not too strong, not too milky. Just right. Perfect.” Alicia squints her eyes. “You know how I like my cup of tea.”

Pucey places his hand on top of hers. “I do?”

“Yeah.” It suddenly makes her feel sad that Pucey knows how she likes her tea and Charlie still has to ask every single time how much sugar she takes and never adds enough milk. “And you smile a lot. I never noticed when we were still at school.”

“I don’t think you noticed me at all back then.” He removes his hand from where it’s been resting atop of hers and places it on her waist again.

“That’s not true.” Alicia lets go of his face, suddenly feeling stupid touching him like that. She rests it on his shoulder again. “I noticed that you never fouled at Quidditch even though I think it made Flint angry at you.” 

“It did.” The smile is back.

“I noticed that you actually got on pretty well with McGonagall. You used to stay behind after some lessons.”

“Transfiguration was my favourite subject. McGonagall tried to persuade me to apply for a Mastery.” 

Alicia can feel him holding on a little more tightly to her waist. “And I noticed that when you were cutting ingredients in Potions you’d do it with your tongue poking out a little.”   
She can’t stop looking at his lips after saying that.

“Oh.” The smile is gone from his face. It’s been replaced by an expression Alicia can’t quite read. She feels her cheeks flush. 

“Erm yeah.” Alicia clears her throat. What is she doing? “I probably should go. It must be late already.” Alicia drops her hands from his shoulders. “I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“Sure.” 

Pucey steps back a little, his hands leaving her waist. Alicia wants them back. She shakes her head. She really is drunk.

“Say bye to Bletchley and Flint for me, yeah?” 

Alicia doesn’t wait for a reply but just makes her way through the dancing trust fund kids. When the cold air hits her she sobers up. She swears. Why did she tell Pucey all of that? A perfect cup of tea? Alicia feels mortified. She walks further down the street until she finds an empty alley to disapparate from. Admitting that she noticed something as small as him poking out his tongue when cutting ingredients. What an absolute moronic thing to say. She disapparates. 

~||~

Christmas eve is quiet at St Mungo’s until the splinching accidents start trickling in at around ten pm. The hospital is running a skeleton staff over the holidays so Alicia finds herself attending to patients down in magical creature attacks when she gets the call to sort out a drunk party goer who’s managed to splinch his finger caps off. He’s winy and absolutely shit faced but sobers up a little when Alicia dunks his fingers in a small bowl filled with a mix of water and essence of Dittany. Alicia knows it stings but there’s no way they’ll be able to retrieve his finger caps from wherever he’s disapparated from so sealing off the wounds is the only thing she can do.

The next splinching accident arrives not even ten minutes later. It’s a witch around Alicia’s age and she’s brought her splinched off big toe with her. It’s in a half-empty martini glass. Alicia sighs. At least there are some ice cubes in it that have kept the toe alive. She attaches it and then sends the witch back via the floo in the reception area. After that they arrive more or less in ten minute intervals and Alicia reattaches a thumb, an ear and more toes than she wants to see in one night. Or ever again, really.

It’s just gone midnight when she sends off another wizard with a splinched off toe and finds Charlie walking towards her. He’s dressed in a brand new Weasley jumper (dark blue with a big pale yellow C) and swaying a little as he walks. 

“Please don’t tell me you’ve splinched off one of your toes.” Alicia says by way of greeting.

“I took the floo to the Leaky and then walked over here. All toes accounted for.” Charlie frowns. “I think.”

“Well thank god for that.” Alicia looks at her watch. “Do you want to grab a cuppa? I’m due a break.”

They take the elevator up to the top floor. The café is deserted except for the witch serving them. 

“Mum gave me this for you.” Charlie reaches into his pocket and then unshrinks a parcel that suspiciously looks like a jumper. 

“Oh. Tell her thank you from me, please.” Alicia worries for a brief moment that maybe Charlie got her something too because she didn’t even think about getting him a present but he makes no further move to hand anything over. 

“Are you not coming over for Christmas dinner?”

Alicia shakes her head. “I’ve got a 48 hour shift. Won’t get off until Boxing day and then I’m going straight to my mum’s.”

“Right.” He looks at her from over his cup of tea. “But you’re coming for New Year’s eve, aren’t you?”

“I am, yeah.” 

“Good. I do want to see you before I’ve got to go back to Romania on New Year’s day.” 

“I want to see you too. It’s been so busy at work.” Alicia stirs some sugar into her tea. 

Charlie nods. “Yeah. I went over to your flat a couple of nights ago.” He shrugs. “You weren’t home. Probably should have owled you first. Did you go out?”

Alicia swears internally. She really needs to get anti-apparition wards set up. She’s never really thought about what might happen if Charlie shows up while Pucey’s there. Or the other way around. “Mhm.” It’s dumb luck that Charlie obviously was there after she’d already left with the Slytherins. There’s a nervous giggle building up inside of her when she imagines what he’d have said about the three Slytherins sitting on her sofa. 

“Good night?” 

Alicia can’t work out whether he’s annoyed that she went out or just curious. It unnerves her. “It was alright, yeah.”

“Who did you go out with?” 

He definitely sounds a little annoyed now. “Just some friends from work. We just had drinks, really. Nothing too exciting. I’m sorry I didn’t think of inviting you along.”

Charlie seems placated by that and starts telling her about all the latest gossip at the Burrow. Although the real gift giving doesn’t happen until tomorrow morning, the Weasleys have the tradition of inviting all their friends over on Christmas eve where Mrs Weasley hands out her newest collection of jumpers and everyone gets plastered. It’s sweet, really, that Charlie’s left the festivities to visit her. Alicia doesn’t know when she switches off and starts thinking about Pucey. He told her that his family spends Christmas eve attending one of the boring balls one of the pureblood families throw and he usually just gets shit faced with Flint and Bletchley. Alicia frowns. Something has shifted between her and Pucey and it’s scaring her. Not that she has to worry about seeing him again any time soon. She’ll set up apparition wards and that’ll be that. No more impromptu visits. Alicia’s already shrunk the things that Bletchley had lend her and send them back to him via owl so that’s sorted as well. No need to contact either of them. 

“Alicia?” 

Crap. “Sorry. I’m just a little tired.” Alicia stretches to enforce her point. “All these splinching accidents are kind of draining.”

“I can imagine.” Charlie gives her an easy smile and her heart starts beating a little faster. He’s got no business looking that good in a handmade jumper and with a little soot on the top of his brow from the floo. 

“I should probably get a pepper up potion. Most parties will fizzle out about now and there are bound to be more splinches.” Alicia drains her cup and gets up. 

Charlie wraps her in a tight embrace and Alicia takes in the smell of him. It’s comforting and she doesn’t want him to let go. “There’s a mistletoe.”

Alicia looks up and one of the magically moving mistletoes has indeed moved into place on the ceiling above them. “There is.”

He smiles at her and then gently places a kiss on her lips. Alicia opens her mouth so Charlie can deepen the kiss. He faintly tastes of butterbeer and cauldron cakes. They’re both smiling when they break apart again. 

After Charlie’s left Alicia helps herself to a pepper up potion and gets back to work. There’s way too many splinched off toes before she can finally get some rest in the nurses’ room. 

~||~

Christmas day is much quieter. Alicia is able to catch up on some much needed sleep when she’s finished doing rounds in Magical Bugs and Permanent Spell Damage. She has lunch and then decides to visit Katie. 

Angelina and Oliver are squabbling when Alicia gets to Katie’s bed. 

“Great bedside manners.” She says and climbs into bed next to Katie’s feet. She pulls her legs up and starts unwrapping a chocolate orange one of the nurses has given her. 

“It’s Oliver’s fault.” Angelina glares at Oliver one last time but then holds her hand out for Alicia to give her a piece of the chocolate.

“It’s not.” Oliver leans back on his chair. “Angelina just can’t deal with the truth.”

Alicia throws. “Are you going to fill me in? Every time I see you you’re arguing.” She passes Angelina some chocolate. 

Instead of answering Angelina fills her mouth with chocolate and shakes her head.

“Merlin.” Oliver rolls his eyes. “Basically Angelina doesn’t believe that Fred is only wanting to mess around with her but George really does like her.”

Alicia nods. “I’ve been telling her that for years.” She bites of a bit of chocolate. “I said that after the Yule Ball, didn’t I?”

Angelina huffs. “George has zero interest in me. We hardly talk to each other.”

“Don’t be stupid, Angelina. He doesn’t talk to you because of Fred.” Oliver leans forward and brushes an errand strand of hair out of Katie’s face. “And Fred is chasing after ten different girls at any given time so really isn’t worth pursuing something more serious with.”

“Bloody hell, Dr Phil.” Alicia laughs. Her two friends look at her confused. “He’s a muggle doctor? Gives out relationship advice on TV? No? Nevermind.”

“I don’t know why you think you’re the expert on relationships, Oliver. When was the last time you went on a date?” Angelina raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t turn this on to me.” 

“Whatever. I’ll only listen to Alicia from now on. She’s the one with the successful relationship after all.” She turns to Alicia. “It’s going well with Charlie, isn’t it? You seem so much happier.”

“It is.” Alicia tells them about Charlie visiting her last night and Angelina swoons a little.

“George is very similar to Charlie.” Oliver says apropos of nothing and Angelina kicks him in the shin.

Alicia laughs. “Well, this has been fun. But some of us actually have to work.” She climbs down from the bed and gives Angelina the remains of her chocolate orange. “I’ll see you on New Year’s eve?”

Angelina nods. “Yeah.”

“Oh no, wait, we’ll see you before then.” Oliver looks around the room to make sure nobody’s listening in. “There’s a meeting on the 29th. Seven pm at the HQ.” 

“Really? Why?” Alicia frowns. She didn’t think they’d meet until the new year. 

Oliver shrugs. “No idea. Moody and Shacklebolt are whispering even more than usual but I’ve got no clue what they’ll want to talk to us about.”

“Maybe some more surveillance work during the holidays.” Angelina suggests. 

“Yeah, maybe. Right, I’ve got to go.” Alicia gives Angelina a hug and kisses Oliver’s cheek. “Have a lovely Christmas!”

On her way back to the Curses ward Alicia is accosted by her old mentor from Magical Bugs. There’s been an outbreak of vanishing sickness in a retirement home and he needs a hand with looking after the elderly witches and wizards. Alicia sends a small prayer that it won’t involve any missing toes and follows him to the second floor. The pensioners are very demanding and the upcoming Order meeting doesn’t cross her mind again even once.

~||~

Alicia decides to stay at her mum’s until the 29th so she floos to the Leaky Cauldron before apparating straight to Grimauld Place for the meeting. She’s not worried about Archibald spending all this time alone, she’s left plenty of food out and she suspects that the cat actually prefers to have the flat to himself anyway. 

There’s obviously no Christmas decorations out at Grimauld Place but some of the Order members must have arrived earlier to clean up a little. Ever since Sirius Black’s death almost more than half a year ago now, nobody’s actually stayed in the old townhouse and it’s slowly but surely returning to its dilapidated state. There’s been talk about finding a new headquarters as nobody can be bothered to maintain the building in a liveable condition. 

Alicia can hear people talk in the kitchen and she follows the sound of their voices. The Weasleys are already there and Mrs Weasley is making cups of tea for everyone. Tonks is trying to help her but, judging by the broken cup at her feet, is doing more harm than good. Moody’s taken up the head of the table, Shacklebolt is sitting to his right. Alicia waves at Angelina, Oliver and Lee who are sitting with the twins at the other end of the table. Lupin is talking quietly to Hestia Jones. Alicia can see Mundungus Fletcher loitering in a corner, eyeing the silverware. She sits down on an empty chair next to Charlie. 

“Hey.” Alicia can feel Mrs Weasley’s eyes on her so she doesn’t make any move to kiss or even touch Charlie. 

Charlie doesn’t seem to have any such qualms and he gently squeezes her thigh under the table. “Hey. How’s your mum?”

“All good, thank you. She’s joined a book club so we were actually reading and not watching TV as we usually do.” Alicia pulls a face. “At least she bought plenty of Roses.”

Charlie scrunches up his face. “That’s the chocolate, right?”

Alicia smiles. “Yeah.” 

Then Moody clears his throat and everyone stops talking. There’s a satisfied grin on his face. It looks menacing settled among all of his scars. “I have good news.” He glances at the pocket watch in his hand. “There is a raid taking place as we speak. Kingsley here has send some of his best aurors and several hit wizards to a warehouse out by the docks. We’ve been staking it out for months now and have recorded a steady coming and going of Death Eaters. We believe that it is being used to store dark artefacts.”

“Or even as a holding place for some of the wizards and witches that have gone missing.” Shacklebolt throws in. 

“Possibly.” Moody clears his throat. “In a matter of hours the aurors will have made several arrests. We know that these kinds of places are usually guarded by his newest followers so catching Death Eaters who don’t carry the mark yet at the scene of the crime is going to be a big success for us. It’s our only chance really to pin any sort of wrongdoing on them and get them locked up.”

Alicia blanches when she processes what he’s saying. Surely You-Know-Who won’t have send the sons of some of the oldest pureblood families to guard scrappy warehouses? But what if he did? Moody keeps going on about the raid but Alicia has stopped listening. What if Pucey is getting arrested right at this moment? Or hurt? They won’t go quietly. 

“Alicia? Are you alright?” Charlie asks her quietly.

Alicia looks up. Moody’s stopped talking and now Lupin is going on about werewolves emigrating from central Europe and the Balkans to join You-Know-Who but Alicia’s barely listening. 

“I’ve got to go.” Alicia mumbles. “I…I’m not feeling too good.”

“Do you want me to side-along you back to your flat?” Charlie looks worried now.

Alicia shakes her head. “I’ll be alright. I’ve got some pepper-up in my bag. I’ll have one before I apparate.” She gets up and tries to sneak out but some worried eyes follow her. Alicia doesn’t care. She thinks she’s going to be sick.

As soon as Alicia gets to her flat she rushes into the bathroom and throws up in the loo. Her stomach is in knots and she retches until there’s nothing left to come out. Alicia sinks down on to the cool bathroom floor and rests her forehead against the tiles. She doesn’t know how long she remains there but Archibald joins her at some point and meows weakly. 

“He’ll be alright, Archie.” She whispers, her throat aching from throwing up. “He has to be.”

~||~

Alicia wakes when she hears the sharp crack of someone apparating into her living room. She feels stiff from awkwardly lying on the bathroom floor and her mouth tastes disgusting. When she gets to the living room, she wants to throw up again. Pucey is standing in the middle of the room, his wand held high and his eyes wild. He’s covered in blood. 

“It’s not mine.” He says and then Alicia is already on him. She’s clinging on to him not caring that she’s getting blood all over her face and clothes. “It’s not mine.” He mutters against the top of her head. 

“You are okay.” Alicia pulls back, suddenly embarrassed. 

Pucey draws her back into his embrace, now it’s him holding on tightly. “I am.” He sounds a little hoarse. “It was awful. I hate it. All of it. We all do, Marcus, Miles… We are all so terrified of him.” His voice is shaking now and he’s swallowing deeply before he continues. “We do it because it’s expected…Because our fathers want us to. Cassius…I don’t know if you remember him…he…Cassius refused. He refused to join.” Pucey’s voice breaks. “He killed them. He killed Cassius and all of his family. He exterminated the whole Warrington family. Strung them up in their living room for the neighbours to find.” 

Alicia looks up. There are tears running down his eyes. They are clearing a shaky path down his face through all the blood.

“We can’t say no. He doesn’t care how old your family is. The Warringtons were part of the sacred twenty-eight. And now they’re gone.” Pucey lets go off Alicia and angrily wipes at his face. “There’s no choice. You either follow him or you die.” Alicia doesn’t know when she started crying but she can feel the tears falling down her face. “I don’t want to die.” His voice trails off.

“Adrian…” Alicia wipes at his face. He leans down, presses his forehead against hers. “It’ll be okay. I’ll… It’ll be okay.” 

Alicia washes her hands and face in the sink. After letting him calm down a little more, she pushed Pucey towards the shower and handed him some of George’s old clothes she found in the back of her wardrobe. They’re both tall and lanky so they should fit. Alicia sets to making some tea, her hands moving automatically. She can’t stop thinking about the expression of utter terror on Pucey’s face. She feels horrendous about accusing him of willingly joining You-Know-Who, accusing him of being a pureblood extremist. Not even once did she consider that maybe he hadn’t had much of choice when it came to choosing sides. 

“I don’t know what to do with my clothes.” Pucey holds out a bundle of fabric. Alicia didn’t even hear the shower being turned off. His hair is still wet and he looks awfully young. She takes the bloodied clothes and stuffs them into her washing machine. She’d invested in a top range one as well as some industrial strength washing powder, knowing that working at St Mungo’s would leave her clothes horrendously dirty and stained with all sorts of bodily fluids.

Pucey watches her with a blank expression on his face. Alicia thinks that he might be in shock. She steers him to her sofa and then hands him a cup of tea, much stronger and with more sugar than he usually takes. He doesn’t drink it until she tells him to. 

“I think you’re in shock.” Alicia goes to get some chocolate from the kitchen. She could give him a potion but chocolate works just as well and it tastes better. “Eat this.”

Pucey obediently does. He’s getting a bit of colour back into his cheeks and his eyes are a little brighter by the time he’s finished the cup of tea. “Thank you.” His voice is still hoarse. “I better go.”

“You can’t apparate, you’ll splinch yourself.” Alicia takes the empty mug of tea out of his hand. “I don’t have a floo. Come on.” She pulls him up. 

“What are you doing?” Pucey mumbles. Alicia can hear the exhaustion in his voice.

“I am not doing anything. But you are going to sleep. You need to rest.” He looks at her confused but Alicia ignores him. She drags him along by his hand into her bedroom. “You might want to take your jeans off.”

He’s still looking at her blankly so Alicia unbuttons his trousers and pulls them down. She ignores the sudden flush on her face. Alicia gently presses against his shoulders until he’s sitting on her bed. 

“Right. In you get.” She puts on her healer voice to detach herself from the situation. Pucey pulls his legs into the bed and Alicia throws the blanket over him. “Sleep.” He frowns but then closes his eyes. Archibald has snuck into the bedroom with them and he jumps onto the bed. He rolls himself into a tight little ball on Pucey’s legs and goes to sleep. Alicia waits until Pucey’s breath evens out before she leaves. She grabs her pyjama on the way out and then shuts the door to the bedroom quietly behind her.

There’s an owl waiting at her window when Alicia’s finished her shower. She puts her dirty clothes in the washing machine with Pucey’s and turns it on. The owl is from Charlie asking whether she’s alright. There are bloodied clothes in her washing machine and a Death Eater sleeping in her bed. Alicia can’t believe she’s gotten lucky again. She doesn’t even know which god to thank that Charlie didn’t just apparate into her flat to check in with her. Alicia answers the owl and gets some spare bedding out from where she’s keeping it shrunk in a drawer under the TV stand. She settles herself on the sofa and wrecks her brain thinking about how she can help Pucey.


	6. Chapter 6

Alicia wakes up to Archibald meowing behind the closed bedroom door. She rubs her eyes and then quietly opens the door so he can get out and use his litter box. It’s just getting light outside and Alicia curses her bloody cat. At least he didn’t wake up Pucey. She empties the washing machine and uses a nifty dry and folding charm Mrs Weasley taught her a couple of months back. She watches the clothes fold themselves and casts a tempus charm. It’s just gone half past seven. Alicia’s due at work in an hour so she’s going to have to wake up Pucey. She makes a cup of tea and drinks it whilst watching Archibald devour his breakfast. Alicia still doesn’t know how she can help Pucey. The easiest thing would be for him to go into hiding but she doubts his whole family would go with him and he’ll never want to leave them behind. Maybe she should speak to Dumbledore. Or Snape. Snape may be willing to help a former member of his house. 

When she’s finished her cup of tea she makes another one and prepares a couple of slices of toast. She butters them and places them on a small plate. There’s no jam left but Alicia is pretty sure that Pucey’s not going to have much of an appetite after the night he’s had. She grabs a small tray from the cupboard and places the mug and plate on top of it. 

Pucey’s still asleep when she enters the bedroom. He’s almost completely under the covers, only the hair of the very top of his head is showing. Alicia sets down the tray on the bedside table.

“Pucey?” Alicia gently touches the bit of the blanket she thinks covers his shoulder. “Adrian?” She says a little louder. 

Pucey mumbles something and shifts under the cover. Alicia pulls the blanket down a little. Pucey groans and turns over. 

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go to work soon.” 

More grumbling but then Pucey sits up. The blanket falls down to his waist. He’s taken off George’s old jumper at some point during the night. Alicia can’t help but glance over his bare shoulders and chest. When she looks up at his eyes again there’s an intent expression on his face. Alicia can feel her mouth go dry. She clears her throat.

“Are you feeling okay?” 

Pucey nods. “Yeah.” He looks a little embarrassed and oh so soft. There’s no mischievous glint in his eyes, no cheeky grin on his lips. Adrian Pucey is not unflappable, he’s vulnerable and scared. He bared his soul in Alicia’s kitchen last night and she doesn’t quite know what to do now that she’s seen it. 

“I brought you some breakfast.” She gestures at the tray with her measly offerings. “I don’t really have much food at home, sorry.”

“That’s alright. Thank you.” He takes the cup of tea and there’s a small smile on his lips now. Alicia pretends she doesn’t know that he’s probably thinking about her comparing his skin to a perfect cup of tea. 

“I’ve got your clothes in the kitchen. They’re clean.” 

“Thank you.” He puts the cup of tea down and shuffles further towards the middle of the bed. “Can we talk? About last night?” 

Alicia worries her lip. Does he want her to sit on the bed next to him? “Sure.” She awkwardly sits down by his feet, trying to keep some distance between them.

“I don’t know why I came here again. I…Things got really bad last night. But that’s no excuse. I keep dragging you into these things and I shouldn’t. It isn’t fair. I cannot expect you to keep quiet about me forever. We are on opposite sides after all.” He’s looking at his hands in his lap and Alicia just wants to give him a hug. He looks so lost. But that’s not a good idea so she doesn’t move.

“I’m glad you came.” Alicia pulls her legs up onto the bed. “There was a meeting last night. Moo-…erm…We were told that there was a raid taking place. I had to leave. I was so worried that something might have happened to you. So when you showed up I was relieved to see that you were alright.”

“You were worried about me?” He’s still looking at his hands. 

“Yeah. We’re kind of friends now, aren’t we?” 

Pucey finally looks up at her at that. “Is that what we are?”

“Yeah.” It comes out a little breathlessly.

“So is that what you want? To be friends?” 

Alicia nods. She doesn’t mean it though. She does not want to be friends with Adrian Pucey. Alicia doesn’t know what is wrong with her. All she ever wanted was Charlie. Charlie who is kind and sweet and has been her crush for so many years. Charlie who finally wants her back, who finally sees more in her than just his brothers’ best friend. Charlie who makes her flustered with a single touch, who leaves his family to spend time with her on Christmas eve. Charlie who calms her, who thinks she’s going to be a brilliant healer. 

Charlie who doesn’t remember how she likes her cup of tea. Charlie who doesn’t gently hold her waist in a posh night club in Mayfair. Charlie who doesn’t allow himself to be vulnerable in front of her. Alicia is screwed.

“I’ve got to get ready for work.” Alicia mumbles. She leaves him to finish his tea and toast. 

~||~

“Happy New Year!” George slurs into her ear. 

Alicia dodges a wet kiss and pushes him towards Angelina who glares at her but then lets George slobber all over her cheek. She laughs and Alicia hopes they’ll sort themselves out in the new year. 

Fred is opening yet another bottle of sparkling elderflower wine under Lee’s watchful (and plastered) eyes and Oliver is dancing to Celestina Warbeck with Mrs Weasley. He’s red-faced and not quite sure where to put his hands. Bill and Fleur are gliding around the living room too, but their movements are practised and graceful. 

The bells of Big Ben are still chiming over the wireless when Charlie pulls her towards him.

“Happy New Year.” He says softly against her ear and kisses the side of her face. Fred’s wolf-whistling and Alicia blushes furiously. 

“Happy New Year.” She detangles herself from him, not sure how she feels about making out in front of his parents. 

Mrs Weasley has finally released poor Oliver and is now dancing with Mr Weasley. His nose is red from drink and Alicia thinks that they all look flushed. There’s been way too much alcohol. 

“Fireworks!” Fred shouts and then drinks straight from the bottle. Lee laughs and takes it out of his hand to fill a row of glasses. Alicia pulls a face. She is not going to drink something that’s now got Fred spit in it. 

“Fireworks!” George shouts back at his twin and leads the way out into the garden. 

Everyone grabs a glass of sparkling wine as they walk past Lee. Alicia doesn’t. She’s the only one who’s not drunk. She doesn’t want to be too inebriated to think. She doesn’t want to be too out of it to say something she shouldn’t. Alicia knows from experience that every sip of alcohol makes her loosen her tongue. She can’t afford for that to happen anymore. 

It’s positively freezing outside until Mr and Mrs Weasley draw their wands to cast a heating charm over them all. Mr Weasley’s wand is drooping a little and Bill enforces the spell when Mr Weasley’s hand drops. 

“Cheers, Bill.” Mr Weasley says and looks a bit abashed. Mrs Weasley laughs and then fondly kisses her husband’s cheek. Alicia watches them. That’s what she wants. She wants that ease, that trust. 

“I’m going to help the twins set up the fireworks. They are way too drunk to be around explosives.” Charlie says and makes his way further down the garden where the twins and Lee are falling over each other trying to sort out the pyrotechnics. 

Alicia nods and then joins Angelina and Oliver. Angelina’s got a big grin on her face and Oliver looks pleased.

“Any New Year’s resolutions?” Angelina asks and links her arm with Alicia’s. 

“I’m going to try out for the Puddlemere United amateur team.” Oliver grins at them. “They’re looking for a keeper. Screw Moody.”

“Hear, hear!” Angelina laughs and raises her glass for Oliver to clink against. “I am going to stop being stupid.” Her eyes find George and Alicia leans her head against Angelina’s shoulder. 

“Finally.” Oliver drains his glass. “What about you, Al?”

Alicia shrugs. All the resolutions she wants to make she can’t say out loud. Put up anti-apparition wards to stop Pucey from coming to her flat. Heed Snape’s warning and remember what side she’s on. Stop being a bloody moron. “I think I’ll just appreciate what I’ve got.”

“Oh yeah?” Angelina smiles down at her. 

“Mhm.” Alicia watches Charlie put out a small fire on the hem of Fred’s coat. “Because it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

Angelina frowns but she doesn’t say anything about the wistful tone of Alicia’s voice. Alicia hopes that her friend’s too drunk to ever remember how uncertain Alicia sounded. Alicia wishes that all she’s ever wanted is what she still wants now. 

With a whizz and a bang the first firework goes off. The sky is clear and the twins have been under strict instructions to not go crazy as to not make the muggles living in the little village near the Burrow suspicious. But, true to form, they couldn’t resist and five minutes into the display there’s a family of weasels riding a large dragon through the sky.   
Alicia joins in with Angelina’s and Oliver’s laughter. Mrs Weasley is shaking her head but there’s a glint in her eyes. 

Much later Alicia is saying goodbye to everyone and Charlie’s walking her out. He’s been drinking just as much as everyone else but living in Eastern Europe has clearly hardened him to something as trifle as sparkling elderflower wine and the odd shot of the muggle Tequila that Alicia had brought with her and he isn’t as drunk as the rest of his family.

“You’re not too drunk to apparate?” He asks and places gentle kisses down Alicia’s temple towards her neck. His breath is hot on her face and Alicia feels a little light-headed.

“I didn’t actually drink that much. Too much Fred spit.” Charlie laughs softly against her neck. 

“Gross.” He pulls back and want is written all over his face. Alicia knows what he’s going to ask before he opens his mouth. “I could come back with you?”

“If you want to.” 

Charlie frowns. “If I want to?” He looks confused. “Do you want me to?” 

“Sure.” It doesn’t even sound convincing to her. 

“Sure? Merlin, Alicia. I am not going to force myself on you.” He huffs heavily, the air coming out of his mouth visible in the cold night. “I thought you wanted this. The way you were always looking at me, touching me. But since Christmas…” Charlie shrugs. “Something’s changed.”

Alicia doesn’t know what to say. Something has changed indeed. She’s never before been able to compare her feelings for Charlie to anything else. But between endless cups of tea she’s started to develop something for Adrian Pucey. And if Alicia is really honest with herself, comparing her feelings for Charlie with what she feels for Adrian is like comparing a puddle to an ocean. 

“Come back with me.” Alicia whispers. She’s scared of the realisation settling in her heart. She’s scared of what it means for her. “I want you to.” Alicia doesn’t want to swim in an ocean. She doesn’t know whether she’d be able to deal with what’s lurking in the deep, things she’s only seen glimpses of. Things that will drag her under and hold her there until the water fills up her lungs. “I want you to come back with me.” She can’t drown in a puddle.

Charlie looks at her uncertain but then holds on to her arm so she can side-along him. They apparate into her living room and Alicia kisses him. He tastes faintly of Tequila. He’s reluctant to kiss her back but then he does and scoops her up. She wraps her legs around his waist and he carries her into the bedroom. Alicia pulls down her jeans, shrugs out of her jumper. She faces the bed and her head is full of Adrian Pucey looking young and sleepy and soft underneath her covers. Adrian Pucey asking her if she really wants to be friends, the ‘just’ heavy in the space between them. Alicia turns back to Charlie. He’s stripped down to his briefs. 

“I’m not sure whether I’m ready.” Alicia mumbles. She crosses her arms over her bra, goosebumps on her bare legs from the chilly air in the room. 

Charlie closes the distance between them. He doesn’t touch her though, just lightly brushes away a strand of hair from her face. “I don’t think you are.”

“Can we just go to sleep? Is that okay?” 

He nods. They settle underneath the covers. There’s a gap between them, the mere inches feeling like a chasm Alicia doesn’t know how to bridge. 

“I’m sorry.” Alicia really is. She’s pursued Charlie until he finally gave in. And all it took was Adrian Pucey’s cheeky grin and honest eyes for her to change her mind. 

“Don’t be.” Charlie turns onto his side, his eyes intently on hers. “Sometimes a crush just isn’t enough.”

“I do like you, Charlie. You are the kindest person I know. You are strong and gentle and fiercely protective of the people you love.”

“I like you too.” He looks a little sad but not overly surprised that they’re having this talk. They’re breaking up without being in a relationship first. “I suppose I kind of expected this to go the way it has before it even started. It was still worth trying though. I think you’re brilliant, Alicia, but that’s not quite enough either, is it?”

“I’m sorry. I just thought what I feel for you…I thought it is more than it turned out to be.” 

Charlie gives her a weak smile. “Is it someone I know?” He shakes his head when she opens her mouth to deny it. “I’m not an idiot, Alicia. There must be someone who’s made you realise that what you feel for me isn’t quite what you feel for them.” 

“He knows how I like my tea.” She says and Charlie nods like that makes perfect sense. 

“I want you to be happy, Alicia.” He holds out his hand and Alicia grabs it. 

Alicia doesn’t think that allowing herself to be with Adrian will bring her happiness. She’s thinking of him leaning against Colin’s cauldrons with her inside the protective wards of a first aid station healing the people he’s hurt. She wonders how many people he’s hurt to keep himself alive. Alicia’s ashamed of herself that she wants him to keep hurting people as long as it means he stays alive.

“I want you to be happy, too.”

They fall asleep holding hands. 

~||~

The chilly January air brings a flush to her face. Alicia never remembers how bad the air is in London until she’s back in Margate to visit her mother. They are walking down the promenade, both wrapped up in big coats but appreciating the fresh air from the sea.

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out with Charlie.” Her mother says. She’s known about Alicia’s crush on the second oldest Weasley since that summer after fourth year when Alicia hadn’t been able to stop going on about him. 

Alicia shrugs. She’s sorry too. They’d woken up awkwardly that morning after New Year’s eve. Charlie asked her to come back to the Burrow with him for the traditional New Year’s Day breakfast but Alicia had felt too uncomfortable to spend the day with his family. Charlie’d hugged her goodbye and Alicia couldn’t help but feel a little regretful that things had ended between them. She knows it was the right thing to do. Alicia hasn’t been back to the Burrow yet, she’s not seen Fred or George. But she’s certain that Charlie told them about their break up (or whatever you want to call it) before he left for Romania again almost a month ago now. She’s not seen Adrian either. Alicia contemplated sending him an owl but she has no idea what to say.

“I think I just had this set idea in my head that Charlie was the one I wanted to be with. But that was a decision fifteen year old me had made and nineteen year old me obviously feels different.” 

“You’ve grown up a lot, Alicia.” Her mother puts an arm around her and squeezes her once before letting go again. “Especially over the past six months. Working in St Mungo’s is shaping you into a strong young woman.”

Alicia thinks it’s more the work she does for the Order that’s making her stronger, but she doesn’t correct her mother. She doesn’t know about the Order, or at least not that Alicia is part of it. Ever since her dad’s passing, her mother has removed herself more and more from the wizarding world. Her friends are all muggles and she hardly uses magic anymore. When she was younger, Alicia had been sad about the lack of magic in their home but now she’s glad. She’s glad because it’s the best protection from the war for her muggleborn mother. Alicia isn’t sure whether her mum even knows there is a war going on. Alicia hasn’t told her, only drawn up some protective wards over her house and told her to stay vigilant. She’d felt like Moody saying that. 

“I suppose so. It’s a tough job but I love it.” 

“I’m proud of you, Alicia. Your father would be really proud of his little girl too.” Her mother gives her a soft smile and wipes away a tear that they both pretend is from the wind blowing around them. They walk further down the promenade towards her mother’s house. “There’s someone watching us from the other side of the road, Alicia.”

Alicia freezes. She reaches into her pocket, her hand holding on to her wand tightly. “Where?” Alicia follows her mother’s gaze. It’s Adrian.

“Do you know him?” Her mother sounds so unconcerned that Alicia isn’t sure whether it’s a good idea to continue keeping the war a secret from her. 

“I went to school with him.” Alicia replies. Why is Adrian in Margate out of all places? She can’t help but worry that it’s got something to do with her muggleborn mum and possible orders from You-Know-Who.

“Oh, that’s lovely.” And then Alicia’s mother waves at him. 

“Mum!” Alicia scolds.

“What? I don’t really get to meet a lot of your friends.” Adrian looks uncertain even from afar but then he’s crossing the road. 

“I didn’t say he’s my friend.”

Alicia’s mum just shrugs. 

“Hello.” Adrian’s not really dressed for the cold seaside weather but Alicia can make out some heating charms around him. 

“Hello.” She finally lets go of the wand inside her coat pocket. “Mum, this is Pu-Adrian. He was in my year at Hogwarts. Different house though. We played Quidditch against each other.” 

“Nice to meet you, Adrian.” Her mum holds out her hand and Adrian shakes it awkwardly. “Alicia, is this the Adrian who plays too clean of a game to be on the Slytherin team?”

Alicia blushes and Adrian raises an eyebrow at her. Her mum can’t remember her own phone number but of course she remembers something Alicia said years ago. “Yeah, that’s him.”

“I’m not surprised you paid so much attention to him on the pitch.” Her mum smiles broadly. “He’s very handsome.”

“Mum!” Alicia wants to die. Adrian laughs. 

“Thank you, Mrs Spinnet. It’s nice that at least someone in your family can say that to my face and not just admit it to the pizza delivery man.”

Her mum turns to Alicia. “Is that so?” Alicia briefly considers disapparating. “Well, if you haven’t any other plans, you might as well come along for a cup of tea? It’s getting horribly cold.”

“Thank you. I’d love a cup of tea.” He holds out his arm and her mum grabs on to it. She looks delighted. Alicia walks a couple of steps behind them only half-heartedly listening to their chatter about the weather and the drawbacks of living by the seaside during the winter months. 

They peel out of their heavy winter coats when they get into the hallway of her mother’s small bungalow a few roads back from the seafront. Her mum goes straight into the kitchen and Alicia leads Adrian into the living room. 

“What are you doing in Margate?” She asks not caring that it comes out too sharp.

Adrian holds up his hands as if she’s a horse he’s trying to calm down. “I was at my second cousin’s house. The squib I told you about? I visit about twice a month to make sure the wards around his home are still intact. There’s been some…” He glances over his shoulder. “You might want to draw up some stronger wards around your mother’s home.” 

“Right.” Alicia makes a mental note to ask Moody or Tonks to help her do that. Maybe even Shacklebolt.

“Alicia, don’t just let Adrian stand here.” Her mum walks in with a tray full of cups, a pot of tea, sugar, milk and biscuits. “Do take a seat, Adrian.”

Adrian smiles at her mother and sits down on the sofa. Alicia takes a seat on the armchair across from him. 

“I’ve only got store bought biscuits, I’m afraid. They are from Waitrose though.” Her mum says and Adrian continues to smile at her as if he knew what Waitrose was. 

“That’s perfect, thank you, Mrs Spinnet.” He graciously accepts a proffered piece of shortbread. 

Alicia leans forward and pours the tea. Without thinking she prepares Adrian’s cup how she knows he likes it. He thanks her. There’s a knowing smile on her mum’s lips when Alicia hands her a cup too. Alicia ignores it. 

“No saucers here either.” Alicia says and Adrian just grins at her. 

“Either?” Her mum says, her gaze going back and forth between Alicia and Adrian. 

Alicia swears internally. She decides to pretend she didn’t hear her mother and fills her mouth with shortbread instead.

“So, Adrian, what brings you to lovely Margate?” Her mother asks sweetly. 

“I’ve got family in town. They live more towards the centre though. I just fancied a walk down by the seafront, so…anyway. You probably don’t know them, they’re not magical.” Adrian sips on his tea.

“Oh, I might. I work at the Lloyd’s in town. Most locals bank with us so they probably do too.”

“Mum, he doesn’t know what Lloyd’s is.” Alicia says between bites of shortbread.

“I assume it’s a muggle bank?” 

“That’s right. I don’t know whether Alicia told you but I don’t have much to do with the wizarding world anymore.” Adrian doesn’t give away anything at her mother’s words. “Don’t really keep up with it either, I’m afraid. Alicia tells me the odd bit of news but she’s really busy at work so we’ve not had much time to catch up.”

Adrian frowns. “So you don’t know about-“

“No.” Alicia cuts him off before he can finish his sentence. She will not talk about the war now. If she decides to fill her mother in it will be without a Death Eater drinking tea and eating shortbread in her living room.

Her mum gives her a confused look but doesn’t say anything. “What do you do, Adrian, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Adrian looks a bit embarrassed. “Not much, to be honest. I’m thinking about maybe completing a Mastery in Transfiguration but haven’t decided yet.”

“He doesn’t really have to work, mum. Lady of leisure and all that.” Alicia mumbles and Adrian gives her an easy smile, not offended in the least.

“Ah, I see. Old family.” Her mother nods knowingly. She glances at the clock on the wall. “Oh dear, I promised I’d let out the neighbours’ dog.” She puts down her cup of tea. “They’re in Magaluf, you know. Lovely couple but shouldn’t really have a dog with all the travelling they do. I won’t be too long.” She gives them a smile. “Alicia, why don’t you show Adrian around the house?”

Alicia is pretty sure that it’s an old lady who lives next door. An old lady who doesn’t own a dog and definitely has never even heard of Magaluf. But calling her mother out on her pitiful lie is more embarrassing than sitting in awkward silence with Adrian. 

So Alicia watches her mum leave and turns towards him. “I’m not showing you around.”

Adrian pushes out his lower lip. It should look ridiculous but it doesn’t. “Come on, Spinnet. I bet your bedroom is plastered with posters of Viktor Krum and Lockhart.”

Alicia glares at him. She puts down the piece of shortbread she’d planned on eating and gets up. Alicia walks towards the living room door. She turns around, Adrian’s still on the sofa. “What are you waiting for? An invitation by owl?” 

Adrian spends way too long looking at every single picture of Alicia hanging on the walls on the way to her old bedroom. “No baby pictures?” 

Alicia shakes her head. “I mean, there are, but they’re all magical. Mum can’t hang them up.” She shrugs. “And I don’t think she wants to. It reminds her too much of dad.”

“What happened?” Adrian asks softly.

“He died when I was two. Some experimental spell backfired on him. Nobody ever confirmed it to my mum, but we’re pretty sure he was an Unspeakable.” 

Adrian looks at her empathetically. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I don’t really remember him.” Alicia continues walking towards her room. “But it’s why mum stopped using magic.” She pulls open the door to her old room. “There. No posters of Krum. Or Lockhart.” 

Alicia’s only moved out after graduation so her room still looks like it did whilst she was at Hogwarts. There’s way too much stuff crammed into the small space, the walls are covered in photos, both magic and muggle and her broom is perched on top of her wardrobe. 

“Wow.” Adrian’s busy trying to take everything in. “That’s…You have a lot things.”

Alicia shrugs. “It only looks like that because it’s a small room. Not all of us grew up in a mansion.”

“I never said I grew up in a mansion.”

Alicia rolls her eyes. “Did you not?”

Adrian grins. “Well, I did. But it was very rude of you to just assume.”

“Correctly assume though.” Alicia sits down on her old bed. “I’ve not had time to sort through it yet. I’ll have to move it into my flat sooner or later.”

“There’s not enough space in your flat for all of…that.” 

“Fuck off, Pucey.” She can’t help but smile. Adrian’s fascinated by the things in her room. He picks up an old gameboy and studies it with furrowed brows. 

“What’s that?” 

“A gameboy.”

He puts it down again. “Sounds kinky. What about this?” He points at Alicia’s old straighteners. “Looks like some sort of torture device.”

“It’s a hair straightener.”

“Pretty sure there’s a spell for that.” He walks towards the wall that’s littered with photographs. “You should ask Miles. He knows way too many hair spells. Not that you need them. Your hair looks nice as it is.” He’s only half facing Alicia but she thinks he’s blushing a little. 

“Thank you.” 

Adrian studies the photos for a while but then goes to look out of the window. “Your mum’s talking to an old lady.” He faces Alicia. “There’s no dog, is there?”

Alicia can feel herself blush. “Afraid not. Sorry about that.” She focuses on the hem of her cardigan. “She thinks she’s being sneaky. I told her about breaking up with…” Alicia clears her throat. “Anyway. Sorry.”

“You broke up with Charlie Weasley?”

“How…?”

Adrian shrugs. He crosses his arms in front of him. “Process of elimination. You were kissing a Weasley on Halloween. It wasn’t going to be the curse breaker one as he’s with that French girl from the Triwizard tournament. I know you’re just friends with the twins and the other one is a bit young.”

“There’s also Percy.” Alicia says weakly.

“Please.” Adrian snorts. 

Alicia sits down further back on her bed so she can lean against the wall. “We weren’t really dating, to be honest. Just…trying, I suppose.”

“Sorry it didn’t work out.” 

“Are you?”

Adrian straightens the curtains. “Your mother is coming back over. We should probably go back to the living room again.”

Her mum ends up inviting Adrian to stay for dinner and then there’s more tea after that. Alicia doesn’t say much, but neither her mum nor Adrian seem to notice. They happily chat about sailing, which Alicia didn’t know her mum was so interested in. It’s the first time she’s mentioned it and Alicia is a bit embarrassed at how difficult it is for her to speak to her mum about her life before Alicia was born and when her dad was still around. 

When their cups are empty, Alicia readies herself to go. Adrian gets up with her.

“Thank you, Mrs Spinnet, for dinner and the tea. And the biscuits.” He holds out his hand and her mum shakes it enthusiastically. 

“Of course. You must come round again.” She smiles at Alicia.

“I’m sure he’s got better things to do than drink tea with you, mum.” Regardless of how Alicia feels about Adrian, the thought of him spending time here and maybe drawing somebody else’s attention to her muggleborn mum makes her uncomfortable.

“Thank you again.” Adrian says, ignoring Alicia’s comment. 

There’s anti-apparition wards on her mum’s bungalow so they enter the garden through the conservatory. Alicia can see her mum watching them through the living room window.

“Do you want to side-along?” Adrian asks and there’s definitely a blush on his tan skin now.

Alicia ignores the nervous flutter in her stomach. “Are we going to the same place?”

Adrian clears his throat. “Well, I’ve seen your flat and your childhood bedroom. It’d be only fair to show you mine.”

“I don’t think I should visit the family manor.”

“Probably not. But that’s not where I was planning on taking you.” He holds out his arm. 

Alicia knows she’ll never hear the end of it from her mum if they disapparate together now. And yet she puts her arm over his and holds on tightly.

~||~

They reappear in a large sitting room. One side of the room is made entirely out of glass and overlooking what must be Hyde Park. The furniture is simple but no doubt expensive. Alicia is certain her whole flat would easily fit into this room alone.

“Of course you live in Knightsbridge.” Alicia runs her hand along the back of a velvety chaise-lounge. It’s light blue and quite possibly the most beautiful piece of furniture she’s ever seen. 

“My father bought the flat for me as a graduation gift.”

Alicia smirks. Her mum got her a trip to Scarborough she won’t be able to go on until the war is over. Then again, she did get a flat as well. Just that it’s tiny and old and, well, not overlooking Hyde Park. 

“So will you show me around?”

Adrian does. He shows her the second sitting room, the small library, the kitchen he’s never been in and the bathroom. He shows her the guest room, the second guest room and the large dining room. They walk up to the only door not opened yet and Alicia knows that this must be his bedroom. Her stomach is in knots. 

“Don’t laugh.” Adrian says and leads her into his bedroom.

Alicia can’t help it. She laughs. “You are fucking kidding me.” She says between bursts of laughter. “I…” She can’t stop giggling. “That’s Viktor Krum.” 

Adrian shrugs. On the far side of the room next to a four-poster bed is a huge poster of the Bulgarian seeker. “Marcus got it for me as a joke gift. We got drunk one night and Miles hung it up using a permanent sticking charm.” 

Alicia is still grinning broadly as she walks up to the poster. She reaches up to it and Krum zooms away from her hand. “Have you got one of Lockhart too?” Alicia turns around and Adrian’s standing way too close to her. “Oh.” 

“I know why I keep coming to your flat.” Adrian says, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“You do?” Alicia’s hands feel clammy. 

“It’s not just because I trust you. You… I show up and you look at me like…I don’t know. I just know that as long as you can look at me like that I’m okay. I’m not too far gone, there’s still someone who can look at me without disgust at who I’ve become.” He briefly wets his lips with his tongue and Alicia feels like she’s on fire. “I know I said that night that I don’t want to hurt anyone. But I have… There’s so many people I’ve hurt to stay alive. Because I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die and never see you look at me that way again.”

His words unlock something deep inside of her. Alicia can almost feel the water fill her lungs when she reaches up to pull his face close. His hands settle on her waist. The first brush of their lips is short. They both break away from each other almost instantly again. 

“Alicia…” Adrian says her name like it’s a prayer and then he kisses her properly. She presses her body against his, the need to feel him close unbearably intense. She’s never wanted somebody this much in all her life. She’s ready to drown.

Alicia doesn’t realise that she’s been pushing him towards the bed until he sits down, Alicia standing between his legs. Adrian pulls away from her.

“What do you want, Alicia?” 

There’s only one answer in her head. “This. You.” 

For a moment he looks almost sad but then he reaches up to unbutton Alicia’s cardigan. He lets it drop to the floor and Alicia pulls her top over her head and lets it join the cardigan. Adrian takes off his jumper too. His skin is a warm brown, just like a perfect cup of tea. Alicia undoes the button on her jeans and shakily pulls them down. 

“Adrian?” He’s just staring at her and Alicia isn’t quite sure what to do next. She feels self-conscious, aware that her bra is covering boobs only a cup away from barely there. She’s aware of the patch of stubble on her thigh that her shaving charm has missed. Aware that her hair is a tad on the greasy side and probably could have done with a wash this morning. But Adrian doesn’t seem to be aware of any of that. He just looks at her as if he’s trying to memorise her body like a Transfiguration formula. 

Then his eyes find hers and he pulls her down towards him. Alicia straddles him and leans over so that they can kiss. His skin is soft and warm under her hands. Adrian kisses her cheek, the line of her jaw and down her neck. His hands wander down her back and cup her bum gently. 

“Are you sure you want this?” He asks against her collarbone. Alicia nods. She knows she’d only embarrass herself by trying to get the words out. 

He lifts her up and places her on her back. Adrian stands up to get rid off his trousers. Alicia shuffles further towards the centre of the bed. Adrian looks at her again and Alicia would give anything to be be able to read his mind right now. He almost seems conflicted and it’s really not doing anything for her confidence.

“Do you?” She finally asks, her voice just as shaky as she expected. Alicia wonders where her Gryffindor bravery has disappeared to.

“I’ve never wanted anything more.” The want in his voice sets Alicia’s skin on fire. 

Adrian kisses her again and his hands disappear underneath her. He gently lifts her upper body and Alicia can feel him undoing her bra. She moves her arms so he can take it off. She feels like she should apologise for her poor excuse of a pair of tits but then Adrian’s kissing down her collarbone. When his mouth is over her nipple she forgets what she wanted to apologise for. She moans softly and Adrian shifts. Alicia can feel his erection against her leg. Only when his hand disappears into her knickers she remembers that maybe she should tell him that she’s a virgin. 

“Adrian…” It comes out as a moan when his fingers lightly brush against her soft centre. “Adrian.” She says again and this time he looks up at her. His eyes are dark and Alicia swallows heavily. “I’ve not done this before.” 

“Oh.” He stops moving his hand and Alicia wishes she’d have bitten her tongue. “Do you want me to stop?”

“God, no.” It comes out a little desperate but Alicia doesn’t care. “I just wanted you to know.”

Adrian looks at her intently and for a moment Alicia is sure he’s going to stop regardless of what she’s said but then he continues moving his fingers against her. Alicia gently grabs the back of his neck and pulls him towards her so they can kiss again. Unlike Alicia, Adrian seems to know exactly what he’s doing and soon Alicia is breathing heavily against his mouth. 

“That alright?” He asks huskily and Alicia nods. When Alicia pushes her hips against his hand he increases the pressure of his fingers and speeds up a little. Every time Alicia feels like she ought to feel embarrassed about the noises she’s making, he’s touching her in a way that just shortcuts her brain, leaving no braincells to worry about the sounds leaving her mouth. He’s kissing her, but Alicia can’t get her lips to function. Adrian smiles against her and then proceeds to kiss and lick and suck and do a hundred different things that just feel amazing to her neck and collarbone. All the while his fingers are a study of opposites against her. They are gentle and rough, soft and hard and continuously urging her on. 

“I…uh…” Her eyes flutter shut. Alicia feels her body clench and then she lets go, one hand buried in the hair on to the back of Adrian’s head, the other holding on to the silken duvet tightly as she comes. When she opens her eyes again Adrian is looking at her intently. 

“You are so beautiful.” He says and then kisses her again, deeply and hungrily. He pulls down her soaked knickers and discards them over the side of the bed. “Merlin.” Then his underwear is off. Alicia just stares. Adrian’s all angles and sharp edges. He’s tall and lanky yet perfectly proportioned. The skin of his body is slightly lighter than on his face and arms but still a warm brown. He’s defined but not overly muscly, the body of an athlete from years of playing Quidditch. Alicia feels like she’s looking at a painting. Something she’s not meant to touch because it’ll get her in trouble. She runs her hands down his chest, over his stomach and the soft trail of hair leading towards his groin. Adrian is so worth getting in trouble for.

“There are erm spells. I’m not sure of the one witches use…I can do…” His voice trails off.

Alicia wills her brain to function again. Of course she should have thought of that. “Uh sure.” She’s got no idea where her wand is. Adrian’s got his in hand already, wordlessly performing a spell on himself.

“You can use mine.” He offers her his wand and she takes it. 

Alicia performs a contraceptive charm over the lower half of her stomach. It’s the one that Pomfrey had taught them in fifth year. She hands Adrian his wand again. There’s an awkward moment but then he’s kissing her again and gently parts her legs with his hand.   
Alicia is sure that he must be able to feel her heart beating. She really wants this but she’s also really nervous. Angelina has told her that it hurts a little at first. 

“Adrian…” She says softly and his eyes are on hers instantly. Alicia is placated that he’s clearly paying close attention to every move she makes, every utterance out of her mouth. 

“I’ll be gentle.” He kisses her forehead lightly before backing up a little. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He’s between her legs now, carefully lining himself up. “I don’t ever want to hurt you.” 

When he first pushes in it just feels uncomfortable. Alicia frowns and he stops. He gives her time to get used to the sensation, stroking her thigh gently. Her frown eases and he gently pushes into her further. Alicia spreads her legs a bit more to accommodate him. Adrian leans forward and kisses her as he inserts himself fully. There’s a sharp pain and Alicia gasps. Adrian freezes.

“It’s okay.” She says against his lips. “Just…just give me a second.” Alicia takes a few deep breaths. Adrian’s skin is hot against hers. She nods. “Alright.” He starts moving slowly. At first it’s uncomfortable and every time Alicia shifts he stops. But after a while of that it starts feeling alright, even good. Not as good as his fingers did but feeling him breathe faster and faster against her neck is incredibly hot and it makes it feel fantastic. 

Adrian lifts her hips a little and Alicia wraps her legs around his waist. He enters her more deeply but instead of feeling uncomfortable again, it just feels good. 

“Okay?” He leans back and the sheen of sweat on his upper body glimmers in the light. Alicia thinks he looks beautiful but she’s too embarrassed to actually say that so she just nods to answer his question. Adrian speeds up and his breathing intensifies again. He continuous kissing her and his hands are wandering her body, caressing her breasts, squeezing her bum. “You feel so good.” Adrian says against her ear and Alicia never thought that words could feel this great.

“You…this feels good too.” Alicia doesn’t quite know how to express how she feels because whatever sentence she can put together will always be a complete understatement of how he is making her feel. “Really good.”

But what she’s saying seems to be okay, because then his movements become slightly erratic. His fingers are digging into her waist and he swears softly as he comes. Alicia can’t take her eyes off him, her body filled with a myriad of feelings she can’t quite get her head around. 

Adrian pulls out gently and places little breathless kisses all over her body. Eventually he sinks onto the bed next to her and pulls her close.

“Okay?” He asks again and Alicia nods. They kiss until Alicia can feel his lips turn into a broad smile. “Well, this definitely beats watching muggle television.”

Alicia can’t help but laugh and she punches his shoulder lightly. “I would bloody well hope so.”

“You are alright, yes?” He asks again.

“Yes. You don’t have to keep asking me, Pucey.” She smiles because she does appreciate him asking. Alicia shifts a little, she feels very sticky and a little achey.

“I feel like we should be on first name basis now.” Adrian says and places a kiss on her temple. “Unless calling me Pucey is something that turns you on. Then I’m fine with using surnames.” He nuzzles against her neck. It tickles and Alicia laughs softly.

“It’s not.” Alicia runs her fingers lightly over his upper arm. “Adrian.”

He smiles. “Right. Let me do something about the stickiness.” He grabs his wand and Alicia watches him worriedly. “There’s a variation of Scourgify that Miles has shown me in third year.” There’s a wicked grin on his face. “I’m sure you know what boys are like.”

“Gross, Pucey.” 

“I thought we agreed on first names.”

“Gross, Adrian.”

He laughs and then softly waves his wand over them. Alicia can feel the familiar cooling sensation of the cleaning charm but it’s much softer and, well, very thorough. It leaves a tingling feeling behind. She shudders. “I’m sure there’s a better version for girls.”

Adrian snorts. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright.” She moves closer again, relieved they won’t need to leave the bed for a shower.

“Are you going to stay?” Adrian asks against the side of her face. 

“If you want me to. I’m not due at work until tomorrow afternoon.” 

“I do want you to.” He holds her closely. 

Alicia is starting to feel extremely tired. Adrian’s whispering words into her ear but she can’t quite comprehend them. He says something about keeping her safe and she falls asleep feeling just that. Alicia feels safe.


	7. Chapter 7

Alicia can’t stop smiling. 

“Spinnet, pull yourself together.” Maggie snarls at her before she opens the door to the Curses ward. “I will not have you grinning like a maniac at somebody who’s just been hit by a dark curse.” 

“I’m sorry.” Alicia looks down at her feet. Probably not very professional of her. This is a somber place after all. 

“Good.” She grins back at Alicia. “But you better tell me who has got you smiling like that when we’re going on break.”

Alicia just shrugs and follows Maggie into the ward. The air glimmers with the shielding wards between the hospital beds. There’s been a large increase in the amount of muggles they’ve been treating and the St Mungo’s staff has been forced to employ disillusionment charms to make sure the muggles wouldn’t freak out by all the magic going on around them. They’ll still need to be obliviated after their stay but the less they’ll see, the cleaner and less intrusive the obliviation will be. 

They work their way through the patients on the ward, casting diagnostic spells and Maggie clears three muggles for obliviation. One of them is heavily scarred from a flaying hex and Alicia wonders what cover story the obliviators will come up with for the young woman. 

“Healer Stratford told me that you are spending quite a lot of time with a patient on ward D?” Maggie says and makes some notes on the diagnostic chart of a witch who’d been hit by a version of a stinging hex that keeps flaring up on her arm. So far they’ve only been able to ease the symptoms but not reverse it. 

“Yeah. One of my best friends has been cursed by some necklace.” Alicia applies some soothing lotion on the witch’s forearm. 

“Oh. I heard about that when she came in.” Maggie worries her lip. “There’s been no change?”

Alicia shakes her head. “Same since October.” They share a long look. Both of them know that the chances of Katie ever waking up are getting slimmer by the day. It’s been almost four months now and she’s yet to even move a finger. 

Maggie turns to the patient. “We’ll keep you in until tomorrow evening. If we haven’t been able to reverse it by then, we’ll give you plenty of soothing lotion to use at home.”

“You’ll stop trying?” The witch doesn’t sound angry, just resigned.

“Our research staff will continue to look into it. But we need the bed I’m afraid. You’ll be asked to come in once a week for check ups.” Maggie scribbles something else on the chart and then she and Alicia move on. 

“Are we running out of beds?” Alicia frowns. The ward doesn’t seem fuller than usual.

Maggie purses her lips. “It’s been too quiet. No outright attacks like we had on Halloween.” She shrugs. “Feels like the quiet before the storm, you know what I mean?”

Alicia nods. She knows that Moody and Shacklebolt have been expecting a retaliation attack ever since the raid on the warehouse by the docks. Everyone’s been holding their breaths a little, not sure when the next attack will be. Shacklebolt thinks that they’re gearing up for a ministry take-over but Moody is convinced that the next attack will be aimed at Harry. He’s been sending aurors up to Hogwarts since the beginning of the school year. 

Maggie twirls her wand. “Right. I think we’ll be okay with the staff that’s on today. I know you’ve got some overtime so why don’t you take the rest of the day off? You could go visit your friend on ward D?” Her mentor smiles at her. “Or the wizard who’s put that smile on your face?” 

Alicia blushes. She won’t go to see Adrian. She’s only left his place just before midday to go home for a shower and a change of clothes. They’d spent all morning in bed and his house elf had made them a lavish breakfast. Going back not even five hours after leaving would definitely make her look desperate. But she can go and visit Katie.

~||~

Mr and Mrs Bell have finally manage to sort out their insurance and were able to move Katie into a private room. Now they can spend the night whenever they want and don’t have to adhere to the strict visitation hours anymore. It’s also lead to Alicia spending most of her lunch times sitting in Katie’s room and, when she’s on night shifts, sneak into her room for a quick snooze.

Alicia pushes the door to Katie’s room open and swears softly. Fred and George are sitting by her bed. She’s done so well in avoiding all the Weasleys since New Year’s Eve. She quietly moves backwards.

“Don’t you dare, Spinnet.” Fred calls from the bed. 

Alicia sighs and walks over to the two of them. “Hello.”

“So mum thinks she’s somehow deeply offended you because she can’t think of any other reason as to why you would stop coming around.” George says. He looks a little annoyed and Alicia’s stomach drops. George is never annoyed with her. 

“Didn’t Charlie…” Alicia doesn’t quite know how to phrase it.

“No, Charlie did not.” George huffs. “Charlie said that he only side-alonged you back to your flat and then decided to stay at the headquarters in case something would come up. Because he wouldn’t stay at your flat seeing as you both are nothing but friends and no he definitely has not been sneaking off to make out with you in the run up to Christmas.”

Fred is watching his brother with an impressed expression on his face. “Somebody’s pissed off.”

“So I’d really like to know why you’ve been avoiding my family for a month now.” 

“I just feel awkward.” Alicia plays with the throw on Katie’s bed. Katie is not moving at all, she could be sleeping if it weren’t for the glimmer of the charm that’s keeping her eyes closed over her face. “We tried to be something more than friends but it didn’t work.”

“What didn’t work? You or him?” 

“Not sure that’s any of our business, George.”

“It’s alright, Fred. I suppose it was both of us.” Alicia lets go of the throw. “I felt so stupid about it all. Still do. I really thought Charlie was who I wanted but I think it was all just based on this crush I’d had for years. And that wasn’t quite enough.”

“So it’s not because of somebody else?” George still looks annoyed and Alicia wonders whether Charlie actually did tell him more than he’s letting on. They’re closest after all. Well, after him and Fred obviously. 

Alicia shakes her head. “No.” There’s no way that she’ll be able to tell any of them about Adrian. 

“Alright. I just think it’s a shame it didn’t work out.” George gives her a weak smile. “I don’t blame you.”

Fred rolls his eyes. “He’s just pissed off that we can’t marry all of the old Quidditch team into our family.”

Alicia laughs. “Was that the plan?” 

George shrugs. “Would have been nice.”

“It’s not going to work. Who’ll marry Katie and Oliver?” Alicia giggles. “You’ll get Harry because of Ginny but I don’t know about anybody else.”

“Harry?” George says at the same time as Fred says “Ginny?” and Alicia laughs even harder. Oblivious boys, the lot of them.

“Not going to say anything else. Your sister is the scariest Weasley, hands down.” Alicia grins. That reminds her she really ought to return all of Ginny’s clothes soon.

“Whatever.” George rolls his eyes. “Are you going to come back to the Burrow with us for dinner? Mum’s really keen to see you.”

Alicia worries her lip. She’s not sure whether she’s quite ready for that. But then again, she also doesn’t want Mrs Weasley to feel like she’s done something wrong. “Alright. Let me just get changed out of my healer’s robes.”

~||~

Fred side-alongs her to the Burrow and Alicia is surprised to see Snape talk with Mr Weasley and Moody in the garden. 

“Alicia!” Mrs Weasley gives her a warm hug and it almost hurts her heart that she was too much of a coward to come back to the Burrow sooner. “It’s so lovely to see you. George told me you were really busy at St Mungo’s.”

Alicia looks up over Mrs Weasley’s shoulder and George is smiling at her. “Yeah, it’s been busy.” She gratefully returns his smile. 

“You must stay for dinner.” Mrs Weasley squeezes her tightly one last time before letting go. 

“I will. Thank you, Mrs Weasley.” Alicia can see Moody and Mr Weasley walking back towards the house. Snape is still out there. “I just have to speak to Professor Snape real quick.”

George frowns but Alicia ignores him. She doesn’t know when she’ll see the Potions teacher again and she needs to ask him how to help Adrian. 

“Professor Snape!” Alicia calls just as he’s turning around to disapparate.

“Miss Spinnet. Any more newly developed dark curses you want to tell me about?” His voice is dripping acid and Alicia flinches. Why does he always have to be so horrible?

“No.” She takes a deep breath, not quite sure how to phrase it without giving Adrian away. “I want to ask you a question. Please. Erm. It’s hypothetical.”

“Of course.” Alicia can tell he doesn’t believe a single word that’s coming out of her mouth. 

“Right. If I had a friend who’s hypothetically joined a…erm…club that he doesn’t want to be a part of any longer, would you be able to get him out?” 

“Did he join this ‘club’ of his own volition?” 

“Well kind of. He didn’t have much of a choice though.”

“And you are certain he wants to leave?”

“Yes. He’s just worried because it’s not an easy club to leave.” Alicia watches Snape absentmindedly touch his left forearm. “Some say it’s impossible. But he’s not been given the…you know.”

“That doesn’t really make a difference.” Snape crosses his arms. “Who is it, Miss Spinnet?”

“I don’t want to say. I just wondered whether I could tell him to seek help from you. Or whether you can get him out.”

Snape regards her for a long moment. There’s a slight pressure behind her forehead but Alicia ignores it. She’s definitely not been drinking enough water today. 

“Let me be frank with you, Miss Spinnet.” His eyes are deadly cold. “Your ‘friend’ may have already done things that will be hard if not impossible to recover from. Mark or no mark, the Dark Lord will not let anybody leave his ranks at this critical stage. I doubt he will be without the mark for much longer.” Alicia feels faint. “I strongly advise you to sever ties with this friend lest you put yourself in danger. We need you as a healer.” He turns away from her. “Stop being such a bloody Gryffindor. You can’t safe everyone.” He disapparates with a sharp crack.

Alicia is sure that Mrs Weasley’s dinner tastes lovely but she can’t really focus on anything but Snape’s words. She hadn’t expected a solution from him but at least some sort of advice on how to help Adrian. Well, screw Snape. Alicia might not be able to safe everyone but she will safe Adrian. 

“Jones and Lupin were discovered last night.” Moody grumbles. 

Alicia snaps out of her thoughts and pays attention to what’s going on around her at the table.

“Are they alright?” Mrs Weasley asks and makes everyone take another helping of roast potatoes.

“Yeah, fine. Somehow the Death Eaters have discovered that we’ve been staking out Borgin and Burkes.” Moody glowers. “Well, it was only a matter of time.” 

“We didn’t really catch them doing anything anyway.” Fred says. He’s hated going back there ever since the attack on Lee. “There must be another way into the shop.”

“They probably just apparate into it.” George steals a piece of carrot off Alicia’s plate.

“They can’t. It’s too crowded a shop and the sudden surge of magic might set off one of the dark artefacts.” Moody turns to Mr Weasley. “How are we doing on getting them to hand over a complete inventory?”

Mr Weasley shrugs. “Not good. They’ve handed in two since November, one more unlikely than the other. We’ll never get a complete list, we need aurors with a search warrant if we really want to find out what’s there.”

“No chance of that?” Alicia asks.

“Not since we know that the aurors have been infiltrated. Can’t really keep a shop raid a secret in the DMLE so they’d have plenty of warning.” Moody huffs. “Was the same with the raid on Malfoy manor. Lucius Malfoy was pretty much waiting at the door to let us in.” 

“We’ll have to start security questions soon.” Mr Weasley adds sadly and he and his wife share a long look.

“Security questions?” George looks at his father confused. “For what?”

“To make sure everyone really is who they say they are.” Moody noisily chews on a piece of pork and Alicia pulls a face. “Snape’s said that there’s been a big surge in the price of polyjuice ingredients.”

“And if they’re not polyjuiced they may be under the Imperius curse.” Mrs Weasley says quietly.

“Yeah.” Moody puts his fork down. “I should probably send a message to Kingsley and Dumbledore. We should start security questions immediately. Possibly also think about setting up safe houses. Put anti-apparition wards in place where we can.”

Alicia flinches. Moody is going to kill her. “Erm, Moody… I was wondering whether you could help me set one up over my place?”

“Set what up?” Moody scowls at her.

“An anti-apparition ward.”

It’s gone deadly quiet. 

“Please tell me that you are joking.” Moody growls and Alicia shakes her head. “So you are telling me that our most accessible healer could have had Death Eaters apparating straight into her kitchen all this time?”

Alicia doesn’t miss the irony of it. “The flat is muggle. It’s in my grandmother’s name. I thought that’d be enough protection but it sounds like it’s getting worse.”

“I can’t believe it.” Moody gets to his feet. “We are going. Right now. Arthur, is Bill around?” 

“He’s at the cottage.” 

“Can you tell him to come over? He’s the best that we have at setting up wards. Apart from Lupin but it’s too close to the full-moon.” Moody then continues to grumble about Alicia’s stupidity.

George reaches for Alicia’s hand under the table. “You okay?” He whispers.

Alicia nods. “He’s right. I’ve been stupid.”

“Who knows where you live, Spinnet?” Moody focuses both his eyes on her which is frankly terrifying. 

“My mother. Angelina, Oliver, Lee, Fred, George.” She swallows and doesn’t meet Mrs Weasley’s eyes. “Charlie.”

“Anyone else?” 

Alicia shakes her head. “St Mungo’s only sends owls, they never asked for a place of residence. I’m not on the floo.”

“Alright. It might be worth running a tracing spell on magical signatures just to make sure nobody else has been in your flat.” Moody pensively tips his wand against his thigh. 

“I don’t know whether that’s really necessary. I’ve only been in there for just over half a year.” Alicia really does not want Moody to run that spell. It wouldn’t tell him about the Slytherins but Alicia would have to explain three additional magical signatures in her flat. And he’d be suspicious as to why she’d been lying about who knows of the flat.

“It might still have signatures from the previous owner.” Mr Weasley says earnestly and Alicia could kiss him. Moody doesn’t say anything further about the spell.

When Bill arrives the three of them apparate straight to her flat. Bill is also annoyed with her not saying anything sooner about not having wards but he’s not as angry as Moody had been. Alicia watches them set up the wards.

“I’ve checked and there’s no other wizards or witches in the building.” Moody looks at Archibald with his magical eye. “We’ve set the ward up over the whole building so you’ll have to apparate from a quiet side-street.” 

“Right. Thank you.” 

Archibald meows at Moody. “That’s not a kneazle.”

“No. Just a cat.” 

Bill tries to pet Archibald and he hisses at the oldest Weasley brother. “Lovely cat.”

“He’s not very friendly.” 

“Looks like he might have some cat-sith in him.” Moody says conversationally.

“Sith? Are you saying my cat’s a dark force user?” Neither Bill nor Moody get her Star Wars reference.

“Fairy cats. Evil buggars. They’re drawn to dark magic. Kneazles warn you from people who bring you harm. Cat-siths cuddle up to them.” 

“Great. Well, he does tolerate me so does that make me a dark witch?”

“It makes you the person who feeds him.” Bill laughs.

“Well, we’re done here.” Moody regards Alicia intently. “You should have thought about the wards much sooner. There wasn’t a single protective layer over your flat. It’s stupid. You can’t risk your life like that.”

Alicia nods meekly. Adrian had said the same but she knows that he and Moody come from two complete different points of view on the value of her life. For one she’s a first aid kit, for the other she’s, well, she’s something else. Bill and Moody leave through the door and Alicia can hear them cast some additional protective spells on her door. She waits until she can see them leave the block of flats before she sends her patronus to Adrian to tell him about the wards. Alicia doesn’t know what happens to someone who tries to apparate to a place that’s warded and she’s not keen to let Adrian be the one who finds out for her.

~||~

“Wards, huh?” Adrian asks her when she meets him across the street from St Mungo’s the following evening.

Alicia nods. “Moody was furious.” 

“I don’t blame him. You should have had wards in place much sooner.” He holds out his hand to her and they walk down a quiet side-street. “You might want to look into making it unplottable.”

“Not sure it’ll be worth it. I can’t do that by myself and Moody hardly has time to do everything else he’s meant to.” She shrugs. “We’re starting security questions now.”

“Oh yeah?” Adrian’s looking over her shoulder to make sure nobody is watching them.

“Mhm. Never know who’s under an Imperius or polyjuiced.” 

“Not a bad idea.” Adrian pulls her closer. “Ready?” Alicia nods and they disapparate.

“So do you not have any wards on your place?” Alicia asks once her stomach has settled from the side-along.

Adrian has apparated them into his sitting room again. “I do. But they are blood wards. Anyone who is part of my bloodline can apparate in but nobody else.” 

Alicia pulls a face. That sounds like dark magic to her. Archibald would probably love that. “Right. Well, mine’s just locked up now. You’ll have to use the door in the future.”

He smiles at her. “I can do that.” Adrian pulls her close again and he lightly kisses her lips. “Hello.”

Alicia leans against him. “Hello.”

“I want to show you something.”

“Is it another poster of Krum?” She grins and Adrian rolls his eyes at her.

“Lockhart, actually.” He grabs her hand and pulls her along. They walk out onto the balcony through the sliding doors in the sitting room. “With just a snitch covering his-“

“Urgh don’t finish that sentence, Pucey.” Alicia laughs. “I’m sure it’d be more of a quaffle though. A snitch is a little mean.”

Adrian shrugs. “If you say so.” 

He leads her to the far end of the balcony and up a winding staircase. Alicia looks over her shoulder, she can see the lights of the city and the expanse of Hyde Park behind her. 

“This is beautiful.” They’ve ended up on the roof terrace. Alicia looks back at Adrian. There’s a blanket on the floor behind him. She can make out the glimmer of several warming charms. “Are those hobnobs?”

He grins. “Do you know how difficult they are to find? It took Bimbly forever.”

Alicia laughs. “You can get them at every corner shop.” She snorts. “Purebloods.”

“Whatever, Spinnet. Let’s sit.” 

The blanket is really comfortable and Alicia suspects that there are several cushioning charms underneath it. Apart from the biscuits Adrian’s set up a pot of tea and two cups (including saucers) as well as milk and sugar. Well, Adrian’s probably arranged for his house elf to set it all up. There are no lights but the glimmer of the city and the full moon. 

“Very romantic.” She says and turns to face Adrian. He looks very pleased with himself. 

“Do you like it?” He asks and casts another warming charm.

“I do.” She kicks off her shoes and lets herself fall back onto the blanket. “Nobody’s ever done anything like that for me.”

“No dates under the moonlight?” He settles down next to her, his hand finding Alicia’s.

Alicia snorts. “No dates at all.” 

“You’ve never been on a date?” 

“No.” Alicia isn’t sure whether she should be embarrassed about that. 

“Mhm. Not surprised really.”

“Excuse me?” 

Adrian turns to face her. There’s a grin on his face. “Well, it’d have been very difficult for anyone to ask you out at back at school.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You were always surrounded by your Quidditch team. Not much of a chance to get you by yourself.” He faces the night sky again. “I imagine.”

Alicia studies his profile. “Did you think about asking me out at Hogwarts, Adrian Pucey?”

His mouth quirks. “Me?”

“Yes, you. Can’t see anyone else called Adrian Pucey on this roof.” 

“Would you have said yes?”

Alicia doesn’t think she would have. “Maybe.”

He laughs. “Don’t lie, Spinnet. You’re too loyal for that. I was the enemy after all. Still am, I suppose.” He says the last bit very quietly.

“You haven’t answered my question. Did you want to ask me out?” Alicia decides to ignore the enemy part. It’d only ruin their night.

Adrian faces her again. “I did. But I never would have. I didn’t think you were aware that I existed off the Quidditch pitch.”

Alicia blushes a little at the memory of her drunkenly telling him just how much she’d noticed him during school. “I was aware.”

“I know that now.” He pulls her closer and leans in for a deep kiss. He tastes faintly of chocolate and Alicia suspects he’s already eaten some hobnobs earlier. “But you liked somebody else.”

Alicia really doesn’t want to talk about Charlie Weasley now but she probably owes him at least some sort of a reply. “I used to yeah.”

“Up until quite recently.”

“I…” She buries her head into his jumper so she doesn’t have to look at him when she says the next bit. “I thought I liked somebody until up to quite recently. Turns out that it was just a school girl crush. Recently I’ve had somebody else to compare that crush to and, well, it really was just a crush and nothing more.”

“And that somebody else? You like them? It’s not just a crush?” 

Alicia looks up at Adrian. He looks almost nervous and Alicia isn’t sure why he would be. She obviously likes him or she wouldn’t have slept with him. “I do like them.” Adrian smiles. “I do like you.” He leans down and places a kiss on her forehead. 

“I like you too.” He says and then his hand is under her jumper. He kisses her hungrily and brushes his fingers over her nipples. Alicia moans against his lips. Adrian pulls her jumper over her head and then gently climbs on top of her, using his elbows to prop himself up as to not squash her. He grins down at her. “Do I need to cast a Muffliato or…?”

Alicia snorts. “You are so full of yourself, Pucey.” 

Afterwards Alicia’s glad that he did cast one. He’s pulled out another blanket from the pocket of his trousers and placed it over them once he’d unshrunk it. Alicia lets herself be kept warm by his embrace and the last of the warming charms. 

“I want to stay here forever.” She says and only blushes a little at how stupid she sounds.

Adrian kisses the top of her head. “I’m sure that can be arranged.” 

“We could go somewhere else.” Alicia suddenly feels a little somber. “Somewhere where there isn’t a war going on.”

“I don’t know whether I can arrange that.” 

“I spoke to somebody about getting you out.” Alicia doesn’t say who, that’s a secret she mustn’t share.

Adrian recoils. “What? Why?”

“I thought that they might be able to help you. I didn’t say your name. Kept it very hypothetical.” 

“What did they say?”

Alicia worries her lip. She doesn’t answer for a while and the pause is an answer in itself. “It’d be difficult.” She says eventually.

“It’d be impossible.”

“You don't have the mark.” She sits up, not caring that the blanket is falling down and uncovering her chest. 

“I don’t have it yet.” Adrian pulls her back down into his arms. “I reckon I will get it by the end of the month. I’ve heard…That’s what I’ve heard.”

“Then we’ll have to act quickly. There are safe houses. I know Moody’s started setting them up. You could go into hiding.” She knows she’s talking way too fast now. “Or you could go abroad. We have support in other countries. You could go to Romania. Or France. Somebody could get you out. Dumbledore could get your whole family out.”

“Alicia, please don’t tell me…” He sighs heavily. “I can’t leave. It’s not just about my family. There’s Marcus and Miles to think about. I won’t leave them behind. Not if they might end up like Cassius. And I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to die, Adrian.” She says against his chest. 

“I won’t. I don’t want you to die either.” He cups one side of her face with his hand so she’s forced to look up at him. “And you won’t. I’ll make sure you won’t.”


	8. Chapter 8

It’s Valentine’s Day and Alicia is holding a wizard down while Maggie slices his chest open with a precise Diffindo. Both their robes are soaked in blood. 

“Fuck.” Maggie sends another patronus to St Mungo’s. “I don’t dare Stupefy him.”

Alicia struggles to keep his arms away from the open wound in his chest. There are vines growing out from inbetween his ribcage and Maggie sets to cut them away while she’s trying to find exactly where the curse has hit him. Alicia watches with horror in her eyes. This is one of the worst curse wounds she’s ever seen. Both her and Maggie had been in the reception at St Mungo’s after returning from their break when an auror had apparated in. He wordlessly grabbed and side-alonged them to an empty parking lot. Well, almost empty apart from two more aurors on the ground just ahead of them. Neither are moving. Not that her or Maggie would have time to check, this is much more urgent. The auror who’d apparated them in is already gone again, presumably back to the Ministry. 

“Okay, Alicia, listen to me. You need to pull his hands up above his head so you can sit on them. I then need you to hold open his pectoral muscles so I can get into his chest properly.” Maggie waits for Alicia to manoeuvre the auror’s hands. “Good. Now grab him just there.” She puts Alicia’s hands in place and Alicia ignores that she’s got her hands on an open wound. She can faintly feel the auror’s heart beating. “That’s it, well done. Pull it apart now.” Alicia does and the vines start moving up her hands instead of attacking Maggie. Maggie can stop trying to cut them away. Now they’re preoccupied with growing up Alicia’s arms she can focus on finding their root. 

“Shit.” Maggie casts another blood quenching spell over the wizard’s open ribcage. Alicia leans over a little. The vines are entwined over his lungs, clutching down on them and constricting his access to air. Alicia doesn’t know how the auror is still alive. 

“There’s some pain potion in my robe pocket.” Alicia says.

Maggie gives her a look. “It’d be a waste.” She moves her wand and Alicia’s eyes follow its tip. The root of the vines is just below his heart. 

“Fuck.” Alicia mumbles. “What now?”

“Stupefy and back to St Mungo’s.” 

Alicia lets go off the auror’s pectoral muscles. Her hands are dripping blood. She watches Maggie stupefy the wizard. Then Maggie cuts the vines off Alicia’s arms. They both flinch when there’s a sharp crack behind them.

“Merlin.” Kingsley Shacklebolt looks down at the auror. “Chambers, side-along him back. I need Spinnet to check the other two.”

Maggie nods and disapparates with what to Alicia already looks like a corpse. 

“Apologies for auror Fielding. He’s fresh out of training and was too panicked to follow protocol. He shouldn’t have just side-alonged you and Healer Chambers out of St Mungo’s.”

Alicia follows Shacklebolt over to the two aurors on the ground. She performs a diagnostic charm over their bodies but, as expected, she can only pronounce them dead. 

“What happened?” She goes through the pockets of her robes. There’s some left over portkey ribbons somewhere in them. 

Shacklebolt sighs. “Dolohov.”

Alicia freezes. Antonin Dolohov is one of the worst Death Eaters out there. Cruel, merciless and, unfortunately for the Order, extremely capable. “He took out three aurors?”

“Yes. And auror Fielding is lucky to be alive.” Shacklebolt watches as she wraps the ribbons over one of the auror’s wrists and the second one over the other auror’s ankle. 

“How do you know it was Dolohov?”

“He wasn’t wearing a mask and auror Fielding recognised him. But that vine curse is one of his favourite to use. It’s almost like his signature. Auror Burton is the fifth auror to die that way.”

Alicia blanches at the certainty with which Shacklebolt has already pronounced his colleague dead. “Fifth?”

“Fifth this year alone, yes.”

Alicia lightly taps the two ribbons to activate the portkeys. They step back from the bodies. “There’s something you need from me, isn’t there?” The portkeys go off and the two aurors are taken back to St Mungo’s. Alicia hopes the ribbons weren’t set for the reception.

“There is indeed. I have spoken to Chief Healer Stratford.” Shacklebolt watches Alicia scourgify her robes. “We need you on stand by. Moody and I have been setting up a number of safe houses around Britain over the past two weeks. We want you and Lupin establish first aid stations in each one of them.”

“I’m not a trained healer yet. Wouldn’t somebody else be more suited?”

“You are the only healer we have in the Order. Molly Weasley is pretty adept at healing spells but she does not want to travel too far from the Burrow. Remus is our second best but he’s not really got the theoretical knowledge nor does he know how to deal with curse wounds. You’ve been working on the Curses ward since September which makes you our expert. And you know what is needed for the first aid stations.”

Alicia swallows. If she’s the best they got… “So you want me to quit my training?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes. You will still learn but I’m afraid it’ll be from books while you set up the first aid stations.” Shacklebolt crosses his arms. “I will have various members of the Order drop in to teach you. Remus for flesh wounds, Molly for bruising and broken bones. Hestia Jones is a dab hand at mind healing spells. We need you to cover quite a bit of ground very quickly. I know Maggie Chambers is the best at treating curse wounds so I’m confident you can deal with those pretty well already. And Remus has told me about you treating that dark matter spell on Lee Jordan. That was some excellent thinking on your part.” 

“And a lot of luck.”

He smiles. “Yes. But you have all the makings of a great healer. We need that. At the moment we can still go to St Mungo’s for treatment but who knows what it’ll be like in a month or two. Especially for those of us who are muggleborn.”

Alicia can’t help but think of her mum. She needs to visit her soon and set up more protective wards. And finally tell her about the war. “Alright. When will I start?”

“Next week. Remus will send you an owl.” 

“Okay.” Alicia looks down at her robes. They aren’t bloody anymore but she still feels sticky from all the blood. “I better get back.”

Shacklebolt nods. “You better.” He looks over the empty parking lot again. “And happy Valentine’s, Miss Spinnet.”

~||~

It’s not a happy Valentine for Alicia. When she gets home there’s an owl waiting for her outside her living room window. She reads Adrian’s message and tries not to be upset that he’s had to cancel their date for tonight. It’s clear to her that it’s Death Eater related. But maybe it’s best if they don’t see each other today. Alicia is still shaken by the attack on the aurors this afternoon and it might cause an argument between them. Still, she doesn’t want to spend the evening alone either so she sends her patronus to Angelina.

When Alicia returns to her block of flats from the shops, Angelina and Oliver are already waiting outside for her. 

“Singles night!” Angelina takes one of the shopping bags out of her arms. 

Oliver rolls his eyes. “The twins and Lee are on their way. They’ve been out on Order business all day.”

“Everything okay?” Alicia asks as she unlocks the door. 

“Yeah. I’ll tell you upstairs.” 

Oliver takes her other bag of shopping and they walk up the two flights of stairs to her flat. Adrian’s owl is waiting outside her living room window again. Alicia swears softly. Maybe it’ll take off if she just ignores it.

Angelina and Oliver put her shopping down and they start putting things away. It’s mainly booze and chocolate. Alicia takes some glasses out of her cupboard. “So what did they get up to?”

Oliver unscrews the bottle of Pinot Grigio Alicia bought. “Moody send them to France with a portkey. Some of our supporters there have been attacked last night and he wanted them to find out whether it was Death Eaters or just sympathisers. He couldn’t spare anyone more senior.” Oliver shrugs. “George said he speaks French.”

Alicia groans. “It’s the Mexican telenovela all over again.” Angelina and Oliver stare at her confused. “Nevermind. George definitely does not speak French. He’s got the compulsive tick of pretending he can speak all sorts of languages.”

Angelina snorts. “Moody will have his head.”

“There’s always translation charms.” Oliver throws in.

“Do you really think any of them know those?” Alicia lines the glasses up so Oliver can pour the wine. 

“The next meeting will be fun.” Angelina helps herself to one of the glasses. “Alicia, are you aware that there’s a huge owl outside your window?”

Alicia swears quietly. “Might just be the paper.” She gestures towards the phone. “Hey, can you ring Mario and order some pizzas?” Hopefully Angelina and Oliver will be distracted by the phone so Alicia can get Adrian’s message and then quickly make it disappear.

“What shall I get?” Angelina, who Alicia taught how to use a phone a couple of years back, looks over Oliver’s shoulder at the pizza menu in his hands.

“Just a couple of different ones?” Alicia opens her living room window and the eagle owl climbs into the room. Luckily Archibald is hiding somewhere in her bedroom. He and Adrian’s owl do not get on at all. The owl is holding a large scroll. Alicia gently removes it from its talons. “Thank you, Archimedes.” Archimedes hoots quietly and takes off again.

“Hello Mario, it’s Angelina. Alicia’s friend?” Angelina laughs softly. She’s got a bit of a crush on the Italian chef.

“What is it, Alicia?” Oliver’s snuck up behind her. 

Alicia hides the scroll behind her back. “Just junk mail.”

“Eagle owls don’t deliver junk mail.” He reaches behind her and takes the scroll out of her hands.

“Hey!” Alicia jumps up but can’t reach where Oliver is holding it above his head. 

“I’ll only give it back if you open it in front of us.” Oliver lowers it a little but doesn’t hand it over until Alicia nods.

She gets ready to burn it as soon as she’s got her hands on it but then the doorbell rings.

“That’ll be the others.” Oliver walks over to the intercom to let them in, his hand still tightly holding on to the scroll. He buzzes them in just as Angelina hangs up the phone.

“He’ll be about half an hour.” She gestures at the scroll in Oliver’s hand. “Did you get that from the owl?”

“I did. And he won’t give it back.” Alicia makes a move to steal it from Oliver but he just holds it out of reach again.

“Uh what’s that?” Fred says as he walks in and takes the scroll out of Oliver’s hand. 

“It’s a letter. For me.” Alicia crosses her arms. Fred’s even taller than Oliver, there’s no way she can reach it. 

“Who from?” Lee asks and he accepts a glass of wine from Angelina. 

“Someone who owns a huge eagle owl.” Angelina hands a glass of wine to George. 

“It’s probably just junk mail.” Alicia really wants the scroll. 

“From an eagle owl? Unlikely.” George walks past her and plonks himself down on the sofa. “Hey, did you know that French people really don’t like it when you pretend you can speak their language?”

“Whatever, George. I want to know what’s in the scroll.” Oliver sits down beside him. “Open it, Fred.” 

Alicia looks at the twin pleadingly. “Let me look at it first?”

“There’s no secrets between teammates.” Fred starts unrolling it.

“We’ve not been teammates for years. You could have said friends, you know. Especially since I’ve never been part of the team.” Lee rolls his eyes at Fred’s back. 

“Honorary teammate.” Fred’s halfway unrolled the scroll when it jumps out of his hands and floats in the air, doubling in size as it’s unfolding itself fully.

For a moment nobody says anything. Then Angelina and Lee burst out laughing.

“Alicia.” Fred says quietly.

“Yes?” 

“Why have you been sent a poster of Lockhart in the buff?”

“He is holding a quaffle in front of his…bits.” Alicia says without mirth. 

“You were right. It’s worthy of a quaffle. Sorry I can’t be with you tonight. I’ll make it up to you. Love, A.” Fred reads the small writing in the left corner of the poster out loud. 

“I have so many questions.” Angelina walks up to the poster to have a closer look. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“What about the most pressing one.” George calls from the sofa. “How were you right about the size of Lockhart’s di-“ 

“Don’t you dare say it.” Oliver puts his hand over George’s mouth. “The visual is bad enough. Can someone roll it back up, please?”

Alicia snatches the poster out of the air and rolls it up. She is going to kill Adrian. 

“Alicia.”

“Yes, Fred.”

“Who is A?”

The doorbell rings. 

“That’ll be Mario. He’s always faster than he says over the phone. I’ll get them.” Alicia blurts out as she’s already halfway out of the door, the poster tightly clutched against her chest. 

When she returns to the flat holding four pizza boxes, all the spots on her sofa are taken so after placing the pizzas on the coffee table she sits down on the floor next to Fred. Everyone helps themselves to a slice and Alicia hopes they won’t interrogate her further. The poster is already shrunk and stuffed down the pocket of her jeans.

“So who’s sorry they can’t be with you tonight?” George asks between two bites of pepperoni pizza.

“I don’t know. It probably wasn’t for me.” Alicia keeps her eyes on her slice of Veggie Supreme pizza.

“It definitely was.” Angelina stubs Alicia’s knee with her foot. “So we are your contingency plan now that your Valentine’s date has fallen through?”

“I’m so hurt.” Fred theatrically swoons. 

“How is A going to make it up to you?” Lee frowns and nibbles on his slice. “Actually, scrap that. I don’t want to know.”

“Who do we know whose first name starts with A?” Oliver pensively scratches his chin. “Angelina?”

“Wasn’t me.” Angelina shakes her head. “Also, I’m here. Idiot.”

“Isn’t there an Anthony something or other in Ron’s year?” George looks at Fred. “Silverfeather?”

“Goldstein.” Fred mumbles his mouth full of pizza. 

“It’s definitely not a sixteen year old boy.” Lee looks at Alicia. “Please tell me it’s not.”

“Of course not.” Alicia rolls her eyes at George. “Can we talk about something else now? How was France?”

Everyone ignores her.

“Merlin, is it Filch?” George says and then bursts out laughing.

“Oh, yeah. Argus Filch!” Fred snorts. 

“You are gross.” Alicia flicks a mushroom at George. 

“Guys.” Oliver says and his tone is so serious that everyone falls silent at once. “Albus Dumbledore.” He bursts out laughing.

This time even Alicia can’t help but join in. She hopes they’ll just continue their guessing game with unlikely candidates and then everyone can move on from it.

“Oh, I know who it is.” Angelina says between fits of giggles. “Moody. Alastor Moody.”

“Sure. I’ve always been partial to a wooden leg.” Alicia grins at her friend. 

There’s some more ridiculous suggestions and then Lee guessing a player from the Falmouth Falcons sets off a debate about the new roaster of the team and soon ‘A’ is forgotten. Once they’ve finished their pizzas Alicia vanishes the boxes and starts assembling dessert bowls in the kitchen.

“You alright?” Angelina asks her and helps fill a bowl with skittles. 

Alicia nods. “Yeah.” She gets some more wine out of the fridge. 

“Will you tell me who it is?” Angelina opens a pack of biscuits and places them on a small plate. 

“It’s only recent.” Alicia refills their glasses. “I want to wait a little longer.” Or forever, Alicia thinks.

“Fair enough.” Angelina looks at her with her head cocked to the side. “You seem different.” Her eyes light up. “Merlin. You’ve had sex.” 

“Shhh!” Alicia looks over at the sofa but the boys are still engrossed in their conversation about Quidditch. “Yeah.”

“And it’s only recent? Alicia, you little minx!” She puts her wine glass down and embraces Alicia. “How was it? You don’t have to tell me who it is, don’t worry.”

Alicia smiles. “Well the first time was a bit uncomfortable but every other time was great.” She blushes a little.

“Every other time? How much sex have you been having?” She laughs. “I’m getting jealous.”

Alicia shrugs. “Just a few times.” 

“You lucky sod.” Angelina picks up her glass again. “Well, I’m happy for you. After the thing with Charlie I thought…Anyway. I’m happy that you’ve found someone.”

Alicia wants to answer but then Bill’s Irish setter patronus shoots into the room. “Ron’s been poisoned. He’s okay now, mum and dad are at Hogwarts.”

The twins are on their feet immediately. 

“Jesus…” Alicia walks up to them. 

“We better go to the cottage. See if Bill knows more.” Fred says, his voice sounding understandably worried. 

Lee decides to leave with the twins. Alicia and Angelina join Oliver on the sofa, the mood dampened now. 

“Why would anyone poison Ron?” Oliver puts down an old issue of Quidditch Today he’d been flicking through.

“It was obviously aimed at Harry.” Angelina pulls her legs up. “Although poisoning doesn’t really seem like something Death Eaters would do.”

Alicia has a thousand thoughts running through her head. Has Adrian’s absence something to do with Ron getting poisoned? Did he poison Ron? Is he being arrested right now?

“Alicia?”

“Sorry, what?”

“I asked whether you want us to stay tonight?” Angelina frowns at her. “Lee is probably going to stay with the twins so if you don’t mind, I’d like to stay. Oliver?”

“I can stay too. If you want me to.”

Alicia nods. “That’d be good actually.” 

“Perfect. Right, let’s watch some trashy muggle television.” Angelina grabs the remote.

Alicia tries to focus on Coronation Street but her thoughts keep returning to Adrian. She’s half-tempted to send him a patronus message but they’re hardly conspicuous. 

Oliver, noticing her absent-mindedness, pulls her into a half hug. “Ron will be okay, Al. Don’t worry.” She lets him kiss the top of her head and tries not to feel ashamed that she hadn’t been thinking about her best friends’ brother at all.

~||~

Alicia spends the two weeks after Valentine’s day setting up safe houses and worrying about Adrian. She’s handed in her resignation to Chief Healer Stratford and follows Remus Lupin around Britain. The first safe house they visit is just outside Whitby in North Yorkshire. It’s a freezing cold and rainy day and they spend hours setting up alerting wards in the neighbourhood. Alicia gets drenched but the realisation of having lost the job she loves on top of worrying about Adrian hits her hard that day and she’s glad for the rain. Lupin never realises that she’s crying all the way through their casting. 

Shacklebolt and Moody have made all the safe houses unplottable but it is still up to Lupin and Alicia to cast protective spells and anti-apparition wards over the houses themselves. The wand work is intricate and it’s not until the fourth house down in Brighton that Alicia has fully gotten the hang of warding. Setting up first aid stations is a far simpler task and Alicia does that while Lupin goes out to buy canned goods and basic toiletries. They are at the sixth house near the port in Dover when a silver mist appears in front of Alicia. The patronus strains to form for a few short moments but then disappears. Still, Alicia thinks she heard the faint echo of Adrian’s voice. 

“Who was that from?” Lupin fills the cupboard above the sink with cans of tomato soup. 

Alicia shrugs. “I don’t know.” She doesn’t know what to say. Every member of the Order who’d want to contact Alicia is able to cast a fully corporal patronus. Alicia hopes Lupin won’t question her too much about it.

“It might have been a practise one. I’ll send a message to Moody. He’s gone over to France for the week.” He shuts the cupboard.

“Because of the attack on the night before Valentine’s?” 

Lupin nods. “There’ve been some follow up attacks and he’s helping the French with getting their defences in order. Maybe he’s also showing them how to use patronuses for communication. We’re close enough to Calais for a patronus to show up that’s meant to reach the nearest member of the Order here in Britain.”

“Yeah, that might’ve been it then.” Alicia unshrinks some dreamless sleep and blood replenishing potions from her satchel. She places them next to the draught of living dead and a small vial with essence of Dittany. The box of potions goes in the bathroom cabinet. 

“All done?” Lupin asks when Alicia gets back from the bathroom. 

“Almost. I need to check the phone line.” It had been Hestia Jones’ idea to make sure that all the safe houses would have an alternative means of communication apart from patronuses that the members of the Order would be able to rely on. It’s difficult to cast a patronus if you’re injured. Alicia blocks out the thought that Adrian could be too hurt to send her a fully corporal patronus. She wishes she’d asked him whether he can cast one in the first place. Alicia picks up the phone and dials the number of the Burrow. Mr Weasley had been delighted to have Alicia help set up a phone in the garden shed which was the only place not too drenched in magic for a phone to work. They had to confound the engineer from BT but now the Burrow has a working phone. It rings for quite a while before someone picks up.

“Hello?”

Alicia freezes. “Hello, Charlie. It’s Alicia.” She’s not spoken to him since that awkward morning on New Year’s Day. As far as she knows he’s been in Romania. Obviously he’s returned. 

“Oh. Hello.” Alicia can hear him clearing his throat. “Dad’s gone to the shops with mum so they put me on phone duty. They said that Remus might call.”

“Right. Professor Lupin is just doing the last check up on the safe house. So it’s me calling. Obviously.” Alicia wants to knock her head against the wall. “You’re back.” 

Charlie laughs softly. “Yes. I’m back.”

“Right. Because you are on the phone. Obviously you’re back.” She should just finish the conversation and hang up. This is embarrassing. “Right. Well. The phone seems to be working fine. Obviously. Because we are talking. Over the phone.” She can basically hear Charlie grinning. “I’m going to hang up now. This was just to make sure it’s working. The phone. That the phone is working. Right. Bye, Charlie.” Alicia hangs up and groans. 

“Ouch.” Lupin says. Alicia turns away from the phone. Lupin grimaces at her. “That was painful to listen to.”

Alicia can feel the heat rush to her cheeks. “Charlie’s back.”

Lupin tilts his head and smiles. “I gathered that. Dora told me about you and him.” 

“It’s erm it’s not really anything. We tried but it didn’t work out because…well, it didn’t work. I’ve not spoken to him since New Year’s so it was a bit…Well you’ve heard it.” Alicia cringes. She can’t believe she’s talking about this with her former professor. 

“Right. Not to worry, Alicia.” He holds out the portkey to the next safe house, a can opener, and Alicia grabs on to it. When they’ve finished setting up the house she lets Lupin make the call to check the phone line.

~||~

It’s a week into March when Alicia’s phone rings her out of bed. She’s on the list for who to call if you’re stuck in a safe house and can’t cast a patronus. Alicia grabs her wand in case she’s got to pass on a message via patronus and hurries into the kitchen. 

“Hello?” For a moment all Alicia can hear is heavy breathing. Then a very quiet voice saying her name over and over again. “Adrian? Is that you?”

“Spinnet? It’s Miles. Miles Bletchley.” 

“What is going on? Is Adrian alright?” 

There’s some shouting and then silence. Alicia feels like her heart is going to burst through her ribcage. 

“I don’t think she can hear me, Marcus. How are you getting on with that patronus of yours?” 

“Miles, I can hear you!” Alicia almost shouts down the phone. “Hello?” Some rustling and then silence again.

“Hello? It’s Marcus. Flint.” 

“What is going on, Flint?” She’s clutching on to her wand so tightly her knuckles are white. “Talk to me.”

“Spinnet, we need your help. We are in one of those red boxes.” 

Alicia frowns. Red boxes? “Where?”

“The telly phone box.”

“You’re in a phone booth… Where? Is Adrian okay?”

“Yes, that. Well, it’s only me inside at the moment. It’s quite small and we’re-“

“Flint, shut up and tell me that Adrian is okay.”

“Oh, yeah. He’s okay. Mostly. Just passed out.”

Alicia wants to strangle Flint through the phone. “Where exactly are you?” 

“Hyde Park Corner.” 

“I’m coming. Don’t move.”

Alicia hangs up. There’s no time to change so she just grabs a big coat and then runs out of the door. As soo as she’s out of the block of flats she disapparates. 

~||~

It’s three am so nobody sees Alicia appear at the entrance to the Hyde Park Corner underground station. Alicia sees the red phone booth straight away. Marcus Flint is leaning against it, his arms crossed in front of him. He’s got two black eyes.

“Where is he?” Alicia shouts as she’s running towards the former Quidditch captain. 

Flint points towards some park benches on the other side of the road. Alicia crosses the road, Flint right behind her.

“What happened?” Adrian’s lying on the park bench, his head resting on Bletchley’s lap. He’s deadly pale but Alicia can’t make out any visible injuries.

“We’re not sure. We were relieved of our portkey back to London somewhere in Brittany and took it in turns to side-along back. He did the last few jumps so maybe it’s just exhaustion? We arrived about half an hour ago and he just passed out.” Bletchley’s voice is a little shaky and there’s some bruising on his face. He’s also holding his side with one hand. 

Alicia kneels down next to Adrian and runs a diagnostic charm over him. “I assume you weren’t on holiday in France so you can’t take him to St Mungo’s?”

“Can you tell what’s wrong with him?” Flint asks from behind her, ignoring her question.

Alicia looks at her charm. “He’s been hit by a stasis spell.” Adrian’s heart rate is worryingly low. “The adrenaline in his body must have helped him with shaking it off at first but the exertion of apparition…”

“A stasis spell? I didn’t think those worked on people.” Bletchley looks down at his friend with worry in his eyes.

Alicia bites her lip. They do work on people. Moody had been teaching them the spell back in the summer. He likes to use them as, unlike a Stupify, it takes more than an Enervate to bring somebody back to consciousness. 

“Can you wake him up?” Flint walks around her and slowly sinks down on the floor next to the bench. There’s a cut along his thigh. 

“I…” Alicia hesitates. There is a counter spell but she doesn’t really want to perform it in front of two Death Eaters. 

Bletchley studies her face. “Cast a Muffliato first then.”

Alicia blushes at how easy she is to read. She casts the privacy spell and mutters the counter spell to the stasis charm whilst running the tip of her wand down Adrian’s face and upper body. She cancels the Muffliato and Adrian wakes with a spluttering cough.   
Relief washes through Alicia.

“Adrian?” She says softly. 

He blinks a few times and then sits up slowly. “Alicia?” He pulls her up towards him and holds her tightly.

“Alright, lovebirds.” Bletchley says after a couple of minutes. “We better move.”

“Are you okay to side-along us to your flat?” Flint asks Adrian.

“Definitely not.” Alicia says at the same as Adrian says “Of course.” They stare at each other.

“You are not strong enough.” 

“My flat is the closest. It’s not even a five minute walk from here.” Adrian is still holding on to her hands. “It’ll be fine.”

Alicia huffs. She makes Adrian let go off her hands and reaches into her pocket. There should be a shrunk down first aid kit somewhere. “Hang on then.” She pulls out the satchel and spells it back to its original size. “Drink this.” She hands Adrian a vial of strengthening solution. 

“Thank you.” He uncorks it and swallows the potion with a grimace. “Ugh.”

“You can’t take us all at the same time.” Alicia gestures towards Bletchley. “Him first. I need to see to Flint’s wound. Apparition with an open thigh wound can lead to bleeding out. I’m surprised he’s still alive.”

Flint pales and lets her tourniquet his thigh whilst Adrian and Bletchley disapparate. She seals up the wound and rubs some essence of Dittany on it. “Drink this.” Alicia hands him a blood replenishing potion. 

Adrian appears again and he takes Flint next. Alicia scourgifies the spot where Flint sat whilst she waits for Adrian to appear again. She’s got another strengthening solution out when he gets back. “Drink this.”

“I already have.”

“Drink.” 

He sighs but does. “They are vile.”

“They’re not meant to taste good.” Alicia lets herself be drawn into an embrace. He kisses her forehead softly before apparating.

Alicia runs a diagnostic spell over Bletchley and then she heals Flint’s black eyes. “You’re good, Flint. Have some food though.” Flint nods and calls for Bimbly. “I can heal your bruises, Bletchley. Take off your shirt.”

Bletchley moves awkwardly and struggles out of his shirt. Alicia starts rubbing some healing lotion on the bruising on his face and then his upper body. There’s a Diffindo cut in his side. It’s shallow and Alicia can close it up without much difficulty.   
Bimbly reappears with a tray piled high with sandwiches and Flint and Bletchley start eating. 

“Thank you, Spinnet.” Bletchley says inbetween bites. Flint just nods. 

Adrian pulls her down onto the sofa beside him. “Thank you.” He nuzzles her neck.

“What happened?” Alicia knows that they won’t be able to tell her much but she reckons she’s owed at least some sort of explanation.

“France happened.” His breath is hot on her neck. “Your friend Moody happened.”

“You didn’t send me a message.” Now that the adrenaline is gone, Alicia has room for anger. “Not one word.”

“I’m sorry. I tried to send a patronus.” 

“I thought you were dead, you arsehole.” Alicia pulls away from him. There are angry tears in her eyes but she doesn’t care. Bletchley and Flint pretend they’re engrossed in eating their food. “I thought the last thing I’d ever hear from you was a message on that fucking poster of Lockhart.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not good enough, Pucey.” She crosses her arms, ignoring the tears on her face. “Not fucking good enough.”

Bletchley makes a show of yawning really loudly. “Wow, I’m tired. Aren’t you, Marcus?” He gets up and pulls his friend away from the sandwiches. “We’ll take the guest rooms. Ta, Adrian.” They make a quick exit.

“I didn’t know we’d be stuck in France for so long. They said it’d be a quick mission, a day or two at the most. But then the Order…I wasn’t able to get any messages out.” Adrian tentatively takes her hands. “I’m really sorry. I’ll work on my patronus.”

“You’ve never managed to cast it?” Adrian shakes his head. “Right. I thought…” She swallows deeply. “I was really worried.” She wipes at her face. “We need to find a way of communicating. I am not going through this again.”

“We do.” He pulls her close. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”

Alicia buries her head into his chest. “Of course I’m going to worry. I care about you, Adrian Pucey.” He kisses the top of her head.

~||~

When Alicia wakes up in Adrian’s bed later that day he’s gone. She forces herself not to panic and gets dressed in her pyjamas again. Alicia makes her way into the sitting room and she can see the three Slytherins having breakfast on the balcony. 

“Morning.” She mumbles and sits down next to Adrian. It’s a little chilly out and Alicia wraps her arms around herself. She should’ve grabbed her coat. 

“Good morning.” Adrian smiles at her and briefly kisses her cheek. “Are you cold?” Alicia nods and he takes off his jumper. Adrian hands it to her and she pulls it over her head. It’s warm and smells of him. 

“Ugh. Well if this isn’t disgustingly sweet.” Bletchley says but there’s a grin on his lips. Flint just glowers. 

“Shut up, Bletchley.” Alicia says and helps herself to a pain au chocolat. It’s flaky and still a little warm and definitely doesn’t taste like the ones she usually gets from Tesco.

“I was wondering how long it’d take for the two of you to start shagging.” Flint looks resigned. 

“Well, I had my money on that night we went to The 801.” Bletchley spreads some jam on his slice of toast. “What did you have, Marcus?”

“New Year’s eve.”

Adrian’s blushing and, despite the topic of conversation, Alicia finds it quite endearing. “Well, you were both wrong. It was-“

“Okay, that’s enough of that.” Alicia cuts in. “I’m more interested in how you knew my phone number. And how to use a phone.”

Bletchley glares at her. “I took Muggle Studies, thank you very much.” 

“My phone number then?” 

“There was this number in the phone box.” Flint refills his cup of tea. “Well, the first one was some muggle sex thing.” He scowls and Alicia snorts. “But there was another one and the muggle woman looked you up in a director.”

“A phone directory.” Alicia corrects automatically.

Flint nods. “Yeah, that. Miles remembered your address and that’s all the muggle woman needed to come up with your number.”

“We took turns trying to send a patronus but it just didn’t work.” Bletchley takes a bite of his toast. “None of us have managed it before but we didn’t know what else to do until Marcus spotted the phone box.”

“Who taught you?” Adrian pulls her chair a little closer so he can rest his hand on her thigh. 

Alicia takes another bite of her pastry before she answers. “Harry.”

The three Slytherins freeze. 

“Harry Potter?” Adrian asks eventually. 

She nods. “That’s the one.”

“When?” Bletchley frowns. “I know he send a stag at us after that one Quidditch game but it’s one thing doing it and another teaching it.”

“He’s actually a really good teacher.” Alicia puts her pastry down and fills her cup with some tea. 

“What’s yours?” Bletchley asks, genuine interest in his voice.

“A swallow.” Adrian answers and Alicia thinks he sounds proud of her. It makes her feel warm. She nods.

“Can you teach us?” For the first time ever Flint looks at her without a scowl on his face.

“I don’t know whether I can. Harry just told us that it doesn’t actually have to be a happy memory like it says in the textbook. It can be just a positive emotion if it’s strong enough. Like hope or your feelings for someone.” Alicia knows she’s blushing and hides her face behind her cup of tea. 

Bletchley regards her for a moment. “So you could think about someone you are in love with?”

Alicia nods. “I think so, yeah.”

Flint snorts. “I’ll think of Bimbly then. I love him for making us an amazing breakfast.”

Bletchley and Adrian laugh. Alicia rolls her eyes. “Try it then.”

“Alright.” Flint puts his tea down and gets up. He holds out his wand and shuts his eyes for a moment. “Expecto Patronum!” He bellows. Nothing happens.

“Worth a try.” Bletchley says between giggles. 

Flint shrugs and sits down again. “What do you think about then, Spinnet?”

“My mum, usually. My friends. There’s plenty of people I love.” Alicia ignores Adrian’s gaze on her. Lately he’s been part of what she thinks about when she casts a patronus.

“Can you show us?” Adrian asks quietly. 

“Alright.” Alicia sets down her cup and grabs her wand. She can do it sitting down but doesn’t want to come across a show off so she gets up. “Expecto Patronum!” A silvery swallow bursts forth of her wand. It circles around the breakfast table before hovering in front of Alicia waiting for a command as there aren’t any dementors to protect her from. 

“That’s pretty cool.” Bletchley says, his eyes trained on Alicia’s swallow. 

Alicia waves her wand and the patronus disappears again. “It’s useful. Especially if you need to send a message to someone.” She purses her lips at Adrian who looks sheepish. 

“Let’s practise then.” Adrian says and calls for Bimbly to clear the breakfast table. “We can go up to the roof terrace.” He leads the way.

Alicia blushes a little when they get to the top and when she looks at Adrian he gives her a broad smile. Obviously he’s also thinking about what they did the last time they were up there. 

“Looks like Adrian already has a happy memory.” Bletchley says and laughs. 

“Shut up, Miles.” Adrian is laughing as well now though. 

Alicia clears her throat. “Right. Wand out.”

“Is that what she told you to do last night too?” Bletchley stage-whispers to Adrian and Alicia can feel herself blush even more. 

Adrian shoves his friend. “If you don’t shut up I am going to tell everyone about Bilbao.”

Bletchley flinches. “Forget I ever said anything.”

Alicia raises an eyebrow. “Bilbao?” Adrian grins at her and mouths ‘later’.

Flint points his wand out in front of him. “Can we start now?”

“Of course. So, focus on a happy memory or emotion. Try a combination of memories if you think a single one might not be strong enough.” Alicia corrects wand stances and then backs away. “Don’t get frustrated if nothing happens at first. The more frustrated you are, the less likely your chances of casting a patronus. Try to remain positive.”

Flint and Bletchley close their eyes and focus for a while before trying to cast. Adrian looks at her and Alicia gives him an encouraging smile. He returns her smile and starts casting.


	9. Chapter 9

Alicia leaves before lunch and leaves the Slytherins to practising their patronuses. Adrian gives her a deep kiss after apparating her to an alley near her flat. She promises him to send a patronus later so he can pick her up for dinner at his apartment. 

The Burrow is quiet and Alicia quickly walks up to Ginny’s room. She drops off all of the clothes she’s stolen out of the younger witch’s wardrobe and then goes back downstairs to the kitchen. Mrs Weasley is stirring a pot on the stove, her back to Alicia.

“Hello, Mrs Weasley.” She says quietly as to not spook her. 

“Oh, hello my dear.” Mrs Weasley puts the wooden spoon down and turns to face her. “You look well.” 

Alicia shrugs. “I’ve got more time to sleep now that I’m no longer at St Mungo’s.”

Mrs Weasley tuts. “I’m not sure I agree with Kingsley and Moody on this one.”

“It’s okay. Healer Stratford said that I could continue after the…” Alicia doesn’t really know how to finish her sentence. Or whether she should. Making plans for the time after the war almost seems like she’s going to jinx it. “I should be able to continue.”

“I’m sure you will.” Mrs Weasley draws her wand from the pocket on her apron. “I’m not really sure whether I can show you anything you don’t already know.”

“Shacklebolt said that you know some quick fixes on broken bones?”

“Oh, yes. Well, it’s a variation on Episkey. It can be cast without an x-ray charm as it’s not very intrusive but it also doesn’t mend the bone completely. It’s just an intermittent solution.” Mrs Weasley smiles. “A healer at St Mungo’s taught it to me when I showed up after another one of my sons falling off their broom in the same week. It was the summer before the twins left for Hogwarts and everyone was just too giddy.”

“That sounds really useful.” Alicia thinks that she could have done with that spell on Halloween. “Does it work on cracked ribs?”

“I don’t think so because the bone isn’t actually broken then. But there’s a stasis charm you can use to protect the ribs until you can get a healing potion into them.” 

Mrs Weasley shows her both the variation on Episkey and the stasis charm. Alicia thinks she has the wand movements down pretty quickly but won’t know whether it works until she can actually use them in the field. 

“They should teach these spells in first response.” Alicia gratefully accepts the cup of tea Mrs Weasley prepares for her after.

“Well, the first response training at St Mungo’s assumes that you are at the hospital already so there’s no need for stasis spells or any inbetween solutions.” Mrs Weasley returns to stirring the pot of soup. “Do you want to talk about Charlie, Alicia?”

Alicia splashes some of the hot tea over her fingers. She sets the cup down on the table. “No, thank you.” She says quietly.

“Alright.” Mrs Weasley turns back towards her, a sympathetic expression on her face. “He told me the other day that you tried to make things work before Christmas but it didn’t quite work out. I was a little surprised to be honest with you. You really seemed to like him.” 

“I thought I did.” Alicia mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, petal, don’t be sorry!” Mrs Weasley walks up to her and embraces her tightly. “It’s the prerogative of youth to change your mind. I said it before and I’ll say it again. You will always be like a daughter to me. You’re part of this family.”

“I am sorry though. You said that he struggles with letting others in and then I…Well, he let me in and I hurt him.” Alicia says against Mrs Weasley’s shoulder. 

“It’s fine, Alicia. He was a little sad but he’s fine now.” 

Alicia feels rubbish that she’s made Charlie sad. “I’m not a very good person.”

“Don’t be silly. You are.” Mrs Weasley squeezes her tightly once more before letting go of her. “You are a good person.”

Alicia nods and wipes at her face. When did she start crying so easily? “Thank you, Mrs Weasley.”

“Of course, my dear.” She looks over Alicia’s shoulder. “Just give us a moment, will you Charlie?”

“Sure.” 

Alicia can hear Charlie’s steps retreating. She hopes he didn’t hear too much of their conversation. “I didn’t quite get it at first. The thing about letting people in. It’s scary how much you can worry about somebody.”

Mrs Weasley studies her for a moment. “It is. But isn’t that what we are fighting for? To protect the ones we love? For a time where we do not have to worry about them constantly?”

Alicia can’t meet Mrs Weasley’s eyes. She’s putting the people she loves at risk by keeping quiet about Adrian. By protecting him she is hurting others. Alicia is being selfish. Mrs Weasley is wrong. She isn’t a good person at all.

~||~

Lunch is a quiet affair and Alicia retreats to the garden after. Although it’s still quite chilly there are already a variety of plants sprouting. She sits down on the bench at the far end of the garden and turns her face towards the sun. Alicia’s almost dozed off when she hears steps coming towards her. She knows who’ll be without even opening her eyes.

“Alright, Spinnet?” Charlie asks softly and sits down beside her. 

Alicia nods. “Are you?”

“Yeah, good. I hear we’re both unemployed now?”

She opens her eyes and turns to face him. “You quit your job?”

“Mhm. I don’t want to be in Romania in case something…” Charlie shrugs. “It was the thing with Ron that made me do it. Bill send me an owl but obviously by the time I got it, Ron was already on his feet again. It’s just no good being so far away when there’s so much happening. I don’t care what Dumbledore says, I’m of much better use here than in Romania.”

Alicia understands completely what he means but she’s also sad for him. Charlie loves his work. “Has Moody given you something to do yet?”

“I’m going to hunt dark creatures with Remus and Hestia Jones.” 

“Oh.” Alicia knows that’s dangerous work but Charlie is used to dealing with dragons so the odd hag or vampire won’t be too much of a problem for him. 

“Mum said you’re our healer on call now.” 

Alicia nods. “I’m mainly meant to travel between safe houses to make sure the first aid stations are stocked up. Hopefully there won’t be too much healing.” She knows it’s a stupid thing to hope for. “Shacklebolt wants me to continue learning so he’s given me a lot of books on healing as well as have other members of the Order teach me. Like your mum did today.”

“Ah right.” Charlie stretches out his long legs. “I was wondering what you were doing in our kitchen.”

“Did you…” Alicia pulls her legs up towards her and rests her head on her knees. “I meant what I said to your mum. That I’m sorry about hurting you.”

“I know you are, Alicia. But she’s right. I’m fine.” He stubs his toe against a forgotten planting pot. “I still think you’re brilliant.”

“I think you’re brilliant too.” Alicia turns her face towards him. “Friends?”

He smiles at her. “Friends.”

~||~

Alicia opens the door to three mischievous looking Slytherins. It’s almost April and none of them are wearing heavy winter coats anymore. 

“Happy birthday, Spinnet!” Bletchley says and pushes past her into the flat. 

“Happy Birthday.” Flint mumbles and follows his friend inside. 

Adrian pulls her into an embrace and kisses her deeply. “Happy Birthday, Alicia.” He whispers against her ear. 

“My birthday isn’t until Saturday.” Alicia says and shuts the door behind them. Flint and Bletchley are already sitting on her sofa.

“I know but you’ve probably made plans with your Gryffindor friends.” Adrian grins at her. “So we thought we’d surprise you today instead.”

“We…” Flint grumbles and Bletchley elbows him into his side.

“Don’t be mean to your best friend’s girlfriend.” Bletchley says and Alicia blushes. Is that who she is? Sure, she’s been sleeping with Adrian for over two months now and spends most of her time with him when she’s not doing things for the Order. But they haven’t actually spoken about what they are.

“Exactly. Be nice.” Adrian says and Alicia feels her blush deepen when he doesn’t correct Bletchley. “Right. Grab your coat.”

“Do I need to? None of you are wearing one.” 

Adrian shrugs. “Suppose not. It’ll be warmer there. Maybe just a light jacket then.”

“There? Where are we going?” 

He grins at her. “Surprise.” Adrian watches her get a denim jacket from her wardrobe. 

“Do I need to get dressed up again?” Alicia raises an eyebrow at Bletchley. She’s wearing black jeans and a dark grey The Smiths t-shirt. 

“No, you’re alright.” Bletchley says although Alicia can tell that he wants to say all sorts of things about her outfit. 

“Can you get a message to Moody or someone that you’re out of action today?” Adrian helps her shrug into her jacket. 

“Sure.” Alicia casts her patronus and sends it to Moody with a message that she’s not feeling well and should only be contacted for emergencies. She ignores Flint and Bletchley sharing a meaningful look when her swallow takes off. 

“Perfect. Let’s go.” Adrian pulls out a key ring from his pocket. She can’t quite see it but its shape looks familiar. 

“What’s that?” Alicia frowns at it. 

Flint and Bletchley grab on to the key ring. Alicia copies them. It’s obviously a portkey.

“That, my dear, is the Eiffel tower.” Adrian says and then the magic of the portkey whizzes them away.

~||~

Paris is sunny and warm and beautiful. They have late breakfast at a small Café near the Eiffel tower. They walk along the Seine. They visit the Louvre. They have lunch at a fancy restaurant where the waitress raises her eyebrow at Alicia’s jeans but doesn’t say anything. 

Alicia finds out that Marcus Flint is fluent in French. Adrian and Bletchley speak it but not with the ease Flint does. She finds out that Bletchley is in love with a Parisian Art student called Maurice and he spends a lot of time in the French capital. And she finds out that Adrian wants this with her. He wants to hold her hand in public, wants to refer to her as his girlfriend, wants to kiss her every time he feels like it. And Alicia wants it too. 

“Are you having a good time?” Adrian asks her when they walk down the Avenue des Champs-Élysées towards the Place de la Concorde. 

Alicia watches Flint and Bletchley walking a few steps in front of them. Bletchley is pointing at the expensive Muggle shops to either side of them, trying to convince Flint to invest in some French designer clothes. “I am.” She faces Adrian. “Thank you. This is really…I’ve never been out of the UK before.”

“Well, Paris is a good start then.” He squeezes her hand gently. “Italy next. And we definitely have to go to Bilbao. But maybe without Miles…”

“I hope we can.” Alicia doesn’t want to spoil the day but they can’t keep ignoring everything that is going on around them. “Do you ever think about about what is going to happen to us? After the war?”

She can see his expression falter for just a moment. “I think about you. Sometimes all I can think about is you.” He stops. “My priority is to see you through the war. To make sure you survive.” Alicia frowns. “I don’t know what is going to happen to me, but I will do everything to protect you.”

“What do you mean?” 

“You will not die, Alicia.” He pulls her close. 

“I am not planning on dying. But I don’t want you to risk your own life protecting mine. You need to start thinking about what you can do to keep yourself alive. Leaving the De- leaving. Once this war is over and you are still…one of them, what are you going to do? I don’t want you to go to Azkaban.” Alicia can’t help but look at his left forearm. He’s not marked yet, their prolonged stay in France back in February spared him and now You-Know-Who is too busy being evil so there’s a small window to get Adrian out before he’s marked forever.

“But what if me being one of them is how I can protect you?” 

Alicia suddenly feels sick. “No. That’s not how I want to be protected.” Adrian’s not meeting her eyes. “Is it…Adrian, what are you doing?”

“Come on you two, we’ve got dinner reservations!” Bletchley calls.

Alicia stares at Adrian. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” He grabs her hand and starts walking again. “Nothing.”

~||~

Katie Bell wakes up from her coma at the end of April. Maggie Chambers sends a patronus to Alicia who’s got a sweaty Adrian between her legs when Maggie’s squirrel patronus bursts through the window.

“Are you fucking kidding me.” Adrian groans but Alicia is out of the bed as soon as she hears that her friend is awake.

“I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.” She can’t find her knickers so she just pulls on her jeans. “Where’s my bra?”

Adrian is lying face down on the bed. “Ugh.”

“Adrian.” She crawls onto the bed and places soft kisses on his narrow shoulders. “My bra?”

He reaches up and pulls it out from underneath the pillow. Alicia takes it and puts it on. Her t-shirt is near the bedroom door where Adrian has pretty much ripped it off her as soon as they apparated back from the muggle restaurant they had lunch at.

“I’ll send you a message on the coin when I’m done?” A few days after Paris Alicia had used a protean charm on a couple of two pound coins. Stumbling on the galleon that Hermione had given them for the DA had given her the idea to use it as a means to communicate with Adrian. He still struggles to cast a fully corporal patronus although Alicia thinks she can almost make out its shape now when he’s practising. He said he did manage to produce it once with Bletchley and Flint but it’s too unreliable. So they are sending short messages to each other with the charmed two pound coins.

“You better.” Adrian rolls around and Alicia tries not to be too obvious in her staring at his naked body. “I want to finish this.”

Alicia feels the heat rush into her cheeks. Things were a little awkward after Paris for a couple of days as Adrian flat out refused to talk about the war with her anymore. He wouldn’t answer her questions about what he meant when he said that he’d do anything to protect her and after a while Alicia gave up.

Once they got over their quarrel, Adrian just couldn’t keep his hands off her. They’d be having breakfast when he’d put down his cup of tea and crawl under the table to reappear between her legs, pulling her trousers down, kissing and sucking and nibbling until she’d come at the table. Her protean coin would burn in her pocket when she’d be at the Burrow or at one of the safe houses and as soon as she’d send a message back that she’s free he’d appear outside her door, pulling her clothes off and carrying her off into the bedroom. But it wasn’t always like that. For all the times where he would have her with an urgency and desperation that almost scares her, there were also times where he’d spend hours exploring every inch of her body. She’d wake up with him kissing down her neck, her upper body, her thighs, all the way to her toes. He’d take his time then, pushing into her slowly and indulgently, whispering promises, talking about the places he’d take her, the things they’d do. Alicia would cry then once he’d fallen asleep, knowing that somewhere between drinking cups of tea and walking the streets of Paris she’s fallen in love with him. And it scares her more than anything.

“I won’t be too long.” Alicia waits for Adrian to call Bimbly. Side-alonging with the house elf is strange but ever since they’d found out that wards don’t affect elf magic, they’ve taken advantage of Adrian’s house-elf. “Will you call Bimbly?”

“He’ll come when you ask for him, you know.” Adrian smiles but calls the elf. “I hope she’s alright.”

Bimbly appears and Alicia gently takes the small creature’s hand. She nods. Katie not being alright after being in a coma for so long is very likely but not something she wants to think about yet. The house elf disapparates with her.

~||~

Alicia runs into the twins, Angelina, Oliver and Lee waiting in the corridor outside Katie’s room.

“Have you seen her yet?” Alicia asks, anxiously twirling her wand.

Angelina shakes her head. “Her parents are in there now with a healer and Professor McGonagall.” She pulls Alicia close. “You’ve got a huge hickey on the side of your neck.” She whispers into her ear. 

Alicia blushes. Bloody Adrian. “Erm.” She briefly considers glamouring it but the wand movement would just draw everyone’s attention. 

“They’ve been in there ages.” Fred complains and lets himself slide down onto the floor. 

George studies a poster about the dangers of enchanting every day muggle objects. “We only got here ten minutes ago so how would you know?”

“How did you find out so quickly anyway? Did Maggie send you a patronus too?” Alicia asks and sits down on the floor next to Fred.

“McGonagall sent a patronus to mum. She probably knew we’d want to know straight away.” Fred tilts his head at Alicia. “I assume that’s why it took you so long to get here?” He pokes her neck with his long index finger.

“Piss off, Fred.” Alicia slaps his finger away. 

Oliver frowns down at her. “Is this curtesy of the mysterious ‘A’?”

“Is it Maggie who’s in there with them?” Alicia asks, ignoring Oliver. 

Lee shakes his head. “It’s an older witch. I think from the research team? I overheard two other healers saying that the healer in charge used a treatment of adrenaline spells to spur Katie’s nerves back into consciousness.”

Alicia pulls her legs up towards herself. “I can’t believe she’s finally awake.”

“What’s the probability of her not being…not being quite how she used to be?” Oliver asks, the worry and anxiety they all feel heavy in his voice.

“I…She’s been in a coma for almost seven months.” Alicia says and nobody says anything for a while, taking in Alicia’s words and the meaning behind them. 

“But it was a curse induced coma. So maybe that’s different?” Angelina leans against the wall. George seems to contemplate something for a moment but then takes place next to her, his hand seeking Angelina’s. 

“Maybe. If we’re lucky then the curse put her into some form of stasis rather than shutting down the parts of the brain that keep you conscious.” Alicia wishes she’d have someone to hold on to, too. Then she can feel Fred’s shoulder next to hers and realises that she does. She grabs his hand and entwines her fingers with his. Fred seems surprised for a moment, they usually aren’t very tactile with each other but then he squeezes her hand reassuringly. “If it’s a stasis her mind will have been preserved to the moment the curse hit her.”

Oliver opens his mouth but then the door to Katie’s room opens. The healer, Alicia recognises her but can’t quite remember the name, comes out first, followed by Katie’s parents. Alicia lets herself be dragged to her feet by Fred.

“Oh.” Katie’s mum says and then she bursts into tears when she sees all of her daughter’s friends waiting anxiously. 

Mr Bell gives them a relieved smile. “She’s fine. She’s fine.” He embraces his wife and Alicia exhales, the worry for her friend leaving her body with the breath. 

“Can we see her?” Angelina asks and Mr and Mrs Bell nod. 

“Only for a short while.” The healer says sharply but moves out of the way so they can all enter the private room.

McGonagall is standing at the end of Katie’s bed, she’s holding on tightly to a wooden frame. Alicia thinks she can just about make out Dumbledore’s gentle face but then the frame is empty again. 

“Katie!” Lee says and then he’s at her side, embracing the petite witch gently. 

One after the other gets their chance to hug Katie who looks pale but has a soft smile on her face. 

“She’s not able to say much yet, her voice cords are too stale after months of not being used.” McGonagall says and only then do they greet their former head of house sheepishly. McGonagall doesn’t seem to mind that she’d been ignored and smiles at them benevolently. “I’d better return to the school. If I don’t hear anything contrary from your healer, I shall be taking you back to Hogwarts in two weeks time.” She says to Katie who nods weakly. McGonagall lets her eyes wander over the Gryffindors scattered around the bed. “It is good to see that your friendship is still going strong. We’ll need each other more than ever now.”

There’s just enough time for everyone to express to Katie how happy they are to see her awake before the healer sends them away again. Mr and Mrs Bell return to Katie’s room, happiness like a warm bubble around them. 

“Well, if this isn’t cause for celebration then I don’t know what is.” Fred says and it doesn’t take him long at all to convince everyone that a pub outing is in order. Alicia feels a little bad but she sends a message to Adria through the coin in her pocket. There’s no reply.

~||~

When Alicia returns to Adrian’s apartment three hours after she left to see Katie, Bimbly still clutching her clammy hand, she’s not only drunk but also angry. Angry at herself for lying to her best friends. Angry at herself for protecting not only Adrian but also his friends when they should be facing the consequences of their actions. And angry at Adrian for being part of the machinery that had put one of her best friends into a coma for half a year. Angry at Adrian for wiggling his way into her life, for making her smile at random moments throughout the day, for making her fall in love with him.

“I hate you, Adrian Pucey.” She slurs, still not letting go of the now slightly scared elf. “Where are you?” 

Adrian comes into the sitting room, a towel hanging loosely around his waist. “You’re drunk.” He regards her with an amused expression on his face.

“I am no such thing.” Alicia wants to cross her arms, but when she raises her right hand, she lifts a terrified Bimbly up with it.

“Can you stop manhandling my elf?” Adrian’s now very obviously holding back a grin and it makes Alicia even angrier.

“I hate you, you know.” She mumbles and lets go of the elf who disapparates with a sharp crack. “How dare you, Adrian Pucey.”

Adrian frowns. “You hate me?” 

Alicia nods. “I’m lying to my friends because of you. I’m protecting someone who is part of the reason why one of my best friends was in a coma for half a year.” She hiccups. Her voice feels throaty and heavy and Alicia’s sure she’s going to cry any moment now. “I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be with you. I shouldn’t want to be with you.” The tears start falling and Adrian is just staring at her. “But I want to be with you. All the time. And every time I’m not with you I worry. Worry that you have been caught or hurt or…” Her voice breaks and Adrian is in front of her, cupping her face gently between his hands. “Or killed.”

“I’m sorry, Alicia.” He kisses her forehead gently, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks, wiping her tears away. “I’m sorry you hate me.”

“So much.” She wraps her arms around Adrian’s waist. “I hate you so much.” 

Alicia pulls him closer, wanting to feel all of him. She wants to tell him how she really feels, but saying it out loud will make it real and she’s not ready for that. And Adrian is holding on to her so tightly that Alicia thinks that maybe she doesn’t have to tell him, maybe he already knows. She kisses him only breaking away briefly to tell him again how much she hates him. Adrian gently stirs her towards the bedroom, taking her clothes of as they walk. He pushes her down onto the bed, kissing her forehead, the side of her head, her cheek, her mouth. Between kisses he’s telling her over and over again how sorry he is.

~||~

“Remus couldn’t make it.” Charlie is sitting on the front porch of an old farm house somewhere in the Peak District. Alicia can hear chickens clucking in one of the outbuildings. “I’m not that good at wards but he told me you’d be able to show me.”

“Right.” Alicia clutches her wand tightly. She wonders whether she’ll ever stop feeling guilty looking at Charlie. 

Alicia shows him the incantation and they start at the same point then move away from each other to set up a warded circle around the farm house. The magic shimmers in the warm May sun and by the time they meet again on the other side of the house there’s a layer of sweat on Alicia’s forehead. She shrugs out of her jumper and wraps it around her waist. Charlie’s eyes flitter briefly over her bare shoulders and low cut top but before Alicia can fully process his reaction, they are already starting on the second layer, moving away from each other again.

“What next?” Charlie asks. He’s taken off his denim jacket and Alicia can see it discarded on the front steps of the farm house. 

“We stock the kitchen and check the phone line. Did Lupin give you groceries?” Alicia tightens the sleeves of the jumper wrapped around her waist.

Charlie nods and pats the outside of his trouser pockets. “Toiletries as well.”

They enter the house together. The air is stale and Alicia flicks her wand at the windows to open them. After making themselves familiar with the layout of the building Charlie disappears into the kitchen and Alicia unshrinks her first aid satchel from the pocket of her jeans. She sets up yet another first aid station, making sure that there’s enough gauze and that the healing potions are clearly labelled. Once she’s done, she joins Charlie in the kitchen. He’s got the phone in his hand, a frown on his face.

“No dial tone?” Alicia asks and takes a few steps closer. That’s when she hears it. A clear chime rings through the house. Her wand is in her hand instantly. “Charlie.” 

He hangs up the phone and together they sneak up to the kitchen window facing the front yard. There are two Death Eaters.

“Crap.” Charlie hisses and he steps away from the window. 

Alicia imitates him. “We can leave through the back.” 

Charlie nods. “Let me send a patronus to Moody first.” 

“Maybe I should. A dragon is a little too conspicuous.” Alicia raises her wand.

“It’s not a…alright.” He shrugs and Alicia casts her patronus to inform Moody of the safe house being compromised. 

They move quietly through the building. Alicia has a Protego on her lips when they leave through the back door but the tripping jinx the Death Eater hits her with still comes too fast for her to cast the protective spell. She goes down and the Bombarda the other Death Eater has send her way hits the wall instead. Charlie swears at her side and sends a Stupefy out towards them. Alicia stumbles back onto her feet, her eyes instantly finding the Death Eater who tripped her. His mask is a deep black with golden strands running down his face like lightning. She knows that a mask alone is not enough identification but Alicia just knows it’s Adrian. She knows it’s him by the way he moves, the way he holds his wand. Alicia’s too far away to get a good look at his wand to confirm that it is really him but then Charlie’s grabbing her hand and pulling her along, sending hexes back over his shoulder. They are running towards the edge of the anti-apparition ward.

Alicia finally casts a Protego but it’s shoddy spell work and just enough to cover their backs from the most direct of hits. Alicia looks back and the Death Eaters are chasing them. “Charlie, you can’t apparate straight back to the Burrow! Seven jumps!” She calls, her side is starting to burn and she bitterly regrets not finding the time to train with Tonks anymore likes she used to.

“I know.” Of course he does. Moody has told them time and time again that apparitions can be traced. If there are Death Eaters after them, they are to apparate seven times to shake them off. “As soon as we’re past the wards I’ll side-along you.” Charlie is not out of breath at all and he pulls Alicia along.

Alicia nods but then she stumbles over something and goes down. Pain shoots through her ankle and Alicia knows she’s sprained it. Charlie stops instantly and pulls her up. “Come on.” He hisses but then the Death Eaters are there and he has to let go of her again to deflect their hexes. 

Alicia turns herself around, ignoring the pain and sends stupefy after stupefy all of which are deflected by the two Death Eaters. Charlie casts a Protego Maxima and sharply pulls her up. They stumble along a couple of feet before a Confringo shatters the protective shield. Alicia feels something hit the back of her shoulder but there’s no immediate pain so she ignores it. Charlie turns around, his face in deep concentration. He sends a blasting spell at the ground in front of the two Death Eaters. His spell is so strong that Alicia can feel the vibrations of it in the air. There’s no time to make sure that Adrian isn’t hit because then they’re outside of the wards and Charlie pulls her close. They disapparate with a sharp crack. 

It’s windy. “One.” Charlie says and with a pull they’re gone again.

Rain now. “Two.” He looks down at her shoulder and freezes. Another crack and they disappear. 

“Alicia.” Charlie’s eyes are wide when they appear after the third jump. “Your shoulder.” 

She shakes her head. Alicia’s already realised what she’s been hit with. “Three. Four more, Charlie!” Crack.

“It will be en-“

“Three more!” Crack.

Alicia doubles over in pain. She can feel the dark matter curse move in her shoulder. “Go!” Crack.

It’s burning burning burning. “Six.” Charlie says softly against her ear. Crack.

She doesn’t know where they end up. Her shoulder is on fire and Alicia struggles to remain conscious. She’s in his arms and they are running through rain. Charlie sets her down somewhere (a sofa?) and turns her around. Her face is pushed against something soft, she can feel the heavy weight of Charlie straddling her. “Stop moving, Alicia.” He says, his voice strained. Alicia doesn’t know why he is asking her not to move, she isn’t, is she? “I’m sorry.” There’s a sharp pain in her shoulder and then she can feel Charlie’s wand digging into the open wound. “I’m sorry.” He says again. “Tergeo!” Alicia screams. She screams and screams and screams. When she’s finally engulfed in darkness Alicia welcomes unconsciousness with open arms.


	10. Chapter 10

The room is dark when she comes to. Alicia flinches at the numb pain in her shoulder and tries to sit up.

“Here.” Charlie holds something to her lips and she tilts her head back so he can pour the potion down her throat.

“Where are we?” Alicia’s voice sounds hoarse. The memory of screaming and thrashing underneath Charlie returns. 

“Whitby.” Charlie puts the empty potion vial on the bedside table. “You really scared me, Alicia.”

She pulls the blanket down. There’s a badly wrapped bandage covering her left shoulder. Charlie must have taken her top off at some point, she’s only wearing her bra. “You saved me.” She remembers a sprained ankle but there’s no pain so he must have healed it too.

“I shouldn’t have apparated seven times. There was so much blood.” He runs his hands over his face. “You’re bloody stubborn, you know that, right?”

“Are you hurt?” Alicia tries to focus on Charlie but she feels so tired. There’s something burning in the pocket of her jeans but she doesn’t have the energy to investigate. 

He shakes his head. “I don’t know how to cut a precise Diffindo… You were bleeding so badly while I was extracting the dark matter curse. I…I don’t know whether it’ll scar. I’m sorry, Alicia.” He gestures at a blood soaked piece of fabric in the corner of the bedroom. “I ruined your shirt.” And much more quietly. “I think I’ve given you a scar.”

Alicia frowns. “It’s…Don’t worry. There’s Dittany. Did you put essence of-?” She can see by the expression on his face that he hasn’t.

“Merlin…I didn’t even think of it. You passed out and I cleaned you up and then…I didn’t think. I was just watching you.” He looks crestfallen.

“It doesn’t matter. There’s…How long was I out for?”

“A couple of hours.” 

Alicia forces herself to smile at him. It’s too late for Dittany. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t mind having a scar. It’ll make me look dangerous.”

Charlie groans. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t. You saved my life. I was rubbish with the Death Eaters. I…I’m just no good at fighting.” Alicia’s fingers are itching to take her bandage off but she won’t do it in front of Charlie, not when he’s feeling so guilty about what he did.

“You aren’t meant to fight. You are our healer.” Charlie sighs deeply. “At least they didn’t coordinate their attacks. I mean, the first one send a tripping jinx at you and pretty much saved you from the Bombarda the other one tried to hit you with. We should send him a thank you card.” He grimaces. 

Adrian. Alicia had completely forgotten that he’d been there. She needs to look at the coin. “Could I…Could you get me some water, please?”

Charlie almost jumps up from the bed. “Of course. I’m sorry, I should have thought of that.”

“Charlie.” She gives him a level look. “Will you please stop apologising?”

He gives her a crooked smile. As soon as he’s gone Alicia pulls the charmed coin out of her jeans pocket. Are you okay? He’s alright. Adrian is alright. Alicia looks around for her wand to send a message back but she can’t see it. But Charlie’s wand is right there, lying on the bedside table. Alicia worries her lip. She’ll have to be quick. But her movements are sluggish and so Charlie returns to her pointing his wand at the coin. Alicia freezes.

“Your wand is downstairs. It fell out of your pocket when I carried you upstairs.” He puts down the glass of water on the bedside table.

“I’m sorry.” Alicia offers Charlie his wand back but he shakes his head.

“You can use it. It’s fine.” There’s an expression on his face that Alicia can’t read. “Is that a protean charm?” Alicia nods. “Handy to have. Go on, send your message.”

Alicia does and she’s so embarrassed, she doesn’t even realise how well Charlie’s wand works for her. “Thank you.”

Charlie nods and shoves his wand down his trouser pocket. He hands her the glass of water and Alicia empties it greedily. “Do you think you’re up to apparating?”

“Yes.” Alicia looks down at her bra. “Are there some clothes?”

Charlie follows her eyes but then quickly turns away as if only now realising that she’s been sitting in front of him half-naked all this time. “I’ll have a look.”

There’s indeed a selection of shirts in the wardrobe and Charlie hands her one that Alicia is certain she’s seen Tonks wear before. It’s a bit big on her but good enough for now. Charlie banishes her bloodied shirt from the room and then supports Alicia on the way downstairs to retrieve her wand. 

“I’m going to take you to the Burrow, okay? I’ve send a message to mum already.” Charlie is clutching his wand tightly as they leave the safe house to walk past the anti-apparition wards. 

“How do you think they found the farm?” Alicia asks as they are walking, Charlie holding her arm to support her. 

“I’m not sure. I thought that Shacklebolt and Moody have made all the safe houses unplottable already but obviously not.” 

Alicia ponders that for a moment. “Obviously not.” They’ve reached the edge of the wards. “Shame about the farm. I liked it there.”

Charlie nods. “Yeah.” He readies his wand for apparition. “I hope the chickens are okay.” 

~||~

Mrs Weasley is waiting for them when the appear by the gate to the Burrow. Alicia feels a little nauseous from the side-along but she does her best to smile as to not worry Mrs Weasley too much.

“It was the wrong farm.” Mrs Weasley says by way of greeting. She sounds furious. “He’s given you the wrong apparition coordinates.”

“Moody?” Charlie follows his mother into the house, Alicia still clinging on to his arm.

“No, Kingsley. He got mixed up. There’s a list with fake safe houses and their coordinates that Kingsley has left in his office. Ever since we found out that there are spies amongst the aurors, he’s been leaving wrong information lying around. When he send the coordinates to Remus to pass on to you two he accidentally looked at the list with the fakes.” Mrs Weasley puts on the kettle, her movements barely masking her fury. “I am going to hex his bloody ears off.”

“It was a mistake.” Alicia says and lets herself sink onto a chair. She leans back but then flinches when her shoulder brushes against the back of the chair.

“A mistake that could have gotten you both killed.” Mrs Weasley noisily rummages through the cupboard for some mugs. “What happened exactly?”

Charlie tells her, glossing over the bloody mess that was getting the dark matter curse out of Alicia’s shoulder. Alicia feels herself doze off a little but then there’s a hot cup of tea in her hands. She blinks a couple of times. “Thank you.”

Mrs Weasley smiles at her. “That’s alright. Can I look at your shoulder?” 

Alicia nods. She puts down the mug and, with some help from Mrs Weasley, shrugs out of her t-shirt. Charlie is facing away from them, his gaze firmly on the window to the garden.   
Mrs Weasley gingerly unwraps the bandage around Alicia’s shoulder, tutting at Charlie’s poor bandaging skills. 

“Is it…How does it look?” Alicia asks. She’s angry at herself for caring. It’s only a scar. She’s alive.

“It’s not that bad.” Mrs Weasley accios a small handheld mirror from somewhere and passes it on to Alicia. 

It takes Alicia a moment to work out the best angle but then she has the mirror in a position where she can see the back of her left shoulder. She swallows. There’s about four inches of an angry red cut. It isn’t quite the straight line she’s used to seeing when she uses a Diffindo. Charlie’s hand must have been shaking when he cut her open. The skin is a little raised but Alicia knows that it’ll eventually calm and leave a crooked white scar behind. But Mrs Weasley is right. It’s not that bad.

“It’s not bad at all.” Alicia puts the mirror down. Mrs Weasley wants to help her back into the shirt but Alicia stops her. Charlie is still staring out of the window. “Charlie.” No reaction. “Charlie.” She says again, more bite in her voice now. “Look at it, Charlie. It’s okay. You’ve saved me and I’ll have a scar reminding me of that.”

Finally Charlie turns his face towards her. “Reminding you that you almost died?”

“Reminding me that you were there to save me.” Alicia turns in her chair so Charlie can see her left shoulder. “See. Not bad. I look badass.”

Charlie is smiling weakly when she turns around again, now accepting Mrs Weasley’s help in getting her back into her shirt. Mrs Weasley vanishes the bandage. Alicia takes a sip of her tea, letting the warmth ease her exhaustion somewhat. 

“Let me make you some food.” Mrs Weasley squeezes her right shoulder gently and then busies herself in the kitchen.

“Stop being mopey now.” Alicia leans forward a little. “If you want to blame someone blame Shacklebolt or my poor reflexes. But stop blaming yourself.”

He looks at her for a long moment. “Alright.” 

Alicia smiles. “Hey, will you back me up if I tell everyone I got the scar fighting a dragon?”

Charlie returns her smile. “Sure. But only because it’s you.” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe I’ve just agreed to tarnish their already poor reputation.”

“It’s a better story though.” Alicia shrugs but then flinches at the pain it causes to her shoulder. Charlie looks at her worriedly so Alicia covers it up with another smile. “Alicia Spinnet, dragon slayer. It’s got a ring to it, don’t you think?”

Charlie grins. “You’re stupid, Spinnet.”

“Stupidly brave.” She raises an eyebrow at him. “Because of the whole slaying a dragon thing.”

“Whatever.” Charlie rolls his eyes but there’s still a grin on his lips. “Dragon slayer…” He huffs. 

“There you go.” Mrs Weasley puts a plate of sandwiches down for them. 

Alicia smiles up at her, there’s a pensive expression on the older witches face. “Thank you.”

Mrs Weasley nods briefly. “Of course.” She looks like she’s going to say something else but then she just smiles at Alicia again and walks back to the kitchen. Alicia frowns. She turns her gaze back to Charlie and just catches the end of an expression she hadn’t expected to see on Charlie’s face ever again. He’d looked at her with want in his eyes.

~||~

“I didn’t…I didn’t know he hit you.” Adrian gently touches the pink skin around her cut. “I am going to kill him.”

Alicia turns to face him. “You can’t. Don’t do anything that would make them question your loyalties. Who was it?”

“Why were you even there? We’ve been to several safe houses that day and they were all empty. Hardly even protected.” Adrian runs his eyes over her body as if to check for injuries that she may have overlooked. Archibald winds his body around Adrian’s legs and he absentmindedly bends down to pet the cat. 

“They are dupes. The list… They’re fake.” Alicia shrugs back into Tonks’ shirt. “Shacklebolt made a mistake. He gave us the coordinates for a safe house from the dupes. We weren’t meant to be there. Who was the other Death Eater?”

“You need to work on your reflexes.” He says, ignoring her question again. “Weasley is good. Really good. But you are waiting too long before you cast. Like you are worrying about the injuries your spell will cause. You can’t hesitate.”

“I’m not meant to fight. It was a one off.” Alicia knows he’s right but it puts her on the defensive. She knows she’s slow to cast. She knows what curses do to somebody. Alicia isn’t sure how she feels about inflicting pain on another human being. Death Eater or not.

“You might not have a choice soon.” 

“Adrian.” 

He sighs. “There’s…Alicia, I need you to leave the country.”

“No. What is going to happen?” He looks away and Alicia walks over to him, raising her hands so she can put them on his shoulders, forcing him to look at her. “Adrian.”

“Things are going to get bad. Really bad.” He turns away from her to sit down on the sofa. Archibald jumps onto his lap.

Alicia watches him. “Do you know what a cat-sith is?

“Vaguely.” If Adrian is confused by her sudden change of topic he doesn’t show it.

“Moody told me about them. They are basically the opposite of kneazles. They seek out dark wizards. Not as a warning like a kneazle would but because they like dark wizards.” Alicia worries her lip. “He said Archibald might have some cat-sith in him.”

Adrian rubs the spot between her cat’s ears. “I don’t think I’ve ever claimed to be anything but a dark wizard.”

“They turn to those wanting to cause harm.” The cut on her left shoulder feels itchy. “What is the incantation for the dark matter curse?” She never saw who cast the spell.

“Alicia, I will never cause you harm.” Adrian’s on his feet now, Archibald dropped to the floor unceremoniously. “I would never hurt you.”

“But you want me to leave. To get away from it all.” She can feel tears rushing into her eyes. “Cursing me… Was that to scare me? To try and get me to hide?”

“I did not cast that curse. I…” Adrian steps closer to her, flinching when Alicia backs away. “I will never hurt you. I am doing everything to protect you.”

“Tell me then. Tell me what you are doing that’s supposedly protecting me.” She angrily wipes at her face. 

Adrian exhales sharply. “Can’t you just trust me?”

Alicia does trust him. She trusts him with her life. But she’s not sure whether that trust is reciprocated. “I will trust you the moment you trust me.” 

“You think I don’t trust you?”

“You don’t tell me anything. You don’t answer my questions.” Adrian opens his mouth but Alicia shakes her head. “Who was the Death Eater? What are you doing that you think is protecting me? How are things going to get worse?”

Adrian looks at her for a long moment. “Amycus Carrow.” He says eventually. 

“Right.” Alicia stores that information away. She’ll have to tell Moody. 

“I am making you useful.” 

She doesn’t understand. “You are making me useful?”

Adrian nods. Just once but sharply. “I am.”

He’s got that look on his face that tells her he won’t expand so she doesn’t press him. Part of her isn’t sure she even wants to know what he means by that. “What is going to happen that will make things worse than they already are?”

“If I tell you they will know it was me.” He looks resigned. 

Alicia knows this is it. This is what Snape meant when he warned her to make sure to remember which side she is on. This is her chance to find out vital information for the Order. Information that will stop one of You-Know-Who’s nefarious schemes. Information that will protect the people she’s sworn to protect. Information that will make sure her friends stay alive. “Don’t…” Her voice breaks. She can’t, she’s not strong enough. Because she chooses him. Alicia will always choose him. 

Adrian embraces her and she cries until her head hurts and her throat is hoarse. 

~||~

Alicia has no idea how she is meant to go on living with herself. She is sitting between Angelina and Oliver, their hands linked over Alicia’s lap. Oliver is deadly pale and Angelina is crying. Alicia has never seen Angelina cry before. Alicia stares at the shock of red hair in front of her. This is on me, she thinks. She forces her gaze away. Alicia can hardly make out the stark white tomb from where she is sitting, but again she thinks, this is on me too. She knows that by protecting Adrian she’s failed to protect Dumbledore from getting killed, she’s failed to protect Bill from carrying scars for the rest of his life. Realistically she knows that things still may have turned out the way they did, but that doesn’t stop the guilty thoughts building up in her head. 

“He seemed invincible.” Angelina says when they sit by the lake with George, Fred and Lee after the service. “Immortal.”

“He was the last one standing between You-Know-Who and victory.” Lee looks more somber than ever. “The last protection muggleborns had.” 

“There is still Harry.” George says fiercely. “We cannot lose hope. Not now.” 

Fred wraps an arm around Lee’s shoulders. “I will look out for you.” He leans closer to them all. “Dad’s been setting up a Fidelius. Can’t tell you where but there’s going to be a place for us when shit hits the fan.”

Alicia doesn’t think there is going to be a place for her. She doesn’t deserve to be safe. And still. Alicia knows that if she’d be put in the same situation again she still wouldn’t make Adrian tell her if it meant he’d be safe. Doesn’t matter if it’ll destroy her. Alicia knows she’s being dramatic but she is not going to lose the first boy she’s ever loved. 

“Alicia?” Angelina bumps her shoulder against hers. “Are you with us?”

“Yes. Sorry. I was just thinking…I don’t know. I could have done something.” 

“Don’t, Alicia. That’s not healthy. Nobody…I mean, we were so sure that Snape was on our side. Dumbledore trusted him blindly. And we trusted Dumbledore. Moody is furious.” Angelina pulls her into a hug. “He is sure that’s how the Death Eaters always seemed to be a step ahead of us.”

“He definitely told them.” Fred snarls. “Like about the wards.”

“The wards?” Alicia has missed a couple of Order meetings so she’s not heard Moody’s latest rants. 

“Yeah. They knew that we’re using the same protective wards that St Mungo’s is as well. They’ve developed a spell to break them with the flick of a wand.” George throws an acorn towards the lake. “And about the werewolves.”

Alicia’s head hurts. She feels like there’s a connection she’s meant to be making but the overbearing feeling of guilt and grief is all she has the mental capacity for. “What about the werewolves?”

“Lupin was trying to get the werewolves in central Europe and the Balkans on our side or at least convince them to stay neutral. They agreed at first but then the Death Eaters must have found them, I think it was around Christmas, and obviously they’ve given them a better incentive to join You-Know-Who instead.” 

“Or Knockturn Alley. We’ve been watching that bloody shop for ages-that’s where the other half of the vanishing cabinet was, you know- and then, bam, they suddenly know.” Alicia can feel Angelina shake with anger next to her as she’s talking about the vanishing cabinet.

Fred nods at Angelina’s words. “He told them where we were watching them from. Snape made sure that Lupin and Hestia Jones were discovered that night. He never liked Lupin.” 

“And don’t forget about the safe house dupes.” Lee’s eyes flicker to Alicia’s left shoulder. They’ve all seen her scar. “Shacklebolt said that they knew they were fakes but still blew them all up. And all the surrounding houses.” He doesn’t say that muggles died, he doesn’t have to. “They send a message to him after. Don’t try to fool us again.” 

Alicia buries her face in her hands. All these things happened whilst Dumbledore was still alive. What on earth was going to happen now that the greatest wizard of their time is dead?

~||~  
The coin in her jeans pocket is burning. Alicia ignores it. She’s not seen Adrian for almost a week now but this is more important.

“Please, mum. You are no longer safe here.” Alicia is moments away from sinking to her knees and beg if that’s what it will take for her mother to leave. 

“I’m as safe as I can be. There are just muggles around. Nobody knows I’m a muggleborn witch. I’ve not been to Diagon Alley in years, not since your fourth year. And it’s been even longer since I’ve been to the Ministry.” Her mum is calm, even after Alicia told her about Dumbledore’s death and the war. 

“They still have your records at the Ministry.” Tonks says quietly from her position near the living room window. “Kingsley Shacklebolt is certain that You-Know-Who’s next move will be to take over the Ministry. No muggleborn will be safe then. No matter where they live.”

“I appreciate the two of you coming around but I am fine.” 

Alicia could scream. “Do you even know where your wand is, mum?”

“Of course.” Her mother looks a little flustered by her question. “It’s in my bedside drawer.”

“So if Death Eaters were to apparate into your garden right this moment you wouldn’t be able to do anything to protect yourself. You wouldn’t be able to apparate to safety.” Alicia forces herself to unclench her fist. “You’d be dead.”

“But why would they? Surely they’ve got more important people to go after than me.” There’s a levity in her mother’s voice Alicia just can’t bear. 

“No offence, Mrs Spinnet, but your daughter is a member of the Order. An active resistance fighter. They have every reason to go after you.” Tonks finally moves away from the large window. 

Alicia takes a deep breath. She’s never wanted to think of it that way, but Tonks is right. Her mother is in danger purely because Alicia chose to fight. “Mum, I don’t want to be the reason why you are in danger, but I am. I can’t not fight.”

“You said you were just a healer. Alicia, you did not say that you are fighting.” Now there’s panic in her mother’s voice. Not when her own life is in danger, but when her daughter’s is. 

“I am just a healer. I don’t fight unless I have to.” There have been a few instances since Dumbledore’s funeral where she had to join the fighting. She’s still too slow when casting but she’s in better shape than she was when she and Charlie were attacked at the safe house in South Yorkshire. “At least keep your wand on you.”

Her mother sighs heavily. “Alright.” 

“And this.” Alicia holds out a tattered looking blue ribbon. “It’s a portkey to one of our safe houses.” Moody had come up with the idea. All members of the Order had been given a ribbon that would take them to a safe house in case they were too hurt to apparate. “To activate it you just have to tap it with your wand. It’s set to ten seconds. This one will take you to a safe house in Brighton.” Alicia has been given a bunch of them in her role as a healer in case she needs to send someone with an injury to a safe house but isn’t able to go with them straight away. 

“You are very brave, Alicia.” Her mother takes the ribbon. “Although I’d rather you were removed from it all, I am proud of you. Your father would have done the same.”

“I…Mum, when this is all over will you tell me about him?” Alicia swallows down her tears. “I know it’s not easy for you to talk about him…But I want to know more.”

Her mother pulls her into a tight embrace. “Of course. I will tell you everything. I should have already been doing that. I’m sorry, my love.” She kisses Alicia’s forehead. “When this is all over we are going to take that trip to Scarborough and I will tell you all about your father.” 

Alicia can hear the door shut. Tonks is giving them some space and Alicia gives in to her tears. She holds on to her mother tightly. “Mum…”

“Yes, my dear?”

“I love you, you know that right? That’s why I’ve joined the Order. To protect the ones I love.” Alicia mumbles against her mother’s shoulder.

“I love you too, darling.” She can hear the tears in her mother’s voice. “And I wish I could do more to protect you. But he is, isn’t he? Adrian. He is protecting you?”

Alicia nods. She still doesn’t know how, but she knows that he is doing something to try and keep her safe. 

“That’s good. It makes me happy, you know.” Her mother pulls away and smiles at her daughter. “It makes me happy to know that you’ve got Adrian to look after you.”

There’s a sharp intake of breath behind them. Alicia turns around to Tonks with her hand in front of her mouth. She didn’t hear her come back in. 

“Adrian?” Tonks asks and Alicia can almost see her going through all the Adrians she knows in her mind.

Her mother smiles. “Yes. Alicia’s boyfriend. I think?” She looks at Alicia who can’t move. Alicia doesn’t know what to say to make her mother not continue talking. “He used to play Quidditch with Alicia at Hogwarts. Or well, against her, really. He was in Slytherin.” 

Tonks makes an ‘oh’ sound. 

“We better go, mum. I’ll come visit as soon as I can.” She gives her mum a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll call you.”

~||~

“Adrian Pucey?” Tonks hisses at her as soon as they appear at the gates of the Burrow after side-alonging from her mother’s house. Alicia makes a non-committal sound. “Alicia. Are you dating Adrian Pucey?”

“Not officially.” She says eventually.

Tonks groans. “Oh, Merlin. Is he a Death Eater?” The older witch opens the gate. “Please tell me he isn’t. Surely you’re not that stupid to-“

“There you are! Dinner is ready.” Mrs Weasley cheerfully calls from the open kitchen window. “Come on then. Everyone’s waiting.”

Alicia takes a seat next to George at the kitchen table. Tonks is sitting between Charlie and Mrs Weasley and across from her. There’s a deep scowl on her face. Alicia’s never seen her look so cross before. 

“Did you get into an argument with Tonks?” George asks, his face close to her ear.

Alicia shrugs. She needs to get away from this dinner table and Tonks. “Can we go upstairs? I’m not really hungry.” 

George sighs at his full plate. “Sure.”

They excuse themselves and leave, Tonks staring daggers at the back of her head and Charlie looking a little confused. 

“Where’s Fred?” Alicia asks and crawls into the bottom half of the bunk bed. George sits down on the floor, his back leaning against the bed frame.

“He’s with dad and Bill at the-“ George frowns. “Huh.”

“Fidelius?” 

George nods. “They must have finished the spell then. Bill and dad are secret keepers. Not sure when dad’ll be back but I’m sure he’ll tell you.”

“It’s alright.” Alicia doesn’t want to know. She’s already hurt the Weasleys enough by not asking Adrian about You-Know-Who’s plans. She doesn’t want her presence to put anyone at risk.

“How’s your mum?” George turns his face towards her. “Is she going to move into one of the safe houses?”

Alicia sighs. “No. She’s refusing to leave. I don’t know what to say to convince her. I told her about the war and Dumbledore and what Shacklebolt said about the Ministry becoming more anti-muggle and anti-muggleborn every single day. She’s so sure that she’s safe in Margate.”

“I’m sorry, Al. Just keep bugging her, I’m sure she’ll see sense eventually. Maybe ask Moody for someone to watch her house?” George reaches up and they entwine their hands.

“We both know that we don’t have the manpower for that. I just have to hope that she’s right and she won’t be found living amongst muggles like that.” Alicia turns to her side so she can see George’s face. “Let’s talk about something else. Have you asked Angelina to be your wedding date yet?”

George blushes. It’s cute because he hardly ever does. “Not yet.”

“George Weasley! Your brother’s wedding is less than two weeks away.” 

“So there’s plenty of time.” 

Alicia rolls her eyes at that. “If you wait too long somebody else might ask her. It’s the Yule ball all over again.”

“Well that is not going to happen again. Fred doesn’t want to have a date for the wedding. He’s not shut up about Fleur’s veela cousins for weeks now.” George gets up and Alicia shuffles over so he can lie down beside her. “Do you think Oliver is going to ask her?”

Alicia clears her throat to cover the sudden need to giggle. Boys. “No.”

George faces her. “What makes you so sure? They’re really close.”

“George.” Alicia looks straight into his eyes. “Oliver is gay.”

For a moment nothing happens and then George sits up so quickly that he hits his head on Fred’s bed above him. “Since when?” He rubs the top of his head.

“Since forever. Do you remember when he walked in on Angelina and I naked?”

“No. Lucky sod.” He grins and Alicia pokes him in the side. “Ouch.” He lies back down. 

“Well, he freaked out. Wouldn’t speak to us for a whole term. I thought he was just embarrassed but he eventually told us that that was when he realised that he doesn’t find girls attractive at all.” Alicia laughs softly. “Did wonders for our confidence, of course. But Oliver was just so all over the place that he couldn’t face us without thinking about that realisation so he avoided us instead.”

“Why hasn’t he told us that?” George sounds a little hurt.

“I’m sure he will. I think there are just other things on everybody’s mind right now.” Alicia grabs his hand again. “How come you are not jealous of Lee? I mean, he and Angelina live together.”

Now it’s George’s turn to laugh. “Lee’s head over heels for Katie. Always has been.”

“What? I hadn’t realised.” Alicia thinks back on how relieved Lee was when Katie finally woke up again. “I didn’t have a clue.”

“You never have a clue when it comes to working out who fancies who.” 

“Oi! I knew that you fancy Angelina. And that Fred fancies everyone. Only because I didn’t know about Lee…” Alicia shakes her head. “I think I’m pretty good at telling who likes who.”

George laughs again. “No, you’re shit. Do you remember Adrian Pucey?”

Alicia thinks she does a little more than just remember him. “Mhm.”

“He had a huge crush on you.” George winks at her. 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” 

He grins. “I’m not. I overhead him talking to Flint and Bletchley in the changing rooms once. Wouldn’t shut up about you until Flint told him to stuff it. And then there was the very obvious staring. And the only ever playing a little more aggressively when he was trying to get the quaffle from you. He just wanted to touch you.”

Alicia can’t help but blush at his words. Adrian had already pretty much admitted that he fancied her at Hogwarts but it’s still nice to her it from someone else. “Whatever, George.”

“You’re blushing! Alicia, did you fancy him too?” He frowns. “No wait. You fancied my brother.” 

“I did fancy Charlie.” Alicia pushes away the thought of how he looked at her after the safe house incident. 

“Mhm.” George faces away from her again. “Shame that didn’t- Wait. Adrian Pucey. Adrian. A.”

Alicia lays very still. Not him too. “Maybe we should-“

“Alicia. Is Adrian Pucey A?”

There’s a knock on the door and then Charlie pokes his head in, his eyes shut. “Everyone dressed?” 

“Ew, don’t be gross.” Alicia says, not even offended but just relieved that George can’t interrogate her further. 

“Oi, Spinnet! That was a bit uncalled for.” George elbows her. 

Charlie laughs and comes into the room fully. “Just thought I’d make sure. George has never skipped dinner before and we all know that you have a thing for redheads.”

Alicia blushes. “We were just talking.”

“It’d be a bit gross if she went from you to me, to be honest.” George rolls off the bed to stand by his older brother. “A bit like that Mexican telenovela.”

Charlie frowns. “I don’t think I want to know.” 

“You don’t.” Alicia gets out of bed and straightens her jumper. 

“Right. Moody’s called a meeting.” Charlie looks all serious now. “It’s about Harry.”

“Is he alright?” George asks.

“As far as we know. Moody just wants to talk about how to get him to the Burrow. With him having the trace and whatnot.”

Alicia worries her lip. “We better go downstairs then.”

Charlie leads the way but George holds her back for a moment. “I’ve not forgotten about A. You owe me an answer, Spinnet.”

Alicia nods. She does owe him an answer. Just like she owes one to Tonks. Alicia just doesn’t know what her answer should be.


	11. Chapter 11

“Down down down!” Oliver shouts and drags her to the ground with him. Alicia can feel her knee scraping open. Her hand’s bloodied and she struggles to hold on to her wand.

“Where are the others?” Alicia lets herself be pulled behind a children’s playhouse. 

They are somewhere in Surrey. Moody and Shacklebolt have put protective wards on a random house a few towns over from where Harry actually lives. They were hoping that it’d force the Death Eaters to spread themselves more thinly and give Harry more protection. So Oliver, Angelina, Charlie, Lee and Alicia had been sent to the fake Harry house. They hadn’t been flying for more than fifteen minutes when the first attacks had come. And now she and Oliver are on some playground with no idea where the others are.

“I think I saw Lee and Angelina double back. They’ve flown back towards the fake Harry house.” Oliver whispers, they can both hear the two Death Eaters throwing curses at random playground objects.

“And Charlie?” Alicia wipes her right hand on her jeans. She can’t risk losing her wand. 

“I don’t know.” Oliver lifts his head to peek out over the playhouse. A curse comes flying their way and Alicia throws a Protego Maxima over them as they scramble to get into the patch of woods ahead.

Oliver grabs her hand as they are stumbling through the underbush. There’s no way they want to get separated. “There!” He points at a flash of red hair ahead of them. 

Charlie is standing over a Death Eater. He’s bound him up with an Incarcerous. He’s got a few scratches over his face but looks unhurt apart from that. Charlie gives them a weak smile. “Alright?”

Alicia nods. “Do you want me to heal those?” 

“No, it’s fine.” Charlie looks over their shoulders. “No one chasing you?”

Oliver frowns. “There were two…”

Suddenly it’s getting really cold. Alicia can see her breath form white clouds in front of her face. Her eyes widen. “Dementors.” 

Charlie comes closer and takes Alicia’s arm. “Oliver.” 

Oliver steps back until he’s within reach. Alicia grabs his hand. “We need to get out of here.” She says.

“What about him?” Oliver nods towards the Death Eater on the ground. 

“We leave him.” Charlie says, his voice cold. 

“We can’t just leave him.” Alicia pulls away from them. “I’ve got some left over St Mungo’s portkey ribbons.” She takes her shrunken satchel out of her jeans pocket.

“Not enough time!” There’s a hint of panic in Oliver’s voice.

“I am not leaving anybody to dementors.” Alicia squats next to the Death Eater to wrap the ribbon around his wrist. She takes off his mask. It isn’t Adrian. She didn’t think it would be as the mask looks different, but she had to make sure. It’s someone she doesn’t know, he’s unconscious. Charlie must have stupefied him. 

“Alicia.” Charlie has his wand out. It’s bitterly cold now. 

Alicia looks up, she can see the tattered black robes of the dementors through the tree tops. “Just a second.” She taps the ribbon to activate it. It’s red, all the ribbons to the safe houses are blue so she wouldn’t ever mix them up. 

“Hurry.” Oliver hisses. “Expecto Patronum!” He shouts, his wand aimed at the sky above them. Oliver’s golden retriever patronus bounds towards the dementors. 

Alicia steps back. “Ten seconds.”

“We need to apparate now. There are too many of them.” Charlie holds his left hand out, his other is still aiming at the dementors. 

Alicia joins her friends but her eyes are still on the Death Eater. And then with a whoosh he’s gone. She can feel Charlie’s hand on her arm. “Seven times.”

“Watch out!” Oliver shouts, he’s backing into her and Charlie. 

Alicia holds on to his hand. “I’ll apparate. Charlie, we could do with another patronus.”

Charlie exhales and mumbles something but then shouts “Expecto Patronum!” 

Alicia tries to focus on the apparition. A silver mist bursts forth from Charlie’s wand. Destination. Determination. Deliberation. Alicia shuts her eyes. With a pull they are gone.

~||~

Alicia stumbles down onto the ground. There’s shouting around her. She’s exhausted, her hand stings and her throat is bone dry. Then strong hands grab onto her and pull her upright.

“Alright?” Charlie stabilises her with an arm around her waist.

She nods. “Yeah.” 

Oliver is bend over, his hands on his knees. “I fucking hate apparating.” 

“Charlie!” Mrs Weasley shouts, her face deadly white. 

“Oh no.” Alicia has seen that face before. “Who is it?” 

Mrs Weasley ignores her but crushes into Charlie who lets go of Alicia to embrace his mum. Mrs Weasley starts crying.

“Alicia, quickly!” Lupin grabs her arm and pulls her towards the Burrow. “A curse…George.”

“What? What happened to George?” Alicia’s exhaustion disappears. George is lying on the sofa, one side of his face bloodied. Harry is sitting on an armchair, he’s got his face buried in his hands. 

“A curse sliced his ear off.” Lupin says, his tone anxious. Alicia can’t see Tonks, she’s obviously not back yet.

“Alright. Let me have a look.” Alicia kneels at George’s side and examines what’s left of his ear. She can hear Hermione and Shacklebolt arriving next. 

“Is Ron back yet?” Hermione asks, her voice strained. 

“No.” Ginny embraces her friend and they go outside to join Mrs Weasley and Charlie.

“It’s a curse wound. There’s nothing I can do. Just heal it.” Alicia takes her satchel off her shoulder and digs around for some Dittany. She uses her wound to siphon away some of the blood.

“George!” Fred bursts into the room, pushing Alicia out of the way and leaning over his brother. 

Alicia scrambles to her feet. She tuts but doesn’t say anything. 

“The diversion?” Shacklebolt asks from behind her and Alicia turns around.

“It kind of worked. There were at least ten Death Eaters. Two were after Oliver and I. Charlie got one and I sent him to St Mungo’s with a portkey.” She’d completely forgotten about that. “Somebody might want to check on that.”

Shacklebolt nods and is already drawing his wand to send a patronus message. Alicia walks up to the sink to get some water to clear George’s wound. She anxiously looks out of the window. Where are Angelina and Lee? 

“Ron!” Hermione squeals and Alicia watches her awkwardly hugging her friend. She smiles softly. Tonks and Lupin are embracing too.

Alicia returns to the living room. George is awake now, he’s joking softly with Fred who’s glued to his side. Alicia holds the bowl of warm water out to them. “Clean his wound. Then put some essence of Dittany on it.” She nods at the small vial on the coffee table.

Charlie and Mrs Weasley are still outside. Alicia joins them.

“Bill and Fleur.” Mrs Weasley says softly. “Angelina and Lee.” 

Charlie is holding on to his mum’s arm. “Mundungus and Moody.”

Alicia looks out at the fields beyond the burrow. Suddenly Angelina’s lion patronus shoots towards them. 

‘We are fine. Lee lost his wand. Had to use portkey to safe house. Will wait a couple of hours before looking for wand and then come to Burrow.’ Angelina’s voice sounds tired. 

“Oh thank god for that.” Alicia loosens her grip on her wand slightly. 

Mrs Weasley nods. “Right. I better…I am going to make tea. I can’t…”

“He’ll be fine, mum. It’s Bill.” Charlie reassures his mother. Mrs Weasley gives him a weak smile and then walks towards the Burrow.

“He will be, you know.” Alicia stands a little closer to Charlie. “He’s the second most dangerous Weasley.”

Charlie’s hand finds hers. “Who’s the first then?”

Alicia grins up at him. “Ginny, obviously.”

“Obviously.” He doesn’t quite return her smile. 

They look at each other for a moment. Alicia rakes her brain of things to say but draws a blank. 

“Look!” Charlie gestures at something over her shoulder. The thestral with Bill and Fleur is descending towards the Burrow. Alicia can see a slight shimmer when it goes through the layers of protective wards over the Weasley’s home. 

Bill looks pale but doesn’t seem to have any visible injuries. Fleur is crying silently. “He’s dead.” Bill says as soon as he’s off the animal and closer to Alicia and Charlie. “You-Know-Who killed Moody. Mundungus…that cowardly piece of shit…he disapparated as soon as the Death Eaters showed up.”

Alicia’s eyes widen. “But he…” Alicia doesn’t know how to continue the sentence. Moody was their strategist, their not so unofficial leader after Dumbledore’s death and probably even before then. Moody was the backbone and the heart of the Order. She can feel the tears running down her cheeks. Charlie pulls her into an embrace and she sobs against his chest. “What do we do now?” 

“We keep fighting.” Charlie kisses the top of her head. “We keep vigilant.”

~||~

Bimbly apparates them into the bedroom of Adrian’s flat. It’s just gone half past two in the morning. Alicia had snuck out from the twin’s bedroom where she was meant to be sleeping. It took Bimbly a little to get through the wards but he eventually made it to the Weasley’s bathroom where Alicia was waiting. 

Alicia half-expected Adrian to not be there, but he is. His hair is standing up every which way and he looks exhausted. As soon as he sees it’s her though he’s out of bed.

“What happened?” He pulls her close. 

Alicia takes a moment to just breathe in the smell of him. “Moody’s dead.” She quickly tells him about the diversion and Harry’s escape. She doesn’t say where he is but it wouldn’t matter if she did. Everyone knows that Harry would go to the Burrow at some point during the summer. 

“I wish they wouldn’t put you in danger like that. Are you okay?” Alicia nods against his chest. “I knew something was going on tonight. He sent a few of us to the Ministry though. Just in case Shacklebolt would call in the aurors for backup.”

“He wouldn’t. I think Shacklebolt knows we’ve lost the Ministry.” Alicia pulls away a little. “I can’t stay long. I’m still at the Burrow.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t just send a message.” He runs his hands down her body, lightly brushing the skin under pyjama top. “I see you little enough as it is.”

“I know.” Alicia leans into his touch. She looks up at him and Adrian presses his lips softly against hers, his tongue brushing over her bottom lip. His hands dip into her pyjama bottoms and he squeezes her bum. Alicia moans into his mouth.

“Stay.” He whispers, massaging her bum. Alicia can feel his erection pressing against her stomach. “Please.”

“I can’t.” She pulls away. “I’ve been here too long already. Can Bimbly take me back?”

Adrian groans. “If I say no, will you stay?”

“I’m sorry.” 

He gives her a weak smile. “It’s fine. I know you can’t.” Adrian kisses her forehead. “But promise me you won’t be taking part in any more diversions like that.”

“I can’t promise that. I don’t think it’ll get any easier.” Alicia looks up at him. “I don’t think we should be making promises to each other we won’t be able to keep.”

“But you still hate me, yes?” There’s a smile on his face and Alicia knows that’s not what he really means.

“Yes.” She leans her head against his shoulder. “Very much so.”

“Good.” He says against the top of her head. “Because I hate you too.”

~||~

“Pull yourself together, Oliver.” Alicia shoves another tissue into Oliver’s face. “You’re worse than Mrs Weasley.”

Oliver dabs the tissue against his eyes. “It’s beautiful though.”

Angelina rolls her eyes to Oliver’s left. “It is. But still not enough reason to bawl your eyes out like that.”

“It’s just a wedding.” Alicia smiles. It is a beautiful wedding though. The sun is just setting and Bill and Fleur are exchanging vows. Charlie, who’s Bill’s best man, looks fantastic in his dress robes. Alicia keeps catching herself looking at him. She returns to watching Fleur who is just ethereal bathed in the sunset like that. 

“It’s so good to have something like this happen.” Lee says to her right. “Gives you hope, doesn’t it?” He links his hand with Katie who is sitting next to him, a big smile on both their faces.

Alicia nods. “It does.” 

How could she not feel hopeful on a day like today? She’s surrounded by all her friends and watching two people who love each other promising to spend the rest of their lives together. And still. Her eyes flicker to the ginger boy who’s really a polyjuiced Harry. She’s been watching him and Ron and Hermione whisper all day and Alicia is sure that whatever they’ve got planned is going to be soon upon them. Hermione looks ready to go at a moment’s notice. Alicia’s also noticed the flickers in the wards around the Burrow. Somebody is trying to push through them. They are not as safe as they all want to be. Alicia’s hand subconsciously goes to her chest, she’s stuffed her first aid satchel into her bra, shrunken down as small as she’d been able to. 

~||~

“I can’t eat another bite.” George leans back. They’re sitting at one of the tables under the wedding tent. Most have been moved already to make space for dancing. 

“Nobody’s forced you to eat three slices of wedding cake.” Angelina scolds him but there’s a soft expression on her face. 

Alicia plays with a dessert spoon. “Where is Fred?”

Lee and George grin at each other. “Last I saw him, he was taking french kissing literally.” George winks. “Because he was kissing a French girl.”

“He’s such a dog.” Alicia can’t help but smile. 

George clears his throat. “Right.” He turns to Angelina. “Let’s dance.” He holds out his arm. Angelina grabs it and they’re off. After a while Lee and Katie join them.

Oliver looks at Alicia. “I don’t want to dance with you.”

“Cheers, Oliver.” Alicia rolls her eyes at him. “I don’t want to dance with you either.” Her eyes find Viktor Krum. “Hey, you could ask Krum. Tall, dark and broody. Just your type.”

“Fuck off.” Oliver points his tongue out at her.

Alicia shrugs. “It’s either him or Mrs Weasley. Oh look, she’s coming our way.” 

Oliver jumps out of his seat but then flicks Alicia off when he sees that Mrs Weasley is dancing with her husband. “You are such an idiot.” 

“I know.” Alicia worries her lip. “I told George. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Oliver sits down again. “I’ve meant to tell them for ages, but it just seems so insignificant compared to everything else that’s been going on.” 

“It’s not. It’s who you are. That’s important.” 

“I know.” He smiles over her shoulder. “Hey, Charlie.”

Alicia turns around. Charlie’s got his hands behind his back, he looks almost nervous and a tad tipsy. “Hey, you two. Having fun?”

“Yeah, but Alicia is desperate to dance.” Oliver grins.

Alicia scowls at him but Oliver just keeps grinning. “I am not.”

“Right.” Charlie clears his throat. “Well, I wouldn’t mind dancing though. Care to join me?” He holds out his hand. 

“Okay.” Alicia is sure her hand is sweaty but Charlie doesn’t say anything. He leads her to the dance floor. 

“I can’t really dance, so if we can just sway a little, that’d be much appreciated.” Charlie says and smiles sheepishly.

Alicia places her hands on his shoulders and he holds her by the waist gently. “That’s okay. I can’t really dance either unless I’m at least three shots of Tequila gone.”

“Urgh I remember that from New Year’s eve. That was vile.” He pulls a face.

“It’s not that bad. Better than firewhiskey.” She smiles. “It doesn’t make your ears smoke for starters.”

“Well, if it doesn’t make me feel like a dragon, then what’s the point?” 

Mr and Mrs Weasley dance past them and Alicia tries not to meet Mrs Weasley’s eyes. She doesn’t want her to think that she’s messing her son about. 

“Have you met Fleur’s cousins yet? They’re all very pretty.” 

Charlie snorts. “I’d be hard-pressed to find one now that Fred hasn’t snogged yet.”

Alicia pulls a face. “True. Fred spit. This really is reminding me of New Year’s eve more and more.”

“We’re only missing you breaking up with me, huh.” Charlie’s smiling but Alicia can feel embarrassment making her blush.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. I shouldn’t have said that.” He holds her a little bit more tightly. “Obviously we’re not quite ready to joke about it yet.”

“Mhm.” Alicia wills the song to finish. 

“So how’s it going with my replacement?” It only occurs to Alicia now that Charlie must be more than just a little bit drunk. Otherwise he’d never talk about any of this with her.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” She tilts her head at him when he nods. “Alright.” Alicia takes a deep breath. “It’s going well, all things considered. You know, with the whole being at war thing. Worrying that either of us is going to get killed. Not wanting to admit that we are in love because then it’ll just hurt even more when everything will eventually come crashing down around us. So yeah. All good.”

Charlie doesn’t say anything for a while. Alicia focuses on keeping her tears back. This has been the first time that she’s said out loud what she really feels for Adrian. To Charlie. Suddenly she feels really stupid. Why is she so scared of telling Adrian? He already knows so her saying it won’t change anything. It definitely won’t make it worse. She should tell him. Right now. She should go and see Adrian to tell him that she is in love with him. But Alicia never gets the chance to. Everything abruptly goes deadly silent when Shacklebolt’s lynx patronus appears in the middle of the dance floor.

“The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They're coming.” Shacklebolt’s voice booms. 

And they are. The wards shatter. Chaos and death enter the Burrow. Alicia has her wand in her hand instantly, Charlie not letting go of her for even one second whilst he throws spell after spell at the Death Eaters around them. Alicia shields them as best as she can. 

“We need to protect Harry!” Alicia tries to run towards where she’s last seen the ginger boy Harry is pretending to be but Charlie is pulling her to the exit of the tent.

“No, we need to get out.” 

“Your family-“

“They will be fine. Shacklebolt was clear that somebody would need to get you to a safe house.” A death eater appears in front of them and Charlie throws a Flipendo at him. “St Mungo’s is out of bounds for most of us now. We need you.”

“I can’t leave my friends behind.” Alicia pulls away from him, back towards the tent, but Charlie’s grip is like iron. 

“No.” He turns towards her. “I’m sorry.” He digs out a blue ribbon from the pocket of his robes. Charlie wraps it around her wrist and taps it with his wand before Alicia can rip it off again. 

“Charlie-“ She says and then the pull of the portkey takes her away.

~||~

Alicia paces the living room of the small safe house in Whitby. It’s well into the small hours of the night now but she can’t sleep. When she arrived via the portkey her first instinct was to apparate straight back. But responsibility won out and she’s busied herself setting up the first aid station. For a while nothing happened but then members of the Order trickled in. She healed Lupin’s head wound, Hestia Jones’ broken arm and Angelina’s twisted ankle. The twins arrived a couple of hours later to make sure she was okay and to tell her that Harry, Ron and Hermione had been able to get away. Fleur dropped off one of her cousins who had been hit by the dark matter spell. Luckily it was only on her thigh and Alicia managed to get rid of it and send her back to her family. 

But now everyone is gone again and Alicia is too agitated to sleep. She knows she should rest. And yet she can’t. Nobody who’d dropped in had been able to tell her exactly whether everyone was okay. Nobody knew what is going to happen next. Adrian hasn’t replied to her protean coin message. She desperately wants to send him a patronus but can’t risk it as he very likely is with Death Eaters. 

Alicia forces herself to take a deep breath. She reorganises the potions in the first aid box to give her hands something to do. Then she starts sorting the cans of soup in the kitchen cupboard alphabetically. She is counting the cutlery when the wards alert her that somebody has just crossed into the anti-apparition circle around the safe house. Everyone else had been using their portkeys to come in so whoever had just arrived isn’t injured. Or they could be a Death Eater. Alicia holds onto her wand tightly and walks towards the front door. She casts a Protego. The door knob rattles once, twice. Then she can hear Tonks swear and cast a soft Alohomora. Alicia drops the shield charm.

“Are you okay?” Alicia pretty much falls into the older witch’s arms. 

Tonks squeezes her gently. “Yes. Everyone is fine. The Death Eaters pretended to be aurors and only just finished interrogating everyone on Harry’s whereabouts. We are all a bit shaken up but apart from the ones you’ve already healed, nobody is injured.” 

Alicia breathes a sigh of relief. “I hate being here and not knowing what’s going on.”

“I know. I can’t believe Kingsley didn’t tell you.”

“He probably knew I’d have refused.” Alicia leads Tonks into the kitchen and starts preparing some tea. “But I suppose that’s my role, isn’t it? Hiding away in safe houses while others risk their lives.”

“Don’t be stupid, Alicia. We need you. You healing us is just as important as fighting.” Tonks sits down at the small kitchen table. “I’m sorry for having a go at you for dating Adrian Pucey. It’s none of my business. And he quite obviously isn’t one of them. You would never be with someone who has any part in that.”

Alicia tries to keep her hands steady. “It’s alright. Can you…could you maybe not tell anyone?”

“Sure.” Tonks clears her throat, she looks a little flustered. “I keep your secret and you keep mine?”

Alicia raises an eyebrow. “Yours?”

Tonks blushes. “Mhm.”

“And what would that be?” Alicia removes the tea bags and adds milk and sugar. She hands Tonks her cup and then sits down across from her. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

Alicia’s eyes widen. “What?”

“I’m pregnant. It’s very early. Like super super early. But I needed to tell someone. Remus doesn’t even know yet, I’m a bit worried what he’ll say.” Tonks sips on her tea but then pulls a face when she’s burned her lips. “Ouch. Well.”

“Erm congratulations?” Alicia isn’t quite sure what to say. On the one hand she’s happy for her friend but there’s a war going on. It seems a little reckless to want to bring a baby into the world but then again, who is she to judge somebody else’s stupid decision? 

“Thank you.” Tonks looks a little sheepish, she’s obviously picked up on Alicia’s concerns. “I’m sorry to unload that on you. But I am going to need your help.”

Alicia feels dread settle in her stomach. “You won’t be able to go to St Mungo’s.”

“No.” Tonks clears her throat. “Alicia, have you delivered a baby before?”


	12. Chapter 12

It’s been more than a month since the fall of the Ministry and Alicia has only been back to her flat once a week ago. She’d picked up Archibald and then dropped him off at Adrian’s with the words ‘He hates everyone else and I can’t go back to my flat anymore.’ Adrian hadn’t minded and promised to look after him. Alicia had scolded him for making a promise but Adrian assured her that he’d be able to keep that one. And then they didn’t say anything else because every minute they’d talk was a minute they weren’t able to kiss each other, to feel their bodies join in that delicious way that made both of them feel complete. 

All too often one of their brief meetings had to end abruptly when Alicia was called to one of the safe houses. They’ve met up fifteen times since the fall of the Ministry and Alicia still hasn’t told Adrian that she loves him. And every time she leaves she promises herself that she’ll say it next time. A promise she breaks over and over again.

When Alicia isn’t busy travelling between the safe houses and the Burrow, she reads books on pregnancy. There’s a number of them hidden away in the Burrow and Alicia spells the covers to read something else as to not arouse suspicion. It’s the second week of September when Lee goes into hiding.

Alicia is reading a book on prenatal care when Fred and Lee burst into the living room at the Burrow.

“There’s not enough space at Bill’s. I’m sure she’s not that bad.” Lee plonks himself down on the sofa next to Alicia. She quickly shuts the book and shoves it in the small space between herself and the arm rest. 

“She’s a menace.” Fred growls. “Can’t believe dad wants to put her place under the Fidelius.”

“Whose place?” Alicia moves a little so she’s covering the spine of the book. The spell is starting to wear off. 

“Aunt Muriel’s.” Fred glares at Lee. “Lee thinks it’ll be a better place to stay at than at Bill’s.”

Lee sighs. “Of course it is. It’s much larger.”

“What is going on?” Alicia pulls her legs onto the sofa.

“Muggleborn registration. It’s going to be in the Daily Prophet tomorrow.” Lee explains to her what he overheard in the offices of the newspaper.

“So they are going to round up all muggleborns?” 

Lee nods. “And I don’t think they’ll stop at just making us register. So I am going into hiding.” 

“But why at aunt Muriel’s?” Fred shakes his head. “Rubbish.”

“You are only annoyed because you know you’ll join me there sooner or later.” Lee grins despite it all. “You just can’t stay away from me.”

“Oh, shove off.” 

Lee turns to Alicia. “You should really go see your mum as soon as you can.”

“I went to see her yesterday. She still doesn’t want to leave. But maybe this will be enough of a reason for her now.” Alicia gets to her feet. She pulls out the book from its hiding place and quickly shrinks it before Lee or Fred can read the title. 

“You can’t go by yourself, Alicia.” Fred gets to his feet. “Do you want me to come with?” 

“No, it’s alright. I was going to drop by Tonks’ place first anyway so I’ll just ask her to come along.” 

“Is she feeling better?” Lee frowns up at her. “George said that she threw up all over Mrs Weasley’s flower bed the other day.”

Alicia worries her lip. Tonks should have told her she’s suffering from morning sickness. There are potions for that. “Probably just a stomach bug. If she’s not feeling better I’ll send a patronus.”

“Do.” Fred waves a finger at her. “Don’t be stupid about this, Spinnet. No more outings alone.”

“I know.”

Tonks is not feeling well so Alicia ends up visiting her mum alone. She’s still refusing to leave until Alicia bursts into tears. She promises to just take care of a few things but then leave by the end of the month. Alicia breathes a sigh of relief. She tells her mother that she loves her and that she’ll come over in a couple of weeks to help her move out of the house. Alicia casts another protective ward over her mum’s bungalow before she leaves. She never sees the dark figure watching her from across the road.

~||~

It’s sheer coincidence that Alicia is checking the first aid station at the safe house in Brighton at the same time that Lupin is there to reenforce the wards. So there’s nobody really to blame when she hears the patronus message Shacklebolt sends to her former teacher.

“Stay here, Alicia!” Lupin is holding her back tightly.

“Let go of me!” Shacklebolt’s words ring in her head. Death Eater attack in Margate. “Let me go!” Dark mark over her house. “I swear to god, Lupin, let me the fuck go!” Do not tell Spinnet.

She steps on Lupin’s foot with all the strength she’s got and he, more surprised than hurt, lets go of her. Alicia bolts through the front door and as soon as she’s past the anti-apparition wards she’s gone with a sharp crack.

Alicia’s a little off the mark, which is no surprise all things considered, and she appears a few houses down the road from where her mum’s bungalow is. The dark mark is still there. Alicia starts running. She can hear the crack of Lupin appearing somewhere behind her. But, for once in her life, Alicia is fast. So she’s at the door before he can catch up to her. She can hear voices in the house, but she pays them no mind. Alicia doesn’t care if there are still Death Eaters there, no, she almost wants them to be. She will not be too slow to cast this time.

But it’s Shacklebolt and some other auror who are in the living room. They are saying something to her but Alicia can’t make out what. All she can focus on is the small body of her mother on the floor. She’s face down, one arm underneath her, the other pointing away from her body at an awkward angle. She is holding the tattered blue portkey ribbon. Alicia can’t see where her wand is but she has the dreadful feeling that her mother never took it out from where she kept it in her bedside drawer. 

“Mum…” Alicia scares herself with the desperate noise that is coming out of her mouth. “Get up, mum.”

“Alicia.” Shacklebolt grabs her arm but Alicia shakes him off.

“We need to help her up. She’s fallen over.” Alicia takes another step towards the body on the floor. “She needs help getting up.” 

“Alicia, I’m so sorry.” He’s trying to hold her back again.

“No, no. There’s nothing to be sorry for. She’s just fallen over.” There’s a burning sensation behind her eyes and Alicia shakes her head to get rid of it. “I’ll just help her up.”

She kneels down next to her mother, touching her shoulder gently at first but then with more force. She shakes it once, twice. “Mum.” Alicia turns her over, there doesn’t seem to be any weight to her. “Mum.” Cold eyes are staring up at her. “You’ve fallen over, mum.”  
No reaction. “Why is she not answering?” A shrill voice asks. “Mum! Answer me. Mum!”

Strong hands pull her back from her mother’s dead body (because that’s what she is, isn’t she?) and embrace her tightly. They lift her up and take her away, out of the house, into the garden.

“I’m so sorry, Alicia.” Charlie says. “I am going to take you to the Burrow, okay?”

Alicia wants to say no. She wants to go back inside. She wants to go back inside and help her mother get back up. But she can’t say all of that because all she can hear is this horrible keening noise and Alicia will never be able to raise her voice enough to be heard.

“Shhh, Alicia.” Charlie whispers against her ear.

Why is he shushing her? She isn’t saying anything. Alicia wants to ask him but the noise is getting louder and louder until it suddenly gets cut off by the sharp crack of disapparition.

~||~

Alicia doesn’t leave the twins’ bedroom for two weeks. Mrs Weasley brings her food and watches her choke it down. She doesn’t force Alicia to wash but casts scourgify after scourgify on her body and clothes every single morning. Alicia doesn’t know where Fred stays but George presses his body tightly against hers every night and listens to her cry herself to sleep. During the day her friends come by to try and talk to her but Alicia never says a single word. She has a constant headache from crying and the skin around her eyes is sore. The coin in her pocket is burning up but Alicia doesn’t want to look at it. 

Exactly a fortnight after her mum’s death Tonks shows up. She is almost eight weeks along now and Alicia can tell by the glow on her face that she’s not suffering from morning sickness anymore.

“I’m so sorry, Alicia.” Tonks hugs her tightly, tears falling from her eyes and mixing with Alicia’s. “Your mum was kind and funny and so incredibly proud of you. She knew what a strong woman you’ve become and I need you to stay strong now, okay?”

Alicia doesn’t react. She’s heard variations of the same words from all her friends before. 

“You cannot give up on us now, Alicia.” Tonks pulls her to her feet. “We need you. I need you. My baby needs you.” 

Alicia wants to get back into bed but Tonks is relentless. She doesn’t let go of Alicia but drags her out of the bedroom instead. Alicia wants to fight back, wants to get out of the other woman’s grip but she just does not have the strength.

“I’m sorry for this, but you’ll need to get through this now.” Tonks has taken her to the bathroom. She pulls Alicia’s jeans down, drags her jumper over her head. “You will never forgive yourself if you miss it.” Tonks unclasps her bra and takes off Alicia’s knickers. She gently guides Alicia into the bath tub which she must have filled before coming to get Alicia from the twins’ bedroom. “It’s her funeral today, Alicia.” She untangles her hair and gently pours hot water over Alicia’s head. Tonks massages shampoo into her scalp and then uses a sponge to scrub every inch of Alicia’s body. She rinses the shampoo out of her hair. “Let’s get you dressed, okay?”

Alicia looks at her friend. “It’s my fault she’s dead.” Her voice is raspy and her words are followed by a dry cough.

“No, no, no.” Tonks cups Alicia’s face with her hands. “Do not start this. Do not blame yourself. Your mother was a grown woman. She knew the dangers of staying. Do not take on this responsibility. That’s the last thing she’d want.”

Alicia can feel the tears coming again. “She wanted to leave. If she’d just…”

Tonks pulls her out of the tub and gives her a tight hug, not caring about getting her own clothes wet. “I know. I am very sorry, Alicia. But you cannot play the what if game now, you’ll just drive yourself mad. And we need you to be strong. The best way to honour your mother’s memory is to keep fighting. To fight for a world where muggleborn witches and wizards do not need to fear for their lives, okay?”

Alicia nods even though she doesn’t completely agree. She still thinks that her mother would be alive if Alicia had made different choices, if she’d been more adamant in her demands for her to leave. But Tonks is also right. Alicia can’t give up now. However much she’s hurting, others will hurt even more if she is not capable of healing them. So Alicia nods and lets Tonks help her get dressed for her mother’s funeral.

~||~

After the funeral Alicia hides herself away in the bathroom at the Burrow. She needs a moment to breathe. The Weasleys and Tonks won’t leave her side, worried that she will fall back into the depression she’d been under for the past two weeks. Alicia stretches her legs out in front of her. Everyone’s downstairs having dinner. She only managed to get away under the pretence of having to use the loo. She knows she’s only got so much time before Tonks or George will come to check on her. Alicia pulls the protean charm coin out of her pocket. Where are you? 

“Bimbly.” Alicia calls softly and waits. For a moment nothing happens but then the house elf appears.

“Miss Alicia! Master Adrian and me have been so worried about you. Don’t know where you are, not reacting to the coin…Master Adrian has been trying to send a patronus but he is too unhappy for it to work.” Bimbly looks a perfect mix of relieved and cross. 

“Can you take me to him? For just a moment?” 

Bimbly nods eagerly and holds out his hand. She grabs it and they’re gone with a crack.

“Alicia!” Adrian is on her the moment she’s stopped spinning. “Oh Merlin, I was so worried. What is going on? Where were you?”

Alicia can’t help it, she’s tearing up again. “My…”

“What is it?” Adrian gently cups her face, just like Tonks did earlier today. “What’s the matter?”

“They killed my mother.” Alicia finally manages to get out. 

Adrian drops his hands from her face. “No.” He shakes his head. “They can’t have. They promised.”

“What?” Alicia wipes at her face. Her headache is coming back with a vengeance. 

“You and your mother were meant to be safe.” He frowns. “They promised.”

“Adrian, what do you mean?” Exhaustion is pushing in on her but Alicia forces it away. “Adrian.”

“I…” He looks conflicted. “Promise to listen to me. Until I’ve finished. Promise, Alicia.”  
Alicia nods. “No, say it. Promise you will stay and listen until I’ve explained it all.”

“I promise.” Her voice is shaky. “I promise to stay.”

Adrian pulls her onto the floor with him, they’re opposite each other and he’s holding on tightly to her hands. “Last summer…when you were at Amelia Bones’ house. I thought nobody knew that you’d been there, that I’d hidden you away. But… Alicia, have you ever heard of the Lestrange brothers? Rudolphus and Rabastan?” Alicia nods. Everyone knows them. “Right. Well, they…The Lestrange brothers are both Legilimens. They walk around and they…they just read minds. Everyone’s mind. They don’t bother to actually talk to you, they just force themselves into your brain and tell you what to do. They weren’t at Bones’ house that night but as soon as we got back…Rabastan, he took one look at me and he knew. I’m not good at keeping my thoughts hidden at the best of times but that night… You were just so present in my head that he knew straight away. He wanted me to go back and kill you.” He looks a little wild now and Alicia wants to move away from him but he’s clinging on to her hands so tightly that she can’t move even an inch. “He said that if I wouldn’t then he would go. So I said that it’d be stupid to kill you. I said that I could use this. I could use saving you, that I knew you from school and that I could get you to trust me.”

Alicia feels ice cold. Adrian’s words of I am making you useful ring in her head.

“I told him that you are close to the Weasleys, that you are bound to be a member of the Order of the Phoenix. I told him that keeping you alive would be an advantage.” Alicia didn’t think that he could hold on to her any more and yet he tightens his grip as if he knew she’s close to bolting. “Eventually I was able to convince him.”

“So you came to my flat.” 

Adrian nods. “I needed to find out whether you really were in the Order. And then Lupin’s patronus showed up and confirmed it for me.”

“You told them.” Alicia wants to throw up.

“I had to. I had to make them think that you were valuable to us. As long as I could provide them with information you were safe. I did it to protect you.” 

“And I couldn’t shut up around you.” Alicia thinks back to that one time when they were watching Come dine with me. How she couldn’t seem to stop talking that day. 

“I…That first time I used Veritaserum. I made that cup of tea and…I’m sorry, Alicia.” 

“The wards. The werewolves. Knockturn Alley. The fake safe houses.” Alicia remembers the conversation with her friends after Dumbledore’s funeral. “It was you. Not Snape.” 

“I’m sorry. But I did it to-“

“No! People died because of that.” Alicia finally manages to free her hands from his grip. “You used me. You used me all this time.” 

“I didn’t!” His voice is desperate. “I did it to protect you. I said I’d do anything to keep you safe.”

Alicia somehow manages to stumble to her feet. “No. You did it to keep yourself alive. You even said to me that you’d hurt others if it meant you wouldn’t die. So by getting me to trust you, to lo…” She shakes her head. “You used the information you got from me to make yourself valuable to the Death Eaters.”

“Alicia…” He takes a step towards her but Alicia raises her wand. 

“Not one step closer.” Her hand is shaking.

“All I did was in order to protect you.”

“You are lying.” She’s crying now, even though she thought she didn’t have any tears left after her mother’s funeral. “You don’t care about me. You just saw me as a stupid girl who’d tell you all of the Order’s secrets so you could become invaluable.”

“Alicia, that’s not true. Please.” He takes a step but Alicia flicks her wand and he raises his hands to calm her. “All I did was to keep you safe. Because I lov-“

“Don’t you dare!” She cuts him off. “Don’t you dare say that. You have lied to me enough.”

“It’s the truth!” He slowly takes out his wand. “Please. Let me show you.” 

“Bimbly!” Alicia calls desperately. She needs to get out. Adrian raises his wand. Bimbly appears by her side. She grabs the elf’s hand. “Get me back.”

“Expecto Patronum!” Adrian bellows and Alicia shuts her eyes before she can see what form his patronus takes. 

“Get me out!” Alicia shouts and miraculously the house elf follows her order. They’re gone with a sharp crack.

~||~

Alicia shuts herself in the twins’ bedroom again. She doesn’t talk but whenever she is called to one of the safe houses to heal somebody she goes. She continues reading books about midwifery. Now that Tonks has told everyone Alicia doesn’t have to keep it a secret anymore and Mrs Weasley moves all her old pregnancy books to the twins’ bedroom. Her friends visit her but they don’t force her to talk. Tonks comes round and Alicia casts the necessary diagnostic charms to check in with her and the baby. That’s the only time Alicia talks, so she can tell Tonks that the baby is well. 

George still sleeps in bed with her but this time he doesn’t have to listen to her crying herself to sleep. Alicia doesn’t have any tears left. 

By the end of October Death Eaters pretending to be aurors start poking around the Burrow and Mrs Weasley decides to move Alicia to aunt Muriel’s place. Alicia can’t sleep without George next to her. She goes four days without sleep until Charlie shows up.

“You look like shit, Spinnet.” He puts his bag down. “Mum send me to look after you. She’s worried. We all are.”

Alicia just stares at him. 

“You are going to have to start talking again.” Charlie flicks his wand to boil some water. “George wanted to come but he’s staying in the flat above the shop now with Fred and Angelina. There’ve been break ins. Mum doesn’t want them to but they don’t want to lose their shop.” He gets two mugs out of the cupboard and drops a teabag into each of them. “He told me that he’s been sharing a bed with you. Is that why you don’t sleep? Because you’re alone?”

She nods. Alicia had briefly considered staying with Lee but Katie’s here too and she feels a little strange sharing a bed with a couple. 

“Alright.” He takes the teabags out again. Charlie doesn’t add enough milk and forgets about the sugar altogether. “Drink this.”

Alicia takes the cup of tea. It’s hot in her hands. Charlie watches her and so she blows on it and then takes a tentative sip. It’s a horrible cup of tea but she drinks it anyway.

“Feel better?” He asks and Alicia nods even though she doesn’t. “Good. Come on then.” 

Charlie walks into the hallway and after peeking into a few rooms he finds the one Alicia stays in because it’s got several books about healing littering the floor. Alicia follows him into her room. She watches him get out of his jeans and take off his jumper until he’s only wearing an old Chudley Cannons t-shirt and a pair of boxer briefs. He climbs into her bed and then holds the duvet up for her. 

“I know I’m not George but you need to sleep.” Alicia worries her lip. “I am not going to do anything you don’t want, Alicia. How long have you been awake?”

Alicia looks down. Then she holds up four fingers.

“Merlin. How are you going to heal someone if you can’t keep your eyes open? How are you going to make sure you don’t do any more damage if you’re too exhausted to think straight?” 

Alicia undoes the buttons of her jeans. She steps out of them and walks over to the chest of drawers. There are some pyjama bottoms and she pulls them on. She doesn’t bother changing her t-shirt. When she turns back to her bed, Charlie is looking away from her. She appreciates the privacy. 

“Done.” She croaks so quietly that she almost doesn’t hear it herself but Charlie must have as he’s facing her again. 

“Alright. Let’s sleep then.” 

It’s just gone midday but Alicia crawls into bed. Charlie doesn’t move but when Alicia arranges her body against his just like she used to with George, he wraps an arm around her. At first Alicia thinks she won’t be able to sleep because the real reason why she was able to with George next to her was of how his body felt like Adrian’s. But she can’t think about Adrian anymore, she needs to push that thought away before she breaks. So she moves even closer to Charlie. Charlie who is broader and who doesn’t have any of the sharp edges that Ad-no, she needs to push that thought further down. 

And as she’s pushing it down and down and down, she presses her body tighter and tighter against Charlie’s. And Charlie holds her and whispers into her ear that’ll be okay, that she just needs to sleep, that she needs to rest so she can help. And eventually she does. Her breath slows and Alicia falls asleep with her head buried against Charlie’s chest and her arms around his neck. 

She sleeps for almost twenty-four hours, only waking a couple of times when Charlie nips away to use the loo. But as soon as he’s wrapped around her again, she goes back to sleep. When she finally wakes up properly it’s midday again and the sun is shining. It’s a beautiful autumn day.

“Morning.” Charlie grumbles and yawns. “I don’t think I’ve slept this much since I was a toddler.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice is raspy not only from only just waking up but also because she’s not used it for so long.

“Don’t. Stop apologising, Spinnet.” He sits up and stretches. “Right. I’m starving. Are you hungry?”

Alicia frowns. “Yeah. I think so.” She’s neglected her body for so long that it doesn’t trust her enough to give her clear signals anymore. She feels still sad and numb and hopeless but also hungry. Probably hungry.

Charlie smiles at her. “Excellent.”

They go and have breakfast. Alicia eats without choking on the food. And when Lee and Katie join them Alicia finds that she can talk to them without choking on the words either. So Alicia thinks that maybe she can do this. She can feel sad and numb and hopeless but she can still eat, she can still talk. She may feel dead inside but that doesn’t mean she has to let her friends and the Order down. 

~||~

Halfway through November the rest of the Weasley’s move into aunt Muriel’s house. The first night after his family moved in Charlie’d stayed in his own room until Alicia crawled into his bed in the middle of the night. Alicia’s not sure why she didn’t just ask George to stay with her again but she decides not to think too much about it. 

After that Charlie goes back to sleeping in her bed. They try not to be too obvious about it but it’s clear by the way Mrs Weasley looks at her that she knows. And Alicia told George because he asked her whether she wants him to stay with her again and she didn’t want to lie. So of course Fred knows as well which means that Lee knows which means that Katie knows, although the latter two probably knew all along. Aunt Muriel doesn’t really care about any of them and stays in her rooms for most of the time. And Mr Weasley is just happy that everyone’s safe.

It’s the end of November when George shatters whatever’s left of Alicia’s heart. 

“I was right, it was Adrian Pucey, wasn’t it?” He says whilst he watches Alicia clean up the first aid station at the safe house near Dover. Alicia’d been called to heal several muggleborn witches and wizards who’d had a run in with snatchers. They were gone again now, having taken the ferry to Calais to stay with some French families who are supporting the Order.

Alicia doesn’t see the point in lying anymore so she just nods. 

“I’m sorry.” He passes her some replacement potions from her satchel. “I saw him, you know. Just before we went into hiding. He was walking along Diagon Alley with one of the Lestrange brothers. I think it was the younger one, Rabastan? They looked really chummy.” George frowns. “I’m really sorry, Alicia, but I’m pretty sure he’s a Death Eater now.”

She’s struggles to listen, to take in what George is saying. All she can think about is Adrian telling her how Rabastan Lestrange had wanted her dead. How Adrian had sounded like he hated him. And now George is telling her that they were walking down Diagon Alley, cracking jokes with each other. How stupid she is for holding on to that last bit of hope that maybe Adrian didn’t just use her, that he really did want to protect her. And suddenly she can’t bear feeling this sad and numb and hopeless anymore.

~||~

Charlie is already in her room when she gets back. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed and flicking through a book on how to treat wounds inflicted by magical creatures that Alicia has been meaning to read for weeks now. He looks up when Alicia lets the door fall shut.

“Everything okay?” There’s a frown on his face.

Alicia nervously pulls on the hem of her jumper. “I’m sick of feeling nothing.” His frown deepens but he doesn’t say anything. “I just want to…Charlie, you are my friend, yes?” 

He nods. “Of course I am.”

“Will you…” She takes a deep breath and hates herself for asking this of him. Hates herself for wanting this in the first place but if she doesn’t replace this feeling of numbness she will shatter. Alicia needs to feel something. 

“Will I what?” 

When she undresses he opens his mouth but no words come out. When she pulls his t-shirt over his head he doesn’t stop her. Only when she brushes her lips against his does he pull back.

“Alicia…I don’t know whether this is a good idea.” 

She wraps her arms around her bare upper body. Alicia knows that if he rejects her now, she will break into a million pieces with no chance of ever being whole again. “Please, Charlie. I need to feel something.” Alicia swallows down the lump in her throat. “I need to feel something else than just dead inside.”

He looks at her for a long time. Only when his eyes briefly flicker down her naked body is Alicia sure that he will do it. When she sees just the smallest glimmer of want in his eyes, she leans forward again to press her lips against his. And Charlie kisses her back. There’s no flutter in her stomach, no heat in her groin, so she kisses him harder. She pushes him back onto the bed, straddling him. He tries to soften their kiss but Alicia won’t let him. She’s bend on getting her body to respond, to react to Alicia finally providing it with something other than sadness and despair. 

“Alicia…” Charlie says against her lips and holds her waist gently. “Slow down.”

Alicia does the opposite of slowing down and lifts her lower body so she can pull down Charlie’s jeans. She unbuttons and unzips them and then awkwardly manages to pull them halfway down his thighs. When she leans back down to kiss Charlie, the button of his jeans digs into her, the zipper catches onto the soft part of her inner thigh and Alicia finally feels something. She flinches but Charlie misunderstands and lifts up her bum so he can shrug out of his jeans. He then proceeds to turn them around so he’s hovering above her, taking back control and being able to set the pace. Alicia groans in frustration.   
Charlie ignores her and starts placing gentle kisses down her neck. But Alicia doesn’t want gentle because gentle is not enough to break through the numbness so she pulls his face towards her and his teeth accidentally scrape along the edge of her neck and her collarbone. It hurts a little but it also feels good so Alicia moans. 

“Merlin, Alicia.” He says and looks up at her, understanding in his eyes. “I…Are you sure you want it like that?”

“Yes. Please.” 

Charlie hesitates for a moment but then his teeth are on her neck, first nibbling then biting and then Alicia is moaning because she’s pretty sure he’s just drawn blood and the sharp pain of it is pushing away the emptiness inside of her. He strikes a path of pain and pleasure down her collarbone, not drawing blood again but sucking so hard in places that Alicia is certain it’ll bruise. Charlie drags his teeth over her stomach and when his hands force her legs apart, Alicia freezes for a moment. He halts, his eyes finding hers again.

“We can stop if you don’t want this. We can just go to sleep. I can leave.” He says but his eyes say something else. And Alicia doesn’t want him to stop, she doesn’t want to go to sleep and she definitely doesn’t want him to leave. She’s finally feeling something and so what if it’s pain and maybe a little fear because it’s also pleasure and the complete opposite to feeling numb.

“No.” She says breathlessly. “Don’t stop. I want this.”

He nods and then his head is between her thighs and he’s nibbling and sucking and biting and the pain is so sweet and so good and Alicia almost can’t take it. Charlie’s holding her thighs apart, his fingers digging into her skin, his tongue unrelenting against her soft core. He shifts and Alicia gasps when he pushes first one, then two fingers inside of her. There’s no gentleness, just continuous pushing in and out, only briefly stopping once to add a third finger. It’s just on the right side of too much and Alicia feels her orgasm build inside her. But then he stops and numbness takes the upper hand again.

“Charlie…” Alicia says, no, begs.

“Just a second.” His voice is huskier than she’s ever heard it. He’s fumbling about with something and then he’s fully naked. He doesn’t ask her again whether she’s sure just looks into her eyes until she nods. 

Charlie’s gentle at first but Alicia is insistent, her legs tightly wrapped around his hips, her nails scratching along his shoulders, urging him on. He groans and then he’s pounding into her, hitting a spot that makes Alicia thighs shiver and dig her nails even deeper into his back. She can feel her orgasm building again, already stimulated enough from his mouth and fingers before this. But it’s not quite enough and when she reaches down to help herself along, Charlie moves away a little to give her more space. 

“Merlin.” He breathes into her neck. 

Alicia can’t form words, she’s so close and everything feels so good, and great and amazing and- warm hazel eyes. Dark brown hair with specks of gold. A smile that she can’t get enough of. What on earth is she doing? Alicia wants to stop. She takes her hand away, but Charlie doesn’t notice. She wants to say something but then Charlie moans against her ear and she can feel him emptying inside of her. She’s lying completely still.

Charlie takes a deep breath and Alicia tries to shape her face into some semblance of a smile but he just takes one look at her before pulling away.

“Fuck.” He groans and stumbles over his feet to get out of the bed. “Fuck fuck fuck.”

Alicia tries to say something to reassure him but she can’t. The lump in her throat is back. She reaches up to brush away the hair from her face and her fingers come back wet. She doesn’t even know when she started crying. 

“I’m so sorry.” Charlie struggles to get his underwear on. “Fuck.” He grabs his jeans and t-shirt. “Fuck.” He says one more time before he’s gone.

Alicia still can’t move. The air feels bitterly cold against her naked body but she doesn’t have the strength to move under the covers. She doubts she’ll even have the strength to cast a cleaning charm. Her eyes widen. Charm. She forgot the bloody charm. They both did. 

“Fuck.” Her throat hurts but Alicia doesn’t pay any attention to that. She’s panicking now. With shaky legs she walks into her ensuite. She should pee. Peeing might help. Alicia sits down on the toilet and feels like an idiot. She’s a healer. She knows that peeing won’t do a bloody thing. Alicia buries her head in her hands. She forgot the stupid contraceptive charm. “Fuck.” 

Alicia washes her hands and looks up. The mirror doesn’t tell her anything she doesn’t already know. There are bite marks all the way down her neck. There’s a speck of dried blood on her collarbone. There’s the face of the stupid girl who thought that sleeping with somebody else would help her feel a little less numb. All it did was remind her that she’s still utterly and irrevocably in love with the Death Eater who played her. “Fuck.” And she forgot the bloody contraceptive charm. 

Although she knows that she won’t sleep, Alicia goes back to bed anyway. Somehow she manages to cast a cleaning charm on herself and the bed before crawling under the covers. There is no way she can stay here now. Alicia shuts her eyes and prays for sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Two hours later she’s sitting in the kitchen of Mrs Tonks’ house. The severe looking witch has put a cup of tea in her hands whilst Tonks is outside to send a patronus to Mrs Weasley. 

“You shouldn’t have left without telling anyone.” Tonks says when she comes back inside and sits down next to her mother. “I said that I needed you because I thought there’s something wrong with the baby.”

“Thank you.” Alicia’s voice sounds so small. 

Mrs Tonks regards Alicia intently. It’s eerie how much she resembles her older sister, Bellatrix. Alicia automatically touches the side of her neck, paranoid that she’s missed one of the marks that Charlie’s left on her. 

“So what is going on, Alicia?” Tonks sips on her own tea. 

Alicia doesn’t know how to start. “I…” The grandfather clock in the living room strikes midnight and they all flinch. 

“You should get rid of it, mum. Freaks me out every single time.” Tonks says and her mother just lifts a single eyebrow. 

“I will do no such thing, Nymphadora. It’s an heirloom from your father’s side of the family.” 

Alicia worries her lip. She knows that Ted Tonks went into hiding just the week before. 

“It’s still creepy.” Tonks rolls her eyes but there’s sadness in her expression. “So, Alicia. What happened?”

“I made a mistake.” Alicia feels embarrassed talking about it in front of Tonks’ mother but the older witch is making no move to leave them to it. “Charlie and I…” She can’t meet their eyes for the next bit. “I forgot the contraceptive charm.”

Tonks doesn’t say anything. Mrs Tonks doesn’t either she just gets up and leaves. 

“I just felt so sad. Charlie didn’t want to at first but I pleaded with him and…I thought it would help me forget but it just made me remember and now I feel like shit and he does too because he thinks it’s on him but that’s not true. I wanted it, Tonks, and it was a fucking awful thing to ask of him and I’ve ruined everything. He will never be able to look at me again. I fucked it all up.” Alicia does not know where she gets all these tears from but there she is, crying again. Or still. Maybe she’s just never stopped crying since her mum had been killed.

“Oh, Alicia.” Tonks walks over to her side of the table and hugs her gently. “I am sure we can sort it out.” 

“Here.” Mrs Tonks has returned and she puts a small vial on the table in front of Alicia. “Drink.” 

Alicia doesn’t even ask what it is, because there’s only one thing that it can be so she uncorks the vial and pours it down her throat. It tastes vile and makes her gag but she drinks it all.

Tonks is still holding on to her and Alicia sniffles. Mrs Tonks watches them. “I can’t believe this is the witch I am entrusting with the delivery of my first grandchild.”

“Mum!” Tonks says breathlessly.

Alicia looks down. She feels so ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

“Look at me.” Mrs Tonks voice does not leave Alicia any choice. She faces her. “Do not feel sorry. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s how we go about correcting our mistakes that shows what kind of person we are. So you either stay here and hide like a little girl or you go back and right what you’ve done wrong.” Mrs Tonks crosses her arm. “Are you a Gryffindor or not?”

~||~

Alicia can see the light through the gap under the door to Charlie’s room. She knocks softly. 

“Yeah?” He sounds exhausted.

She quietly opens the door and walks into his room. Charlie doesn’t look surprised to see her. 

“Hey.” Alicia crosses her arms in front of her, she can’t help but feel vulnerable. His eyes go straight to her neck and she knows he’s looking for bruises. She’s glad she spelled them away, she wouldn’t be able to watch his face fall if he’d seen them. “Can we talk?”

“Alright.” Charlie leans back on his elbows. He’s sitting on the bed. Alicia decides to remain standing up.

“Thank you.” She takes a deep breath. “I want to say that I am sorry. I asked something of you that I shouldn’t have. I felt sad and numb and thought that maybe having…I just thought it would make me feel better. It did for a little while but it was just such a bad idea because it made me think of…Anyway. It was an extremely selfish thing to do and it makes me a horrible person.” Charlie opens his mouth but she just shakes her head. “I’m not finished yet. I am. I took complete advantage of you. So this is on me. All of it. I do not want you to feel bad or sorry or like you’ve hurt me. Because you didn’t. I hurt you.” She takes another deep breath. “So I understand if you never want to talk to me again and I also understand if you want me to leave. I have already spoken to Tonks. She said it’d be okay for me to stay with her and her mother. Although her mum’s super intimidating. But I can stay with them.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” He sighs. “It was a terrible idea but I didn’t exactly try very hard to stop you.”

“Because you were putting me first.” 

“I suppose so.” Charlie leans forward. “I’d say we forget about it but that won’t happen anytime soon, will it.” He smiles weakly. “Are you okay?”

Alicia shrugs. “I will be. Mrs Tonks talked some sense into me. Are you okay?”

He nods. “I’m okay now that you’ve come back. I thought you’ll just avoid me forever.”

“Not going to lie, that was my plan. But, well, Mrs Tonks reminded me that I’m not a little girl but a Gryffindor.” 

“I’m glad she did.” Charlie clears his throat. “I…There’s some spells and we didn’t…”

“It’s okay.” She cuts him off. “I’ve taken care of that.”

He looks relieved. “Merlin. We are all a little fucked up, aren’t we?”

“A little?” Alicia snorts. “I’m a complete and utter mess.”

“Not a complete…well, maybe.” Charlie smirks. “But it’s not like you don’t have enough reasons to be.”

“Mhm.”

“Well, this is awkward.” Charlie clears his throat. “And as it already is, there’s probably no further harm me asking this. Are you still seeing that guy? That one that made you reevaluate your feelings for me?”  
Alicia doesn’t want to talk about Adrian because it’s tearing her apart but considering how shitty she’s treated Charlie, an answer is the least she owes him. “No. He…No.”

“Right.” He regards her for a moment, as if judging how far he can take his questioning. “Alicia, did he hurt you? I mean…” Another uncomfortable clearing of the throat. “The way you…you wanted this…is that how he…” 

Alicia shakes her head furiously. “No. Not at all. I…The way…Jesus, Charlie, this is so awkward.” She laughs nervously, it comes out a little shrill and Charlie pulls a face. “I just wanted to feel something.” The last word leaves her body like a breath and Alicia deflates. 

“Right. Just…I’m glad he didn’t…” Charlie shrugs. “And it’s now how I usually…” Another shrug. 

She can feel herself go bright red. “Sure.” 

There’s an awkward silence but it’s still less awkward than their conversation so neither says anything for a while. Alicia really wants to leave but doesn’t want to look like she’s running away (again) so she decides to stick it out even though Charlie must want her to go. 

“Do you want to…?” He asks and lightly nods at the space next to him on the bed.

“Oh, god no.” Alicia says way too panicky and pulls a face when Charlie flinches like she’s slapped him. “Maybe…Not tonight. I am going to stay with the twins.” He nods and for whatever reason Alicia nods back before she walks out of his bedroom.

~||~

There weren’t any bedrooms left by the time the twins had moved out from the flat above the shop so they have taken one of the living rooms for themselves. George isn’t there but Fred is sitting cross-legged on the pull-out sofa. 

“Alright, Spinnet?” He scoots over and Alicia sits down across from him. She pulls her legs up and rests her chin on her knees. 

“Mhm.” It’s not like she doesn’t get on with Fred, she loves him really, but they never really talk about feelings or anything like that. And she will definitely not talk about sleeping with his brother. 

“Everyone’s too scared to ask because they are worried about hurting your feelings, but are you and Charlie a thing again now?” Fred leans back on his elbows. “Sorry.”

So much for getting out of discussing her and Charlie. “Don’t apologise. We’re not. I…I struggled with sleeping after…you know. And when Charlie got here I hadn’t slept for a while because I really needed George so…it just helped with sleeping.”

Fred frowns. “You needed George?”

“Not like that. Just sleeping.” 

“Right. That’s fair, I suppose.” He bops his foot against hers. “Now I’m just wondering why you are here. Charlie’s around, isn’t he?”

“He is.” Alicia sighs. 

“But you don’t want to sleep in a bed with him tonight because…?” 

Oh, sod it. “Because we…you know. But it was a mistake. I just felt really bad and thought…It was stupid.”

“Knew it. George owes me ten galleons.” He ducks when Alicia throws one of the many cushions at his head. 

“I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t tell George. He was so annoyed with me when things didn’t work out with Charlie. And I don’t want him thinking I’m messing Charlie around or anything like that.” George really would be annoyed with her. 

“Mhm. I’d be more worried about Charlie telling him. They talk about everything.” Fred looks a little put out by that. “It’s good, I suppose. For George to have someone else as well. Just in case.”

Alicia grabs another cushion but instead of throwing it at Fred, she presses it against herself. She knows exactly what Fred means. “You don’t think we will all make it.” She doesn’t even bother phrasing it as a question.

“I’m surprised we’ve made it this far. Everyone who’s died…They were all so much more experienced than us. Bones, Vance, Moody.” Fred gives her shrug. “Dumbledore.”

“Well they’ve been dealing with more dangerous situations.”

“Have they though? You were in the house with Amelia Bones. Lee and George were there when the prime minister got attacked and Emmeline was killed. Most of us were there for picking Harry up. And you were part of the diversion.” He takes the cushion off her and gestures for Alicia to shuffle up. She does. Fred lies back and Alicia nestles into the crook of Fred’s arm. “Harry was there when Dumbledore got killed. Everyone who was in the Astronomy tower that night.”

“I’m scared, Fred.” She says into the side of his chest. “Not about the fighting. There’s got to be some kind of fight at some point, that’s obvious. I’m scared about what is going to happen after. I have every faith that Harry will come through. But what is going to happen when it’s all done? When it’s all done and not all of us have made it? How are we meant to go on?” 

“I don’t know, Al. How do you go on? You’ve lost…Even thinking about losing mum…” 

“That’s why I’m scared. I just…I just fell apart. But I had you guys to put me back together again. To hold on to. Because you could. You weren’t grieving. But after…if we all lose someone-or lots of someones- who are important to us, how can we help each other? If we’re all falling apart, who’s going to put us back together?”

They both think about that for a while. Fred sighs deeply, the expanding of his chest pushing his upper body more towards Alicia’s face. He smells a little like gun powder. Fred always smells like he’s just blown something up. It shouldn’t be a comforting smell but it is. Alicia can feel her bones growing heavy, she’s exhausted. 

“We’ll just have to hope that there’ll be enough of us left that need putting back together. At least Georgie’s got Angelina now. Took them long enough.” 

“Is he with her now?” Alicia doesn’t say that he’s kind of the reason why it took them so long, he probably knows that already. Fred nods against the top of her head. “That’s good.”

“Do you want to stay here? I know I’m not Charlie but I’m basically George so…” 

Alicia considers that for a moment. He does feel like George, even if they smell completely different. And she’s half-asleep already anyway. “Please.”

“Alright, Spinnet.” He pulls the cover over them. “But no funny business, I reckon you’ve had enough Weasleys for today.”

She can’t help but smile. “You are such a wanker.”

They fall asleep like that, both with smiles on their faces. 

~||~

Alicia only realises that it’s almost Christmas when Ginny comes home for the holidays. Nobody was in the mood for putting up decorations but Ginny is, so Mrs Weasley sends her and the youngest Weasley up to the attic to look through aunt Muriel’s piles and piles of stuff for some tinsel and holly. 

“So where do you sleep then?” Ginny asks, her hands dusty and half-buried in a wooden chest. 

Ginny’s moved into her room but Alicia hasn’t slept there for ages. She briefly thinks about just telling her that she’s going through safe houses, but Ginny’s too smart to believe the lie. “Usually in the twins’ room.”

“Right.” Ginny pulls out a crusty looking robe. She pulls a face. “And when you don’t?”

Alicia shuts the drawer she’s been riffling through. “Charlie.” She opens the next one. It’s filled with cutlery and the odd piece of jewellery. “We’re driving your mum mad. With Lee and Katie sharing and George disappearing all the time to stay with Angelina.”

“I think she’s just happy that everyone’s got somebody.” Ginny gives up on the wooden chest and its crusty robes and pushes it away from her. “I worry…well Harry hasn’t got that.”

“Of course he does. He’s got Hermione and your brother.” Alicia finds a bauble and puts it in the pitiful pile of decorations they’ve got so far. 

“Not really. Hermione and Ron have each other.” 

“Ginny, they are friends. Very close friends. They wouldn’t exclude him.” There’s another bauble but it’s broke. Alicia attempts a Reparo but there are still pieces missing when the spell is done. She puts it back down.

“Of course not. But there’s a difference between having a friend and having a…well…a partner.” Ginny’s blushing a little and it clashes with her hair. 

“I’m not staying in Fred’s room because we’re dating. Because we aren’t. You do know that, right?” 

Ginny pulls out something that looks like a feather boa from the storage box in front of her. “I know you and Fred aren’t dating. But I don’t believe for one second that you and Charlie are just friends.”

“We are.” Alicia walks over to Ginny and takes the feather boa out of her hands. “Slightly more complicated but same answer.” She waves her wand over the boa and focuses for a moment. “We are just friends.” The feathers fold in to each other and when they emerge again they’re sparkly and, at least somewhat, resembling tinsel. 

Ginny takes the tinsel when Alicia offers it to her. She runs it through her hands. “Okay.”  
Ginny adds it to their pile. “It’s none of my business anyway.” There’s a weak smile on her lips. “I just thought it’d get a little easier. When you’re older. This whole relationship business.”

“Sorry, Ginny. If anything it gets more difficult.” Alicia turns back to the chest of drawers. “There’s just so many things to consider once you leave the bubble that’s Hogwarts.”

“Or if one of you is fighting an evil bastard.” Ginny pulls out another feather boa and puts it to one side. “Have you ever been in a proper relationship?”

“Kind of.” Alicia takes a spoon from the drawer. She turns to face Ginny. “Do you think I can transfigure this into a bauble?” Adrian’s good at transfiguration, her brain provides unhelpfully. 

Ginny scrunches her face. “Try it.” There are no more feather boas so Ginny shuts the storage box. “So you kind of were in a relationship? With Charlie?”

Alicia shakes her head. “We didn’t get that far.” She places the spoon on top of the drawer. “Charlie was the one I fancied for so long and I got a little confused with what my feelings were.”

“So who were you in a kind of relationship with then?” Ginny opens the wardrobe next to the chest-of-drawers Alicia is rifling through.

“Somebody else.” Alicia isn’t sure whether Ginny knows who Adrian is. She probably does. She did follow Quidditch at Hogwarts. “But that didn’t work out.”

“Why?” She sneezes. 

“Because…” Alicia stops. Because he used her to save himself? Because he only pretended to like her? Because he is a Death Eater and hurting the people Alicia is meant to protect? “Because I was wrong to trust him.” She settles on.

“Did you really like him?”  
“I did.” Alicia shuts the drawer. “I do.” 

Ginny steps away from the wardrobe and tentatively grabs Alicia’s hand. “So you still want to be with him?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want.” 

Ginny huffs. “Of course it does. You know how much I regret not telling Harry sooner that I liked him? I wasted a lot of time last year dating other people because I thought he’d get it. So if you still want to be with him then tell him.” She squeezes Alicia’s hand. “Just talk to him. Tell him that whatever he did to break your trust was shit. But don’t just throw it away. Things at Hogwarts…They’re rubbish. Just like they are here. So if you have the chance to have someone-someone who isn’t just a friend- then don’t give up on that.”

~||~

Christmas and New Years Eve are -to nobody’s surprise- a shit show and Alicia is glad she can fully immerse herself in a new task after the holidays. Shacklebolt has got her, Oliver and Angelina turning ribbons into portkeys. They have red ribbons for portkeys to St Mungo’s and blue ribbons for portkeys to their various safe houses. Making portkeys is not too difficult, but they can’t really test them so all they can do is enchant the ribbons and hope for the best. The twins and Lee are in the room with them, broadcasting the latest episode of Potterwatch. 

Alicia isn’t really listening though, she’s thinking about Ginny’s words and the protean charmed 2 pound coin in her pocket. She should have thrown it away really, but just never could get herself to do it, so the coin had been hidden away in her first aid satchel. The words ‘Please talk to me’ are still engraved on it as they have been since September. When Adrian had told her that the only reason why he’d been relaying information about the Order had been to keep Alicia safe, she hadn’t wanted to believe him. She was so sure it was because it made him more useful, more valuable to the Death Eaters. But if she’s really honest with herself, then it’s also got a lot to with how guilty she’d felt that her safety had gotten others hurt or even killed. 

And she’d been absolutely devastated by the death of her mother. She still is. Her mother had been her only family, her only connection to her roots. And that’s gone now. Her mother’s death had uprooted Alicia and she’s been untethered ever since. Nobody’s ever taught her how to grieve, she’d been too young to understand when her dad died and the only person who could have taught her is the one she is meant to grieve for now. So Alicia feels guilty when she catches herself laughing about a joke that Fred has made, when she catches herself feeling safe sleeping next to Charlie or George, when she makes plans for after the war. When she goes a whole day without thinking about her. When every fibre in her body is aching for Adrian but not her mum.

“Alicia?” Oliver says, his fingers lightly prodding her arm. “Are you okay?”

Alicia nods, her hands holding on to a portkey ribbon maybe a tad too tightly. “I was just…” Angelina passes her a tissue and first she’s confused but then she can feel the cool air against her wet cheeks. She hadn’t thought that there were any tears left.

“It’s alright.” Angelina gives her an encouraging smile. “You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

Alicia doesn’t think she’s strong at all. If she were strong she’d have stayed long enough to see what shape Adrian’s patronus took. To see that it’s a swallow and still leave because even if he did love her, he’d still been responsible for the hurt he caused. If she were strong then there wouldn’t be a two pound coin in her pocket. If she were strong she wouldn’t even consider forgiving him.

~||~

Alicia spends all of January and most of February travelling between safe houses. With the increase in temperature, there’s an increase in attacks on muggles. The Order is spread thinly, trying to cast as many protective charms over muggle dwellings as they can whilst hunting down dark creatures and trying to work out You-Know-Who’s next steps. 

She becomes an expert in healing curse wounds. Alicia thinks she must have surpassed Maggie by now who’s seen most of these curses in books only. Alicia sees them almost every single day. The dark matter curse is still prevalent but so far she’s managed to treat it with Tergeo just fine. The curse that is really causing her trouble is Dolohov’s vine curse. Every time a member of the Order drops off a muggle or other wizard or witch with the thin leaves sprouting from their bodies, Alicia’s heart sinks. She resorts to stunning the victim straight away, as it’s not made any difference whether or not she does. Because they all die. So the best she can do is ease their pain. 

“Do you know where Remus is?” Bills asks after Alicia’s finished treating a muggle who’d been attacked by a werewolf. 

“He’s with Tonks. But you can’t take him there.” Alicia meticulously washes her hands in the sink. The muggle won’t fully turn into a werewolf as it hadn’t been a full-moon and, at worst, will be in the same situation Bill himself is in. She can understand though that Bill would want Lupin to help him talk to the muggle about what to expect.

“I’ll send him a patronus. Are we okay to stay here?” Bill banishes a pile of bloody bandages. 

Alicia dries her hands on a kitchen towel. “Sure. He’ll be out for at least another couple of hours though.” They’d put him up in one of the bedrooms after Alicia’d finished treating the bites and scratches. “I’ll just have to…” Her gaze flickers to the door to the living room. 

“Right. I can help.” In the living room is the other muggle that Bill had brought with him. He hadn’t been that lucky. Dolohov’s vine curse had hit him straight in the face. Alicia hadn’t been able to do anything but stun him so the screaming would stop. She’s convinced that the curse works even faster on muggles. Dolohov probably designed it that way.

“We should have a look whether he’s got any ID on him.” Alicia makes for the living room. The body is face down in the middle of the room. The vines aren’t growing anymore but didn’t wilt with his passing either. Alicia takes a deep breath and then goes through the pockets of his jeans and the ones of his jacket. There’s nothing. “Crap.”

“Shall I get a message to Shacklebolt?” Bill asks from the door jamb. 

“Yeah. Where did you pick him up?”

“Sherwood forest. Fleur and I were following up on some rumours of possible werewolf sightings. Well, they turned out to be true, I suppose.” Bill watches Alicia gently turn the body over. There’s a mess of bloodied leaves where his face used to be.

Alicia sighs. She’d been too quick to wash her hands. With sure hands she pulls the vines away from the muggle’s face so she can cut them off. They’d grown out from his eyes, nose and mouth and once Alicia gets rid off them, she can see how young the muggle had been. “You don’t have to stay for the next bit.”

“Is it really necessary?” Bill sounds closer but Alicia doesn’t look away from the muggle’s face. He’ll be joining the long list of faces of everyone Alicia hasn’t been able to safe. 

“Yes. We have to drop him off somewhere the police can find him.” Alicia wipes her bloodied hands on her jeans so she can grip her wand more tightly. “And we can’t do that if he’s not died from plausible causes.” 

Shacklebolt has been over this with them. Any muggle victims would need to look like they’d been killed by other muggles. They couldn’t just leave them outside police stations with curse wounds. There was a spell that mimicked the effects of a brain haemorrhage which they’d been using for non-visible curses like an Avada. But that wouldn’t do any good on the body in front of Alicia. 

“They’ll cut him open, won’t they? And then they’ll find the vines.” 

Alicia nods. “I need to get rid off them.” She aims her wand at the muggle’s head. “Can you cast a shield charm around him, please?”

Bill does. “This is sick, you know.”

“No.” Alicia focuses on the Incendio spell. “This is war.”

~||~

By March Alicia isn’t even pretending anymore that she’s not looking at the protean coin every single morning. It’s the first thing she touches. The words are still the same. She wonders whether Adrian is still looking at it or if he’s given up. George is stirring next to her and she puts it away again. Maybe tomorrow she’ll write something. 

Tonks is massive and doing well apart from the fact that she feels completely useless.

“I could help you with healing.” 

“No. You shouldn’t apparate unless it’s an emergency. And we’re not wasting portkeys.” Alicia reads the diagnostic spell shimmering over the older witch’s stomach.

“Alicia is right. It’s too dangerous.” Lupin is pacing behind her. He’s ever so worried that the child will carry his werewolf genes. 

“This is rubbish.” Tonks pouts.

“Your only job is to keep the baby safe.” Alicia consults one of the midwifery books she’s brought with her. She can get her head around a new curse pretty quickly but prenatal care is still a big mystery to her. “Do you want to know the sex of the baby?”

“Yes.” Tonks says at the same time as Lupin says “No.”

Alicia rolls her eyes. “Lovely. Well, I still can’t see any irregularities in the baby’s DNA. And we’ve monitored erm it during the full moons. The chances of lycanthropy being passed on genetically are pretty slim from what I’ve been able to find out so far. There aren’t a great many books that cover it, but it’s not mentioned as one of the ways that becoming a werewolf can happen.”

“That’s good, isn’t it Remus? I’m sure the baby will be fine.” Tonks gingerly caress her pregnant tummy. 

“But there is still a chance.” Lupin has stopped pacing and is now anxiously studying Alicia’s diagnostic charm. “What does this mean?” He points at some flashing digits.

“That’s the heartbeat.” Alicia frowns and flicks through her book. “Yeah. And it’s good. Steady. Normal.” 

“And that?” 

“That tells me the gender.” Alicia waves her wand and the diagnostic charm vanishes. “Do you want to know or not?”

Lupin and Tonks exchange a long look. “No.” Tonks says eventually. “We’ll wait.”

Alicia nods and shrinks the midwifery books so she can put them into her satchel. “Fair enough.” 

“Thank you, Alicia.” Lupin smiles at her. “You are pretty good at this. Maybe midwifery should become your specialism after the war.”

Alicia gives him a weak smile back. It definitely will not be. Alicia is terrified of the whole having to deliver a baby in about a months’ time idea. She’s read book after book and it all sounds horrible. At least Mrs Weasley and Mrs Tonks have both volunteered to support her and have been doing some reading themselves. And they’ve been through giving birth so that’s valuable experience. But of course Alicia isn’t going to share any of that with Lupin so she just says “Yeah, maybe.” before she makes her way back to Aunt Muriel’s.

~||~

“Are you alright?” Charlie whispers into her ear. 

Alicia nods. They are both leaning against the chintzy sofa that serves as the twins’ bed. Today’s been horrible for Alicia. She’s spend birthdays without her mum before but not like this. This is the first of many birthdays she will now not have a mother to call and thank for an embarrassing present. She will never be able to call her mother again. 

“Let’s talk about what we are going to do after the war.” George has clearly seen her maudlin from his space perched on the edge of an armchair that Angelina is half curled up in. “Best idea wins a galleon.”

Fred, who’s stretched out on the sofa behind Alicia and Charlie, says. “I am going to streak down Diagon Alley.” 

“Lovely.” Katie pulls a face. “Let me know when and I’ll make sure to stay the heck away.”

Fred blows her a kiss. “You don’t know what you’re missing out on.” 

“That’s a rubbish idea.” Lee entwines his hand with Katie’s. “Why would you want to run down a street naked?”

“Well, it’s simple, my dear friend. You make the most profit with an aggressive advertising campaign.” 

“So you’re doing it to get witches?” Oliver’s exacerbation is obvious in his voice.

“Obviously.” Fred snickers. “Can’t wait.”

“Doesn’t that bother you, George?” Lee grins. “Once you see the one…”

George shrugs. “I’ve long given up trying to stop Fred’s exhibitionistic nature.”

“What do you want to do, George?” Alicia asks.

“I am going to spend all of our savings on buying the Chudley Cannons. And then I’m going to change their team colours so that Ron will finally be able to wear their merchandise without looking like a dick.” 

“You’re such a good big brother.” Charlie says. “Maybe he’ll finally get somewhere with Hermione then.”

“Merlin knows he’ll need all the help he can get.” George laughs and they all join in. “What about you, Charlie?”

“I’m going to be boring. I just want to get back to my dragons.” He leans back, his shoulder gently pressing against Alicia’s. 

“I was writing a piece on dragons before…” Lee clears his throat. “I think I’d like to finish that. So that’s my plan. Maybe I could come to Romania to get some more material.”

Charlie nods at that and Katie smiles shyly. “Well, I really like photography so maybe I could come with you? Take some pictures for your article?” The petite witch says and Lee smiles at her.

“I want to play Quidditch.” Oliver stretches his long legs out in front of him. “I don’t even care anymore for what team.”

“You can play for the Cannons. Seeing as I’ll be their new owner.” George says benevolently. “What about you, Angelina?”

Angelina yawns. “I am going to sleep. That’s my plan. Once this is all over I want to sleep for at least two weeks straight.”

“Just sleep?” George wiggles his eyebrows at her and earns himself a punch in the shoulder. 

“Pervert.” Angelina rolls her eyes. “Are you going to go back to St Mungo’s, Alicia?”

Alicia shrugs. “I think so. I might take some time out first though. I had a letter from my solicitor the other day about my mum’s house finally getting sold so…I might do some travelling.” 

“That’s a nice idea.” Katie smiles at her encouragingly. 

Alicia doesn’t want to look at anyone else, they’ll all look sympathetic and she doesn’t want that now. “Anyway. I think Fred’s idea was the best.”  
“Oh, definitely. So who am I getting a galleon from?” 

“You’ll get it after, Freddy.” George smiles at his brother. “I’ll give you a galleon once it’s all over.”

~||~

Alicia gets woken up by Mrs Weasley early in the morning at the beginning of April. 

“It’s time.” The older witch says and hides her apprehension behind a smile. 

Alicia detangles herself from Charlie and pretends not to feel mortified. Charlie just mumbles something but then goes back to sleep. Alicia quickly gets dressed and then follows Mrs Weasley downstairs. She’s glad for the lack of light at this early hour and how it hides her bright red face. Alicia doesn’t think that Mrs Weasley isn’t aware of the sleeping arrangements in the house but it’s one thing for her to know and the other for her to wake Alicia up in Charlie’s arms when they’re meant to be just friends. Which is what they are, they are only sleeping in a bed together, hardly touching when falling asleep but still waking up entwined every morning.

“Ready?” Mrs Weasley has lead her past the anti-apparition wards over Aunt Muriel’s house and is holding out her arm. Alicia nods and grabs it.

The house is quiet but Tonks’ bedroom is doused in a soft light. Mrs Tonks is coming in and out, carrying more towels than Alicia hopes they’ll ever need. Lupin is holding Tonk’s hand, he looks split between being ecstatic and terrified. Mrs Weasley helps Mrs Tonks with the towels. Alicia sits down at the foot of Tonks’ bed. She casts the diagnostic charm.

“How are you feeling?” Tonks’ and the baby’s heart rate look fine. “Have you been timing the contractions?

Tonks is a little sweaty but looks fine. “Yes. They’re about eight minutes apart. I told her not to call you until I’m down to five.”

“That’s alright. It’s your first one, they might get shorter more quickly than anticipated.” Alicia is pulling information out of her fingers, she has no idea whether that is actually true.

Lupin gets to his feet. “Can I do anything? Maybe some tea? Chocolate?”

“Um no.” Alicia sets the diagnostic charm up to stay just over Tonks’ shoulder where she can keep an eye on it. “Ice chips.” 

He nods sharply and then leaves the bedroom, mumbling to himself. Tonks grins at Alicia. “Wanted to get rid off him?”

Alicia shrugs. “He’s making me nervous.” She places a cushion under Tonk’s coccyx. “Tonks, I don’t want to worry you, but I have only read about this.”

“I know. It’s okay. We’ll manage somehow. Thousands of women have been fine…”Her words are cut off by a contraction. She breathes her way through it, Alicia can’t do anything but watch her. “Have been fine without any help at all.”

“Right.” Alicia rubs her hands against each other. “Um I am going to have a look…I need to see how dilated you are.” 

“You can say vagina, you know.” Tonks laughs when Alicia pulls a face. “Prude. Come on, Spinnet. Be brave.”

“Vagina. I am going to look at your vagina.” Alicia turns when Lupin noisily drops the bag of ice cubes at his feet. 

“I will…Towels.” He turns, leaving the ice cubes behind. 

Alicia laughs. “He’s worse than me. Good thing you’re not having a daughter.” Tonks’ eyes grow wide and Alicia throws her hand over her mouth. “Fuck.”

“We are…we are having a son?” She’s a little teary now. “We are having a little boy?”

Alicia nods. “I’m so sorry, Tonks. It just slipped out.”

“Let’s hope he will too.” Tonks laughs.

It isn’t an easy birth. Alicia does her best to help Tonks with the breathing but can’t really focus as she’s also trying to monitor the baby’s heartbeat and make sure it’s facing the right way. Mrs Tonks and Mrs Weasley take over looking after Tonks’ breathing at some point, Lupin just feeds Tonks ice chips but is pretty useless apart from that. There’s a lot of blood, much more than Alicia anticipated and she’s glad for the mountains of towels she’d been provided with. The baby isn’t quite positioned the way it ought to and Alicia has to perform a complicated charm from one of the midwifery books. After what feels like hours of coaxing and turning and breathing on everyone’s part, Edward Remus Lupin is finally born in the early morning hours. Tonks is exhausted but beams, the small pinkish baby in her arms. Lupin looks dumbstruck and much paler than is healthy. Mrs Weasley and Mrs Tonks look relieved and happy. Alicia performs a number of postnatal spells on both Tonks and the baby, making sure everything is where it is supposed to be. 

“Thank you, Alicia.” Tonks says, her voice heavy with emotion. “Thank you.”

Alicia smiles at them. There’s almost too much love and happiness in the room, it’s palatable in the looks that Tonks and Lupin exchange, they way Tonks holds her little baby and the constant gaze of Mrs Tonks on her grandchild. It makes Alicia ache, her whole body starving for Adrian. 

“Are we okay to leave them to it?” Mrs Weasley asks, her hand lightly brushing Alicia’s shoulder.

“Yes.” Alicia reaches into the pocket of her jeans. She can feel the constant warmth of the protean coin. “We are okay.”

~||~

The whole house is abuzz. Harry, Ron and Hermione had been seen leaving Diagon Alley with the Gringotts’ dragon. 

“Something is bound to happen.” Everyone keeps saying and they all dig out the old galleon coins that Hermione had charmed for any news. 

Alicia is on edge. She’s sitting in the garden, her hand tightly holding on the two pound coin she charmed herself. Shacklebolt has been round just an hour ago, making sure that they’re all ready to join any imminent confrontation between Harry and You-Know-Who. Alicia’s been told that she’ll be on healer duty and she’s not to join the battle itself. Charlie volunteered to stick with her to make sure that they’d be able to save as many people as possible. She’s got her first aid satchel ready, making sure that it’s filled with all sorts of potions as well as the ribbons for St Mungo’s. There are almost no blue ribbons for the safe houses left but if there is a final battle than they’d need to send them to the hospital anyway and not to safe houses in the middle of nowhere.

She takes a deep breath. Alicia can’t wait any longer. If she wants to make her peace with Adrian, she’ll have to contact him now. She points her wand at the charmed coin. Farm house tomorrow 4 pm. 

“Bill has dropped off some more essence of dittany.” George says and Alicia quickly shoves the pound coin down her jeans pocket.

“Good. I’ll add it to my satchel.” She gets to her feet. “I better add some dittany leaves as well, I can chew them if I run out. Your dad said that there are a few plants growing in the back garden.”

“I can help you.” George leads the way and they walk in silence.

There are indeed a couple of sad looking dittany bushes growing amongst roses and something that could be parsley or coriander. There is no logic in Aunt Muriel’s gardening. 

“Do you think that’ll be it?” George gingerly winds his hands around a rose bush to get to the dittany leaves. 

“Shacklebolt is convinced there’ll be a battle within the next couple of days.” She gets out a small cotton bag from her satchel to store the dittany leaves in. “I think he’s right.”

George winces quietly when he’s stung by a thorn. He sucks on his index finger. “I don’t know whether I should be scared or relieved that it may finally be all over soon.”

“I’m just scared. And I’m not even meant to fight.” Alicia adds the dittany leaves the George hands her to the ones she’s already put into the small bag. “But we’ll get through it, George. Somehow we have to.”

“We will. I can’t even imagine…no. We will get through it. All of us.” George rubs some dirt from where he’s kneeled on the ground. “We’ll get through it just to see Fred streaking down Diagon Alley.”

Alicia laughs. “Ugh. I think I’ll join Katie in avoiding London on that day.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t want to watch. Seeing Fred will get you two ticks on your ‘Weasleys I’ve seen naked’ list. Three down, four to go.” 

She ignores that George knows then that she’s slept with Charlie. He’s not annoyed so Alicia is happy to just go along with it. “Actually, it’d be four down.” 

“What?” George crosses his arms in front of him. “Four down? Who else have you seen?”

Alicia grins. “Not telling.”

“Ginny?” He frowns. “Eww, Percy?” 

“Not telling.” She picks off another few dittany leaves.

“It’s not one of my parents, is it?” 

“George.” 

“Just checking. Ronald?”

Alicia flicks a piece of coriander (parsley?) at him. “Leave it, George. I will not tell you.”

“It’s Bill, isn’t it? It’s Bill and now you’ve been ruined for all other wizards. How can any of us mere mortals compare with Bill ‘I bagged a veela’ Weasley.”

“Not telling.” Alicia gets to her feet. “I think that’s all the leaves we can get.”

“I’ll find out, you know.” George watches Alicia shrink the bag and stuff it into her satchel. “So you might as well tell me now.”

“No chance.” Alicia starts walking back to the house. “Are you coming?”

She can hear George’s foot steps getting louder as he’s catching up to her. “I’ll just ask Angelina. She’ll tell me.”

“She won’t. Because she’s five down.” 

“What?” George sounds a little panicky. “Five?”

Alicia laughs and turns around to face George. “Five.” 

~||~

It’s gone half past four and Alicia is on her third cup of tea. Not drinking, just making and then forgetting about them whilst she stares out of the window waiting for Adrian to show up. He never replied to her coin message but she’s sure that if he’s seen it than he knows which farm she means. Alicia’s running through what she wants to say with the third cup of tea going cold in her hands. If he shows up.

There’s a quiet knock on the back door. Alicia puts down the mug and holds her wand tightly. She can’t dismiss the possibility that one of the Lestrange brothers has seen the coin or read his intentions in his mind. Or that he never loved her and is only showing up to get her. 

“Alicia?” Adrian’s soft voice sounds from just outside the kitchen. Her heart is beating so fast now, she’s not heard her name leaving his mouth for more than six months. “Where are you?”  
He enters the kitchen, no wand in hand. Alicia doesn’t dare lower hers yet. He looks fine. Thinner and tired but fine. 

“Alicia…” His hands are reaching out for her and the thought of touching him again is almost too much. She’s not sure she’s ready for that yet so she steps back. 

“I brought Veritaserum.” Alicia hates how shaky her voice is. She reaches into her satchel and digs out the small vial she’d pilfered from Mrs Tonks’ personal stash. 

“Of course. Anything.” He takes the vial and drinks the whole thing even though he’d only needed to take about three drops.

“Let’s go to the living room.” Alicia leads the way and sits down on the armchair. She doesn’t want him too close, she’s worried her brain will shortcut if she’d accidentally touch him. 

Adrian takes the sofa. His eyes are running over her body, exhaustion seems to be leaving him with every inch they cover. “I didn’t think you’d ever want to see me again.”

“I didn’t.” Alicia suddenly wishes she’d have taken her cup of tea with her to give her hands something to do. She resorts to twirling her wand. “Did you come to my flat for information only?”

“Yes.” It hurts more than she thought it would. “But I never relayed information to make myself more useful. It was to protect you.”

“Even at the beginning?”

Adrian nods. “I…I always liked you. I had this crush on you at school and when I saw you in Bones’ house, my heart stopped. I didn’t want them hurting you. I never want to see you hurt.”

Alicia blinks away some tears. “Did you know about my mother?”

“No. I didn’t. Alicia, if I’d known…they said that the two of you would be save.” Adrian makes a move as if to come closer but stops when Alicia raises her wand. 

“George saw you with Rabastan Lestrange on Diagon Alley. He said you seemed like you are friends.” 

“I am not friends with him. Snape…He spent some time teaching a few of us Occlumency. I could hardly be open about how much I hate him.” 

“Have you killed anyone?” Alicia doesn’t know what she’ll do if he says yes. 

Adrian looks down. “I don’t know. With some of the fights we’ve gotten into it’s been hard to…I haven’t killed anyone outright.”

Alicia worries her lip. “Do you…” She wishes she’d written down everything she wants to ask him. “How is Archibald?”

“He’s fine. Bimbly adores him. Archimedes not so much but they are at least civil towards each other now.” Adrian has a weak smile on his lips. “He misses you.”

“Does he?” She’s not sure her cat ever liked her enough to miss her.

“He does.” Adrian slowly gets up. “I miss you too. There’s not been one day when I haven’t thought about you. You’re the first thing on my mind when I get up and I fall asleep to the memory of your smile. I know I have broken your trust. All I ever wanted was to keep you safe, to not let anyone hurt you and in the end it was me who hurt you the most.”

Alicia knows what he is going to say next. And she’s ready to hear it, she needs to hear it. She’s never needed to hear anything more. But she never does. Oliver’s golden retriever patronus bursts into the room. ‘It’s begun.’

Adrian stares at her. “Don’t, Alicia. Please don’t go. We can go somewhere else. Anywhere else. I don’t have the mark, he never got round to it. He’ll never find me. Please Alicia. I cannot keep you safe if you go.”  
“I’ve got to.” Alicia is on her feet, her wand tightly in her hand. “They need me.”

Adrian steps closer to her. “Alicia.” He holds out his arms but Alicia doesn’t let him touch her. Because she doesn’t know whether she’ll be strong enough to leave if he does. 

“I’ve got to go.” Alicia gets ready to disapparate. “Are you going to ignore him if he calls you to fight?”

“I will go. But only to find you.” Adrian lowers his arms. “I will find you and keep you safe.”

Alicia disapparates.


	14. Chapter 14

They leave the dark tunnel bumping into each other, their wands clutched tightly. Panic and fear is a dark lump in Alicia’s stomach. The first thought that comes to Alicia’s mind is that everything is so loud. The air is positively buzzing with magic. You-Know-Who’s ultimatum to give Harry up by midnight rings in her ears.

“You’ve got the ribbons?” Charlie shouts at her and still Alicia has to read his lips to understand him.

Alicia holds up her satchel. In it are the red ribbons they have spend hours turning into portkeys to St Mungo’s. 

“Alright. I will not leave your side, okay? Your only task is to send all the wounded to the hospital.” Charlie reaches out to grab her hand. “Mine is to make sure you’re protected.”

Alicia nods. She was so sure she’d want to join the fight, to make sure her friends are safe. But she knows her limits. Alicia knows that she can do much more good by acting in her role as a healer. And a selfish part of her is relieved because roaming the castle is giving her the chance to try and find Adrian. To find him and then tie a ribbon on his wrist and send him away. Because she doesn’t want him to keep her safe, she wants him to keep himself safe. 

They don’t have to walk long until Charlie and Alicia come across a body on the floor. Alicia kneels down, ignoring the school uniform and the young face. She feels for a pulse, casts a quick diagnostic spell. Alicia gets to her feet. Charlie searches her face and then nods. 

“Let’s move on.” He takes hold of her hand again. 

After the tenth lifeless body Alicia forces herself to stop counting. She’s yet to use one of the portkey ribbons. There are only a few Death Eaters around as they’ve not yet entered the epicentre of the fight. Charlie is quick to cast. He only immobilises them but Alicia can tell by the look on his face that he’s struggling to contain his anger and if it weren’t for her, he’d be casting something much worse. 

Eventually they stumble across a couple of students, a frazzled Hufflepuff girl and an unconscious Ravenclaw boy. And a calm looking Hestia Jones who’s trying her best to heal the cuts on their arms and faces. 

“We can take over from here.” Charlie says and Hestia nods sharply before running down the corridor back towards where Alicia assumes the fighting is taking place. 

Alicia doesn’t bother healing the cuts, she casts the diagnostic spell and upon discovering no grave injuries, she wraps the ribbon over the Hufflepuff student’s wrist. “Tap it with your wand, only once. It’ll take you to St Mungo’s, okay? Hold on tightly to your friend.”

The Hufflepuff girl nods and then pulls the boy into her arms. Alicia steps away. The student activates the portkey and once they’re gone, Alicia and Charlie continue on. They heal, Charlie using basic spells and Alicia tending to more grievous wounds. They wrap ribbon after ribbon on too gravely wounded students, teachers and anyone who’s not wearing the dark robes of a Death Eater. They don’t heal Death Eaters, just immobilise and tie them up for aurors to pick up later, if there ever is a later. On Alicia’s insistence they use disillusionment charms so the Death Eaters won’t get attacked by the hordes of dark creatures roaming the castle. They make their way through the school like this for what feels like hours. At every turn they take, Alicia expects to see Adrian. She never does.

“Where to next?” Charlie asks when they come out one of the corridors leading to the grand staircase. 

Alicia worries her lip. “I’m all out of potions.” She looks around to orientate herself. “We’re not too far from the hospital wing.”

Charlie nods and they hurry down several flights of stairs. By the time they make it to the hospital wing they’ve send several more students and aurors who they’ve encountered on the stairs to St Mungo’s. They were attacked a couple of times and Alicia is now sporting several cuts and a fractured rib. Charlie, who’s quick to throw himself between her and anyone attacking them, is looking worse even though Alicia’s been healing him over and over again. 

The hospital wing is eerily quiet and Alicia runs straight to the many cupboards lining the walls to shrink potions and stuff them into her satchel. Charlie locks the door with a spell and then joins her. Both of them stumble to their feet when You-Know-Who calls the armistice.

“We need to get to the Great Hall. That’s where they’ll take all the…the bodies and…” Alicia swallows heavily although her mouth feels bone dry. 

“Okay. Yes. What else do we need to take?” 

Alicia stares at the potions in front of her. “Blood replenishing potions. Strengthening solutions.” She raises her wand. “Maybe we should use Accio for gauzes and bandages. We need…” Her voice breaks. “We…” A sob almost shatters her.

Charlie is by her side instantly, pulling her close. “It’s okay, Alicia. It’ll be okay.” He says soothingly. “I think we’ll have enough. Let’s just go to the hall, alright?”

Alicia keeps her eyes trained to the back of Charlie’s head as he pulls her towards the Great Hall. The closer they get, the more students and teachers they come across. Relief floods her when she sees Oliver, quickly replaced with nausea when she realises that he’s carrying the dead body of Colin Creevy. 

They enter the Great Hall and her eyes fall on the line of bodies in the centre of the hall. She doesn’t recognise any of the students but then her eyes fall on Remus Lupin. Then she sees Tonks. And then Charlie lets out a cry that shatters her very soul. 

~||~

Alicia sits on the bench closest to the doors. Her wand is loosely in her hand. She’s walked the castle twice now. Nobody is paying her any mind, everyone too caught up in the aftermath of the battle. It’s over, Alicia keeps thinking. She doesn’t allow her thoughts to go to those they’ve lost, at least not yet. There’ll be time to grief. Now she needs to work out how to find Adrian. He isn’t in the castle, he isn’t amongst the bodies in the courtyard. 

“I’ve lined a few of them up in a classroom just down the hall.” A rough sounding auror says to Shacklebolt as they walk past her. Alicia lifts her head. “Auror Monroe is with them.”

“I’ll see to them in a moment.” Shacklebolt’s eyes find her. “Spinnet, we need you healing.”

Alicia nods but instead of following Shacklebolt, she turns left and leaves the Great Hall. Her hands are shaking and her heart’s threatening to burst out of her chest. She opens door after door, finding each classroom empty. There’s only one left. Alicia enters it.

There’s about eight Death Eaters lined up along the south facing wall of the room. Some are standing, most are kneeling. All their hands are bound behind them. Alicia looks at them but doesn’t really take in anyone’s face. She only sees that Adrian isn’t among them.

“What are you doing here?” A wizard, Alicia reckons it is auror Monroe, snarls at her. 

Alicia turns to him. “Shacklebolt asked…” She starts but Alicia’s cut off by another auror levitating a body into the room.

“Got another one. Not sure what’s wrong with his chest, but found him near Dolohov’s corpse.” The auror says and drops the bloody mess that’s hovering in front of him. 

Alicia freezes. She ignores auror Monroe shouting at her and kneels down next to the body. Adrian’s bloodied all over. The front part of his robes is hanging in tatters off him, there’s movement between the strands of fabric. And there is so much blood. Alicia runs the diagnostic charm, trying to read it while Adrian is mumbling words at her. She replies, everything feels like it’s coming to her through cotton wool. 

….All that blood on her hands….Her wand is slick between her fingers …Adrian is groaning under her hands…The long raised line that runs from just under his bottom lip all the way down to his sternum …Dolohov’s vine curse…she needs to cut him open…auror Monroe telling her to step away from him…Adrian coughs…“Just leave me. It’s fine.”…”I’m sorry.”…”Please, just hold on.”…”It’s okay for me to go.”…a Diffindo to cut open…streams of blood…she pries his flesh open… too close to his trachea…bleed out…Adrian’s not moving…and she casts and casts and casts.

“Alicia.” Shacklebolt’s voice booms behind her. 

She looks up at the auror, her vision is fuzzy. There are tears streaming down her face and there must be something wrong with the air around her because it hurts it hurts it hurts. 

“Is he dead?” There’s no emotion in the auror’s voice, just resignation. 

Alicia can feel her mouth moving but she’s not sure whether any words are coming out, so she nods. Adrian’s blood is burning on her skin. Alicia’s eyes flicker down at him. There’s more blood than wizard. Shacklebolt is talking again, he’s gesturing towards the door. Then the other auror is saying something. Alicia looks away from Adrian, her brain refusing to process what’s right in front of her. Auror Monroe pushes past her and hands Shacklebolt a fistful of wands. Alicia blinks. Blood is stinging her eyes, she’s not sure whether it’s hers or…or… One of the Death Eaters is moving. Alicia turns her head. It’s Bletchley.

Alicia wants to scream. This is his friend. This is someone who was meant to protect Ad-no. Alicia hurls herself at him. Shacklebolt barks her name. His voice doesn’t make it through the wall of pain surrounding her. She digs her hands into Bletchley’s robe, hissing words at him that don’t (that do?) make sense. Her hands are moving, Alicia’s brain too fuddled to take in what is happening.

“Spinnet, what are you doing?” Shacklebolt sounds exasperated but no closer. 

Alicia gets up, her hands holding something (a ribbon?). Again, words are leaving her mouth, they must be, because then Shacklebolt says “Definitely not. Well spotted, Alicia.” And he and the auror turn to leave the classroom, leaving the tied up Death Eaters and Ad-and his body behind. Alicia follows them, her eyes firmly planted on the hem of Shacklebolt’s robe because if she has to look at-if she has to look at him again she will die.

Most wounded are already healed or gone but now there’s time to heal minor injuries. So that’s what Alicia sets to do. She lifts her hand. Her wand is gone. 

“What’s the matter?” Shacklebolt asks. 

Alicia looks at her bloodied hands. “My wand…”

He frowns but hands her one of the wands they’ve taken off the Death Eaters. Alicia swallows down a shrill laughter that’s trying to escape from her throat. It’s-it’s his wand. Shacklebolt moves away and Alicia sets to healing. She moves in a way that will keep her away from the Weasleys and their unbearable grief. She moves in a way that will keep her away from Angelina, from Oliver, from Lee, from Katie. Alicia heals and heals and heals. She’s performing spells on muscle memory alone because there’s an endless repeat of him bleeding out in her head. 

Alicia heals until she is crumbling and breaking and crying. She heals until there’s nothing left but dry sobs and the feel of his wand in her hand. 

~||~

The weather is too nice for a funeral. And still Alicia watches the casket being lowered into the ground. Alicia doesn’t even know whose funeral it is. She’s been wearing black and attending funeral after funeral ever since the battle of Hogwarts only a week ago. 

“Colin Creevey.” Oliver says next to her. “I didn’t even know who he was.”

Angelina reaches out to hold his hand. “He was a hero. Like all of them.”

Alicia doesn’t say anything. Alicia doesn’t think that they were all heroes. They were students. Students who, legally adults or not, had no business partaking in the battle. 

“I don’t know what we are going to do now.” Oliver says later when they are sitting in the garden of the Burrow. “McGonagall has asked for volunteers to rebuild the school but I don’t know whether I can face…I don’t know.”

“I don’t think you should. I don’t think any of us should go.” Angelina straightens her long dark skirt. “Let someone else deal with it for once.”

Alicia nods. “I am going to leave.”

Her two friends look at her abruptly. 

“What?” Oliver asks.

“Where are you going?” Angelina frowns.

“There’s this programme with St Mungo’s where you can go abroad as part of your healer training. Maggie told me about it.” The lie burns almost as much as the coin in her pocket. “I am going to do that. Get away for a while.”

Oliver stretches out his long legs in front of him. “I don’t blame you. Where are you going?”

Alicia shrugs. “I was thinking Paris.” Paris appeared on her coin two days after the battle.

“That sounds lovely actually.” Angelina gives her a half-smile. “How’s your French?”

“Rubbish.” Alicia smiles back. “I’m leaving tonight.”

“Don’t forget to write.” Oliver reaches over and hugs her. “Is he there?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. But whatever is there must be better than staying here and constantly being reminded of everyone we’ve lost.”

Alicia hopes he’s there. When she thinks back to the battle her brain doesn’t quite provide her with a true version of events. She remembers running through the castle with Charlie by her side. She remembers Oliver carrying Colin Creevey’s body. But when it comes to Adrian it’s all mixed up in tears and blood. God, so much blood. And yet, there’s a burning protean coin in her pocket telling her to come to Paris. So that’s what she’s going to do. Alicia didn’t lie. Whatever is waiting for her in Paris must be better than staying here where she still expects Remus Lupin to offer her chocolate when she’s feeling down. Where she expects Tonks to wink at her and tell her to be brave. Where the absence of Fred’s laughter is more painful than any curse wound. She will always carry their memory with her, just like she is carrying her mother’s memory. 

But staying here with her friends will not help her heal. There’s only one person that is able to put her back together again. Because that person knows where the pieces are meant to go. Because there has only ever been one person who has made Alicia Spinnet feel complete. And she hopes with every single fibre in her body that he is waiting for her in Paris.


	15. Epilogue

Alicia leaves the carrefour on the corner of Rue Paul Séjourné and Boulevard du Montparnasse. She takes a wrinkly piece of parchment out of the pocket of her jacket and crosses the shop off her list. No luck again, she thinks. Alicia contemplates taking the metro back to the flat but it’s a lovely day so she ends up walking. The late autumn sun is warm on her face and as much as she has loved summer in Paris, September has brought a decline in tourists and a relief from the simmering heat. She shifts her satchel, brimming with rolls of parchment and textbooks from the Flamel Institut des maladies magiques, and discreetly casts a feather light charm on it. Her stomach grumbles as she gets closer to the apartment block that houses the garden flat she’s lived in for almost five months now. It’s Maurice’s turn to cook dinner tonight and the French wizard is a literal wizard in the kitchen. 

Alicia unlocks the main door to the building and runs into Madame Bernard who lives in the flat across from them. The old lady launches into a tirade of French and Alicia, whose translation charm is slowly but surely wearing off, can only understand every other word. 

“Oui…erm…” Alicia thinks it’s probably another rant about Archibald who keeps sneaking into Madame Bernard’s flat to disturb her finches but she can’t be sure. “Le chat…”

Madame Bernard huffs. “Non. Silly girl. Le chat ce n’est pas la problème.” She says in the mix of English and French she often resorts to when talking to Alicia. “Your boyfriends play music trop fort.”

“Trop fort?” Alicia worries her lip. 

“Too loud.” Madame Bernard mumbles something in rapid French that Alicia won’t even attempt to try and understand. 

“Oh. Je suis désolée!” Alicia ignores Madame Bernard’s pained expression at her atrocious pronunciation. “Je vais..erm…tell…dire..yeah. I will tell them.”

Madame Bernard shakes her head and disappears into her flat. Alicia makes a rude gesture at the door and then turns to her own flat. As usual, it’s unlocked. She sighs and enters the cramped hallway. There’s indeed loud music coming from one of the bedrooms but Alicia knows better than to knock and demand for the music to be turned down. Better not disturb him when he’s in one of his moods.

She drops her satchel by the garderobe and hangs up her jacket. Her nose takes her straight to the kitchen where Maurice is bending over something deliciously smelling.

“Qu’est-ce tu fais pour le…” Alicia starts. “Erm…fuck.”

Maurice laughs. “Oh, ma petite puce.”

“I still think that is something rude.” Alicia looks over the French wizard’s shoulder.

“Never!” He turns around to kiss her cheek. “When will you finally remember that dinner is just dîner?”

Alicia sighs. “Never.”

“Oi, Spinnet! Stop flirting with my boyfriend.” Miles grins at her and goes to kiss Maurice. “Is Marcus still throwing a tantrum?”

She nods. “Madame Bernard was having a go at me again for you guys playing music too loudly.”

“Are we still your boyfriends?” Maurice asks. He grabs a spoon and dips it into the sauce he’s preparing. 

“Yeah.” Alicia grins. “But, to be fair, I’m yet to correct her.”

Miles snorts. “Greedy cow.”

“My French just isn’t good enough.” Alicia ducks from Miles’ prodding fingers. “Sod off. You love being in a ménage à…erm..hang on..un, deux, trois, quatre…a ménage à cinq.”

Maurice laughs and holds out the spoon for Miles to taste the sauce. Miles gently takes the spoon into his mouth and looks at his boyfriend from under his lashes.

“Can people stop having eye sex in the kitchen, please.” Marcus growls from the door to the kitchen.

“Finished your brooding for today?” Miles reluctantly takes his eyes off Maurice.

Marcus just flips his friend off.

“I thought you English people were so polite but obviously that was a lie.” Maurice turns back to his cooking. 

Miles huffs. “I am extremely polite towards you!”

“Only because I suck your co-“

“I do not need to know that!” Marcus says and puts his hands over his ears. “Bad enough having the room next to that one.” He nods his head at Alicia.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. I am the definition of a pure English rose.” Alicia grins and angles her finger towards the sauce. Maurice slaps it away.

“Dream on, Spinnet.” 

“Stop fighting, children. Dinner’s ready.” Miles starts getting some plates out of the cupboard. “Can you get your boyfriend, Spinnet? He’s outside.”

Alicia leaves the kitchen through the sliding doors leading out into their small garden. He’s sitting on one of the chairs they’d bought just the other weekend at one of the many antique stores in the city. Strictly speaking it’s an indoor chair and they’ll have to take it in before it gets too cold and wet outside.

“Dinner’s ready.” 

He turns around and gives her a smile that makes Alicia feel all warm and fuzzy. His skin is darker than ever from months under the French sun and the scar that starts just under his bottom lip and goes all day way down to his chest stands out even more starkly than usual. Alicia can’t help it, every time she sees it, she’s reminded of that horrible night that was the Battle of Hogwarts.

The auror drops Adrian’s body to the floor and Alicia kneels down at his side. All that blood on her hands and she doesn’t understand how one single person can bleed so much. Her wand is slick between her fingers and she struggles to grasp it properly. Adrian is groaning under her hands, it’s a wheezing kind of noise and Alicia knows it’s because his lung has been punctured. But it’s not the punctured lung, not the broken wrist, not the fractured ribs and not the furiously bleeding gash on the back of his head that she is worried about. It’s the long bumpy line that runs from just under his bottom lip all the way down to his sternum. She clears a little of the blood and now she can make out why it’s moving. The line-his skin- is sprouting delicate little leaves. No, not leaves. Vines. It’s Dolohov’s vine curse. The luscious green is almost beautiful against the deep red of his blood. Alicia knows that she must find the root of the curse but for that she needs to cut him open. Just like Maggie Chambers did that one time in the parking lot. She pushes the thought away though because that time it didn’t work. All the times that Alicia’s come across the curse she’s not been able to save the victim even once. But she will not let Adrian die. Alicia is aware of the lone auror who’s meant to be watching the arrested Death Eaters talking to her, telling her to leave him and go to the Great Hall to heal all the injured witches and wizards who are on their side, to stop wasting her time on scum. Alicia ignores him. 

“Alicia…” Adrian coughs. “Just leave me. It’s fine.” He lifts his head, Alicia bends down towards him so he doesn’t have to strain too much. 

“Don’t talk. I…I will…” Alicia doesn’t know what she will do, what she can do. 

“It’s okay. Just…” His voice breaks, he coughs some more.”I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. All I did, I did to keep you safe.”

Alicia’s tears fall onto his face. “Please, just hold on.”

He smiles weakly. “Just…Alicia, just hold my hand…It’s okay then…It’s okay for me to go. I got to see you once more. To die now…with you here…it’s okay.”

She grabs his hand. “You are not going to die, Adrian Pucey. Don’t you fucking dare.” Alicia places a gentle kiss on his bloodied forehead. “This is going to hurt.” 

She takes a deep breath and with a steady hand she casts a Diffindo to cut open the person she loves most in the world. Alicia can’t cast a blood quenching spell at the same time and the streams of blood following her cut are making her hand shake. She steadies it with her other hand. Alicia can’t afford to cut even one millimetre too deep, she’s damaging his body enough as it is. As soon as the Diffindo has reached Adrian’s sternum she casts a Lumos and then takes her bloodied wand into her mouth to free up her hands. As gently as she can she pries his flesh open along the cut, pointing her wand towards the wound to help her see. She can just about make out the wiry green strand of the vine, it’s snaking its way through his pectoral muscles. Alicia lets out a sigh of relief when she sees that the vine is growing just under the skin of his throat and chin. It would have been too dangerous to cut any deeper there, too close to his trachea, too close to accidentally cutting his throat open and causing him to bleed out. 

Adrian’s not moving, Alicia doesn’t know whether he’s passed out or is just too weak to move. She doesn’t let herself consider the other possibility as to why he might not be. Alicia digs her fingers through the muscle and flesh of his chest. She drops her wand once and has to remove a bloodied hand from the mess that is Adrian’s upper body to retrieve it. Alicia digs and digs and finally she spots the little root, just nestled into his right pec. The curse must have been cast with the smallest amount of intent, she’s never seen the curse work so slowly. Or maybe it’s because Adrian is a pureblood and Dolohov developed the spell to affect muggles and muggleborns the most. Ever so carefully she cuts it out. As soon as the root is out of his body, the vine withers. Alicia quickly pulls it away, simultaneously casting blood quenching spells and healing charms. She doesn’t have any Dittany left. It will leave a scar. Alicia casts the stasis charm Mrs Weasley taught her all those months ago on Adrian’s ribs. She casts a variation of it on his lung, there’s nothing else she can do but hope it’ll hold. Hope that the punctures are too small to cause a collapse of the lung before somebody can take a proper look at it. 

“Alicia.” Shacklebolt’s voice booms behind her. 

Times up, she thinks. Alicia shoves her wand into her robe pocket before she turns around and gets back onto her feet. Shacklebolt looks tired but not too worse for wear. Alicia knows she looks like shit warmed twice over. 

“Is he dead?” There’s no emotion in the auror’s voice, just resignation. 

Alicia’s eyes flicker down at Adrian. He’s deadly white and blood is just absolutely everywhere. “Yes.” She focuses her gaze back onto Shacklebolt. “He’s dead.” She nods.

“Alright. Well, we need you in the Great Hall. There are plenty of people who need healing.” 

“What about them?” Auror Monroe asks. He gestures at the Death Eaters lined up by the wall, their hands bound behind them. 

Shacklebolt shrugs. “Just leave them for now. They won’t go anywhere. You got their wands?” 

The other auror nods. “Collected quite a few of them. His, too.” He gestures at Adrian’s body and then goes over to Shacklebolt to hand him a handful of wands. 

Alicia isn’t really listening. Only now is she taking in who is amongst the Death Eaters lined up. She rushes towards the kneeling form of Miles Bletchley. 

“Spinnet!” Shacklebolt barks but Alicia ignores him.

She kneels in front of him, hoping her robes are covering what she’s doing. With shaking hands she wraps a blue tattered looking ribbon around Bletchley’s wrist. “Portkey to a safe house. Tap to activate. You’ll have ten seconds.” She pushes her wand into his fist behind his back. “Take Adrian. He’s alive. Just. Send a patronus to Maggie Chambers. Tell her that I asked for her. She will come.”

“Spinnet, what are you doing?” Shacklebolt sounds exasperated but no closer. 

“Ten seconds.” She repeats before getting up. Alicia turns to Shacklebolt and holds up a red ribbon, one of the ones to St Mungo’s. “He must have found it somewhere. Don’t want Death Eaters using our portkeys, do we?”

“Definitely not. Well spotted, Alicia.” He and Monroe exit the classroom. “Let’s go.” Shacklebolt calls over his shoulder.

Alicia doesn’t look down at Adrian’s still form as she walks past him. She just hopes that Bletchley will have understood her rambling, will be able to use her wand and get himself and Adrian out. She hopes that Maggie will go to the safe house, that she will finish healing Adrian without asking too many questions. She hopes that they’ll manage to leave the country before somebody will go looking for them. Alicia hopes she will see Adrian again.

She shakes her head to get rid of the memory. “Also, they didn’t have hobnobs in the carrefour on the corner of Rue Paul Séjourné and Boulevard du Montparnasse either…” 

Adrian looks up at her. “That’s okay.” He pulls her close. “We’ll find some eventually.” And then he tells her what he’s been telling her every day since they’ve been reunited a week after the battle of Hogwarts in a shabby café just outside Gare du Nord, because, really, they were both stupid not to say it before. “I love you, Spinnet.”

“I love you too, Pucey.”


End file.
